My boyfriend is so friggin spoiled
- sandra rinckposted 15 years ago
0Selfish comes to mind. It is always what he wants to do and never what I want to do, and when I say what I want to do, he says ok, but goes on about his business like I never said anything at all.
My how the colors start to show after you have been with someone for a while. He said, "I will tell you, you are beautiful everyday." Haven't heard it since then.
He said, "Oh, I would never hurt you, you are too special." I guess ignoring me doesn't fall into the hurt catagory.
I told him, I will never stop you from doing whatever you want to do, it's your life. I know as much as I would love to control you, I can't do that cause it aint right even if I don't like it.
What is really bugging me at the moment is how, when me and my ex broke up, he knew why. Because he always chose to get fu**ed up with his friends over me. I could have been one of those girls who threw a fit everytime thier boyfriends went out, but not me. Nope, just let them go thinking, ok when I need him for something, I know he will stay...
I am so wrong, you see because if you are a girl with a spoiled and blindly selfish boyfriend, the one day you say, hey, do you have to go, can you just stay with me tonight, he turns and say, "don't try and stop me".
And just as he was always in agreement with why I left my x, it turns out he does the same thing. WTF???
I need to put a stop to it. I mean, he needs to learn a lesson on selfishness. Any suggestions?I have a feeling you give more then you recieve and you like the naughty guys, been there done that. Put your foot down and stop giving in, as this is why he controls the entire relationship, he knows you are not going anywhere so he will do whatever he so chooses as he is quite comfortable. Go out with your girlfriends , that should get his attention what is good for the goose is good for the gander. If the cell phone rings don't jump to it, hit the ignore button believe me he will wonder what you are doing, it is simply reverse psychology.
Good Luck
It is something in the air today, it will get better tomorrow
Going out with girlfriends having a three year old kid? Come on ladies, be realistic!
- RFoxposted 15 years ago0
Hey Sandy, sorry you're having such a crappy time.
The thing about people (especially guys) is that they won't change unless THEY want to change.
Sometimes deep down a person wants to change their ways (especially self destructive ways) but they don't know how and then they enter a relationship with someone who sees the real person inside and encourages that change.
Sometimes the seeds of change happen just through the love itself and wanting to be a better person for their mate but other times change happens because that person suddenly realizes their continued bad behavior is driving their partner away. It's that old adage: you don't know what you've got till it's gone (or almost gone.)
Your relationship should be a source of joy not pain. And while we all go through difficult times there should be more good times than bad and there should always be respect, otherwise, what's the point?
Unfortunately we can't control anyone but ourselves. This is both a scary and a liberating fact, I think!
Do what you want and need to do Sandy.
You have the choice (although it's a hard one) to determine your future. Simply tell your boyfriend exactly what you need and expect in the relationship. Tell him that you're not looking to change him but to ensure that what you want out of a relationship (to feel happy) is there.
Then leave the decision up to him.
Tell him that you can't go through another relationship like your last one and even though you love him, you need things a certain way. The tricky part is talking to him about this without being emotional and without giving an ultimatum. You're just clearly stating your needs, that's it.
Then it's up to your boyfriend to decide (without pressure) if he wants to be the one to fulfill your needs or if he just doesn't have it in him.
If he doesn't have it in him, then better to know now rather than later right?
By stating your needs clearly and honestly, it can save a lot of time and heartache.
I hope things get better for you!
Big hugs and love. LOL Sandy, looks like it's time for you figure out WHY you are dating such kind of guys
I agree with Misha. You are a beautiful and intelligent woman that seems to be repeating a negative relationship scenario. I've been there, it's an easy situation to find yourself in if you aren't careful.
One thing I will say also is that friends can be bad influences on people, however, again if someone wants to change they make the choice to distance themselves from such people.
You can't put all the blame on the 'bad influence' if your boyfriend chooses to hang out with him and then get s**tfaced with him.
It was also your ex's decision to drive that way. I guarantee you no-one put a gun to his head and said drive. And while good friends will stop people from driving in that condition, the fact that your ex thinks that's okay says something profound about him. He needs a reality check and proper clinical help!
It's good to hear your current boyfriend seems to be wanting to change his behavior but it's going to take more than your influence to do that. Anyone who has difficulty saying 'no' to drug use needs to seek professional help. You can't deal with it on your own.
They have to decide it's not a healthy lifestyle and then they need to have counseling.
roger doth sound much like Fat Mike.
- sandra rinckposted 15 years ago0
well I should have told ya'll what happened. I told him the truth about exactly the way I was feeling. End of story! He sees my point, I see his, it is all good, at least until next time. lol
Happy for you, sister
How did you get so many fans in four weeks? Hmm.. I think your a hooker! just kiddin'! You my girl.
kisses and hugs.
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