The Number of Single and Eligible Men Available for the Holidays

1. 61

   Paul Wingertposted 13 years ago

   The holidays are upon us again and it’s a time for celebration and wishing the best for the upcoming year. This is also a time to gather with old friends and making some new ones. For the single ladies out there, I have great news! I will now give you the total number of single and eligible men in the United States that are available for the holidays.
   
   There are 138 million men in the United States and out of that, 97,980,000 are married. That leaves us with 40,200,000. That’s a lot of available men out there, but unfortunately 94,701,209 are gay. So that now leaves us with 35,498,791.
   
   But out of that, 2,119,234 are incarcerated. So that drops the total down to 33,379,467.
   
   Out of the remaining 33,379,467 men, 31,286,245 will be unavailable because they’ll be playing the new Warcraft video game in their parent’s basement. So that leaves us with 2,093,222.
   
   Now with these 2,093,222 single and eligible men, 1,745.976 will be attending various Star Trek Conventions across the country. That gives us with a total of 347,246.
   
   Out of the 347,246 men, 299,946 are stuck at home because their parents won’t let them borrow the car. So that leaves us with a total of 47,300 single and eligible men.
   
   We’re not done yet, because out of the 47,300 guys, 46,156 are too shy to talk to women and will be spending their time in the adult chat lines. So that leave us with 1,144 available. But 1,141 are going into the Government Witness Protection Program.
   
   Now we are down to 3 single and eligible men available in the United States for the Holidays. But it doesn’t end there because out of the remaining 3, two will barricade themselves in a lead walled cave in Utah preparing for the end of the world on 2012! So that leaves one, me!
   
   LOL

   replyreport
   1. 60

      omcj1234posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Really funny but I think the math went a little haywire back at the total number of men/married/gay.

      replyreport
2. 85

   rebekahELLEposted 13 years ago

     hilarious!  you're going to be one busy guy. enjoy!

   replyreport
3. 60

   Lifeallstar1posted 13 years ago

   That was awesome! Can't believe only one guy left...do we need to make an appt or take a number?

   replyreport
4. 70

   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   I wonder where the homeless people fit into this?
   
   I am single and eligible male who is available for Holidays, however, it will remain that way also, regardless of what I do.

   replyreport
5. 52

   jobstruckdriversposted 13 years ago

   HAHAHA I'm also a guy who is available and eligible, but yet i just have to stay no comment.

   replyreport