Hope I'm doing the right thing. Well the smart thing.

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   Tulips-smithposted 12 years ago

   Hey so Just wanted to follow up from my post the other day that basically explained my ex had started sleeping with another girl, someone he works with.  Not from him or friends but looking through his facebook Messages. Three weeks after this I dropped round his birthday, he called me In tears apparently had a nervous breakdown that night.  Said he needed time on his own to sort his head out and then get to know me again.
   
   After going home that night and finding out he deleted me from Facebook etc etc I text him asking him If it was over he told me no and said he same thing as I stated above but after catching him driving round to this girl house at 10 pm at night clearly for sex we have not spoken In Two months.
   
   Even though it's clearly over even If he has said this or not.  I just hope that I'm doing the right thing by not confronting my ex, leaving the rest of my furniture at his flat and just carrying on living my life.
   
   If one day my ex realises that I'm actually not gonna be petty, leave him alone liked he asked and carry on becoming the person I should of been a long time ago and wants to be part of my life is another question altogether but I guess if he is meant to come back into my life at one point and If I accept it whatever happens now will happen.  I've done all that I can now and even though some of you might of thought I'm crazy to say all of this and may be I will regret not telling my ex where to go.
   
   What's meant to be now will be and I do think I'm doing the right thing but who knows anyway just wanted to give everyone an update and say thanks so much for all your advice and help means a lot
   
   Ps I should explain we had already parted ways before he went off with someone else but I guess we still cared for each other and did wanna try and work things out or should I say I at Least did.

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   SomewayOuttaHereposted 12 years ago

   ...pick your stuff up first (your furniture)...don't make excuses for him....and always remember, a lie is a lie

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      Tulips-smithposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'm not making any excuses for him and dont get me wrong here but a lot has happened with us so now I have to do what's right for me and I just feel like If that is taking a step back and leaving him alone for so many reason I just can't help but feel like that is what I have to do.
      
      
      As I said may be il regret just leaving my things where it is and living my own life but you know I've also made mistakes with my Ex and I'm sure some of what he told me before we parted ways is a lie but I'm not gonna confront him ask him why he is Lieing And may be I am just stupid to do what I'm doing but hey I've gotta go with my gutt here and If I regret it later well may be that's a chance I have to take.
      
      And yup may be I'm crazy to say all of this but as I said I've gotta do what i think is right and picking up my things. Causing a scene for when he asks me questions etc is it actually gonna acheive anything???
      
      May be I just feel Like I have to be the bigger person and leave him my things well anyway and I don't say that thinking my Ex will ever talk to ne again I just say that cause I feel like I wanna do what's right for me. As crazy as that sounds.
      
      Thanks for your reply

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   2uesdayposted 12 years ago

   It is time to find a life that you are happy with, with or without him.
   
   Then if you get back together, well that is up  to you and him, and if you do n't then you have made a start on making a good future for yourself.
   
   You may be leaving the furniture there to keep the door of communication open,if it makes you feel better then do that. But to be honest it is only when you have moved on yourself that things will be viewed in a different way by you, and you will see things from a different perspective. Try to imagine you are reading your many posts here as a stranger and not as the writer; what advice would you give yourself?
   
   No need to respond to this, I just wanted to give you another way of looking at it.

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      Tulips-smithposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Yes and I totally agree with you and I am slowly getting happier, going back to work etc.
      
      I don't need my furniture back at the mo anyway and I'm not leaving it there for communication reason.  Guess I'm making a statement "he said he would keep it till we spoke again" but hey im not gonna rely on that.
      
      Thanks for your help.

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