Be Objective and Honest - Where am I right and where am I wrong?

1. 49

   FelineFranceposted 14 years ago

   I do agree at times I can be too sensitive but sometimes I feel like in my family there is a double-standard. If I am rude, I quickly forced to apologize. When my sister is rude to me, she always has an excuse she has a bad day, I have to learn that not everyone is going to respond the way I like, blah blah. I am so sick of it. My sister is very brutally honest, I guess it is my fault for asking for advice. What I am mainly upset about is I feel like no really cares about my feelings and I have to care about theirs. My sister always has a tendency to point out what is wrong with me, I feel like everyone is pointing out something I can not do continously. I feel terribly insecure, I always feel like everything is my fault.

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      wheelinalloverposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I too have always been a sensitive person. The advice given by the one who said treat everyone in a business like manner does work. Something that really helps also is surround yourself with positive people at every opportunity. In my case it helps that I am in business and the people I associate with are positive people.
      
      The other thing that helps is I work from home. Now a positive person is just a call or email away. Another thing that helped me is at first people were negative about my online ventures. Now at one point or another they have all worked for the business which was created, and getting positive feedback from my positive friends. It has changed everyone around for the better.
      
      In the end its going to be doing what works for you. Being surrounded by positive people is a step in the right direction no matter how you do it. Just don't go out and pay to start an online business. There are enough free opportunities and tools you need out there. Its just a matter of finding them. Hub pages is one of the better free opportunities.

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2. 70

   BJCposted 14 years ago

   Sounds like you're taking things too seriously.  Let things go a bit more.

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3. 65

   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   It's not how things are supposed to be, but in most relationships there's often one person who feels freer to have an opinion about (and express it to) the other person.
   
   If you're asking for people's opinions you're pretty much sending the signal you're open to people's opinions (and even want them).  So I think you're right:  That isn't helping.
   
   In another thread about something else, I mentioned that I have a friend who's the youngest of a bunch of siblings (parents are dead, they've appointed themselves "parent" to her).  The trouble is, she's - like - 40!  She always says how when they start telling her what's wrong with her, and what she should be doing, she'll do this thing where she's acting like she's looking all around her for some invisible thing; and she'll say something like, "I'm looking for the sign that's supposed to be hanging around my neck and that says, 'I'm interested in what you think about what I am/do'".     (or words similar to that  )
   
   As far as being rude goes...  To me, a bad day may be an excuse for not being able to be cheerful and happy, but it's not an excuse for anyone being rude.  All you can do is choose not to be rude yourself and let other people's rudeness be their problem - not yours.  If someone else makes a habit of being rude to you, stay away from them as much as possible.  One consequence of being rude to people is that relationships get damaged, and people drift apart.  If the relationship matters to you and siblings, you might want to talk about mutual respect from all involved.  Otherwise, let their rudeness be the thing that makes you end up keeping your distance from them.  If the other person wants to shape up and stop being rude - great.  Then you can re-think being around them.    (Just my opinion, of course.  Maybe I'm completely wrong about it.  I just know letting rudeness and lack of respect go on without taking some action, at best, doesn't tend to get any better.)

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4. 61

   Chaotic Chicaposted 14 years ago

   My ex-husband's family was like that.  As far as his family were concerned, they were always right and my opinion was always unimportant.
   It bothered me to no end at first until I had enough.  I just started treating them as I would anyone else I had a proffesional relationship with.  I was cordial, I minimized and downplayed any hint of disagreeance or disapproval, I smiled and nodded and aimed for politically correct.  I added just enough personality to not raise red flags then I'd go home and have a cup of hot chocolate, maybe a bubble bath, call a friend to vent if I could get away with it without letting my ex know, and anything else I can do to calm down.
   It's not you, you're not too sensitive.

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      Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      And now you've divorced the whole lot of them!     Sometimes time heals all, doesn't it....   

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5. 41

   Str8up Hookupsposted 14 years ago

   You have to decide what it is,you want for you.
   
   Stop beating yourself up because of what you think someone has to say about you,how you live your life or anything else about you.Even if they are,that's their problem,not yours.
   
   My friend is awesome,she's one of those people that is a breathe of fresh air,not just to me but to everyone she encounters. She doesn't see it that way,she measures her worth by other's standards and doesn't realize hers.
   
   A friend shared this with me awhile ago. How you feel about me,has nothing to do with me. It's your business.

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