Do You Like Me or My Writing?

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   Sophia Angeliqueposted 13 years ago

   This is a very controversial issues these days.
   
   I grew up in a culture whereby one gave credit for excellent work to someone, regardless of whether they liked you personally or not. If they did the job well, they were entitled to the credit. It was considered unethical to downgrade someone's work simply because one didn't like them. In fact, this was part of both the Christian and Judaic ethical outlook.
   
   As a precaution against this, in the South African school system where I was educated, in the final exams, papers were not set by one's own teacher but by someone completely unknown, and then the papers were marked by a third lot of completely unknown teachers.
   
   In other words, it was not permitted that one downgrades someone's work just because one didn't like them.
   
   Yet, throughout my 17 years on the web as a writer, I have continually noticed that when people disliked someone, they would mob attack the person by writing negative comments and giving one star where five stars was deserved.  By the same token, if someone was liked, regardless of the terrible quality of their work, that person would be given five stars.
   
   What are your opinions about this?

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      paradigmsearchposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I am fond of both you and your writing.

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         Sophia Angeliqueposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Paradignsearch - you make me laugh! Thank you.

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   sunforgedposted 13 years ago

   Only in rare situations like HubPages ( with its forums and comments) do most online readers ever have an opportunity to "like" the writer for anything but their content.
   
   My feelings are that I can put aside any personal feelings about a creator of a work and make my own judgments based on the merits of the work. But, I have/had to work with artists and writers in professional settings.
   
   But, I dont expect that to be the norm. Tis the whole reason PR exists and in a traditional setting - publishers and agents and editors dont want to work with writers they dont like or get along with.
   
   The real world isnt like school! ..well, actually it is, there are elements of a "popularity" and "likability" contest everywhere, isn't there?

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      Sophia Angeliqueposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Sunforged. Not true. Sites like Associated Content (now Yahoo Content - or something) proliferate with Group Think and Popularity Contests.
      
      Probably why I am a complete failure at any work I do. I have a complete horror of working with men who like me. If I don't like them back, they get revengeful. I've had enough sexual harassment in my life never to trust another male who likes me. Remember that I spent most of my working life in South Africa where there were no laws against sexual harassment.
      
      Essentially, I prefer to work with people who are impervious to me. They focus on my work. I focus on my work, and that's it. When personal likes and dislikes come into it, I don't cope very well. I am polite as anything and very, very professional if people are impervious to me. If their feelings about me come into play, I begin to 'react.' Consequently, I haven't done very well for myself.
      
      Ironically, I can work with people I don't like because I don't let my feelings influence my work.

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   sunforgedposted 13 years ago

   Well, I did say sites "like" Hubpages - so I would group AC, IB , especially Squidoo and any other "writing" site.
   
   I realize now that your asking a more general question about life in general, but my answer remains the same, Ive been mostly in admin/supervisory roles, so I made it a personal point to judge on merit rather than personal feelings, but I fully accept and recognize that in a normal workplace environment, peers and often time supervisors will be greatly effected in their judgments by their personal feelings. Im gonna have to go with that's human nature!
   
   Even personally, when in roles such as sales and service .. even if I could overlook an abrasive personality in my own judgment I had to take in account how that may negatively effect that persons peers or the customers!
   
   Lol, but I have that same fear when working with women who "like" me ... it can be equally rough, I promise! .. hell hath no fury and all that

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      Sophia Angeliqueposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Actually, it wasn't a general question about life. it was about writing.
      
      That said, I finally began to understand when I came to America that people actually made decisions based on popularity not on whether one was good at a job.  Yet my earliest education throughout my life was that it is a horribly unethical thing to do. Also, as I have always kept a distance from others in the work place, or in any place where people are strangers, I never had a need to like or dislike. I focused strictly on the work. With regard to customers, customers always loved me. Staff always hated me. The difference was that I only spent limited time with clients whereas I had to spend a lot of time with staff.
      
      In the mid 70s in England, I was working at a hotel. I got called in because I had told a member of staff that she needed to take a bath (she smelt terrible). I was told that my relationships with other members of staff had to improve or I would be fired.
      
      I pointed out these other members of staff might be polite to each other but that they were downright rude to clients. I, on the other hand, was extremely polite to clients. I was told that I had to work with staff 24/7 whereas I would never see the client again. And therefore it was more important to get on with the staff than the clients.
      
      You can bet that they never saw the clients again. When next I returned to London, the hotel had gone out of business...
      
      I think the entire idea of assessing people on their popularity leads to very bad decisions in the longer term.

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   Pearldiverposted 13 years ago

   Personally, I find the Five Stars system Very Restrictive..
   
   There is on every site a great deal what some idiot once called 'Professional Jealousy' - HP has its own share of it also and many of us have been subjected to that negative influence!
   
   Effectively it relates too those who feel insecure, threatened or challenged by the quality of another writer's work that is perceived to be (and may well be) vastly superior to their own.. So they rubbish that writer and the superior work, in an effort to boost themself and lower the mana of the better party.  It is conducive to Low Self Esteem and in guys having a Short 'Span of Attention' I believe
   
   For me... I'm not prepared to be so petty and insincere... I like to tell it as it is! That stance means that you give credit were credit is due!
   
   You need to Rise Above the average if you plan to be an above average writer!
   That requires one to get rid of perceived negative feelings about yourself or others.. and just get on and do the job to the best of your ability and an openness to constructive critique!
   
   Average writers (as you should know) don't often raise their game to take in the best that they can do... most only do the least they can to win the chocolates! That attitude is a vast contributor to their actual lack of ability.. How Sad

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      Sophia Angeliqueposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Pearldriver, and it is generally the people without the ability who succumb to professional jealousy.
      
      Funny story. In London, about a decade ago, I explained to someone that I did not need his critique of my work and did not want to join a writers' group as I had been writing and published since 1963, and I was able to do the job. He was highly peeved and asked me if I would, at least, send him an example of my work. I had no doubt that he was going to slash it to bits and pieces to prove a point, and against my better judgment, I sent it to him.
      
      The particular story had won first prize in a nation wide competition and had been published in a print magazine.
      
      He emailed it back to me and had done everything from tell me the names of the characters were wrong, the plot was wrong, the writing was dreadful, and endless other criticisms.
      
      I never bothered to respond to him, although I have never forgotten the level to which wannabes can sink. These days, I avoid them like poison.

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   sunforgedposted 13 years ago

   Sounds like the manager was an idiot! Which is par for the course in service and hospitality.
   
   Peter principle probably picked a peck of pickled principles

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      Sophia Angeliqueposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, I always thought there was something wrong with her.

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