Need advice - She's my best friend but she annoys me

1. 49

   FelineFranceposted 13 years ago

   She's very nice I guess. My family think she is a good person, which she is. But sometimes I honestly feel I can not express my honest feelings or opinions with her. Here is the problem, sometimes she will not allow me to finish explaining what I have say to before she steps in to correct me. It really annoys me because I feel like I am always wrong with her. Since I do not say much, she had a tendency to assume what I am thinking. I do think I should voice my opinion with her, but I do not feel I can. I feel she acts like she is more mature, more open-minded than me,better person than me, etc. Perhaps, she is right that I am close-minded but the way she talks to me is like she is mother.

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   1. 60

      seriousnutsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Some people are just like that. It's difficult to change them. If her habit really annoys you, then it's time to look for other friends. Your best friend might have some good qualities too, otherwise, you wouldn't call her your best friend. But it is impossible for one person to meet all your demands in a friend. Spend more time with others and less time with this friend. Allow each other to hang out with other friends. Spending time with other people other than each other allows you to learn more social skills. Being together for so long might have made her too comfortable with you and she might forget to observe her behavior in front of you.

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2. 74

   Hauntyposted 13 years ago

   The way you described her sets her up as an annoying person. If her assumption of what you're thinking is wrong or you feel she doesn't understand you, you should speak up and correct her yourself. If you are friends but she dominates the relationship, it is not a real friendship.

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3. 60

   knolyourselfposted 13 years ago

   Decide whether you want to keep it as it is
   or change it. If the latter - confront her and if she doesn't want to change Sayonara. An unhealthy relationship is bad for your health and not worth it in the long run. Plenty of fish in the sea.

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4. 60

   Sesshoumaru2stposted 12 years ago

   HAHAhA ,so you want to throw her under the bus without hurting her feelings. Well that's not an easy job.Here is what you do,tell her you like and appreciate her inputs,but she doesn't understand where you are coming from.If she is as adamant as i think she is,she will try to correct you stating she knows you very well.That's when you stop the nice guy act and tell her she needs to shut the hell up.You're your own man and you can make your own decisions.

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5. 60

   cheerfulnutsposted 12 years ago

   FelineFrance, I can feel your pain. I've met a couple of friends who are exactly like that. It's really getting on my nerves, too. Your friend seems nice, but she's definitely not a good listener. You don't need a mother, you already have one. That's the problem most people have with their own moms, that's why some people prefer to hang out with their friends. I don't really know what method works, because I wasn't able to figure it out myself. I confronted a friend about her "lack of listening skills." She got very upset and since then, she didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. Perhaps confronting your friend is not a good idea. Or maybe there were flaws in my method.
   If you don't want to take the risk of confronting her, here are my suggestions:
   -try to "filter" the things that you're going to tell her. Don't tell her things that will make her act like a mother. Maybe you could just talk about fun things, or neutral things.
   -Spend less time with her. Spend more time with your other friends.
   -Look for friends who will really listen to you.
   -Maybe you can act like a "mother" to her too! Maybe she'll get annoyed too and will realize how annoying she has been. Maybe she'll start changing.
   -Talk less when you're around her. If she's intelligent, maybe she'll notice the change and will start wondering why. Maybe you could confront her after that.
   I hope my tips are helpful or that you can finally come up with your own solution. I don't think you're being close-minded. Everyone wants to be heard. If she's a good friend, at least she should have let you finish first before acting like a mother.

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6. 60

   Peter Owenposted 12 years ago

   If she is your Best Friend, how do your other friends act. Best Friends should be able to talk and listen at lenght with ease and without judgement.

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