If you died tomorrow, would you have regrets? If so what are they?

1. 74

   brittvan22posted 12 years ago

   
   If you died tomorrow would you have regrets yes or no? If yes, what would you regret and why? If no, what do you think keeps you regret free?

   replyreport
   1. 63

      Nan Mynattposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I would move to a warmer cllimate.  The north is very cold in the winter.   I had 3 major careers and I would have stayed in medicine.  I would try to stay home with my kids.  They were 12 years before I took a position to be home with them and not have a babysitter.  I was married 26 years to my children's father, and it was pure hell.  I was married to my 2nd 3 years. I would have made a better selection for my first husband.  We were unequal, I was educated and he was not, and didn't have that much ability. I had know him since I was 8 years old.  He is now deceased.  Men don't want their wives to be smarted than they are!  Men want to feel superior and not inferior than their wives.  I am glad to get it off my chest, my feeling about life, career, and marriage.

      replyreport
   2. 60

      annerivendellposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Interesting question. I don't think I'd regret anything. Not because my life  has been perfect, I've made plenty of mistakes,  but because whatever mistakes I made were because I thought it was right at the time. There are some things I wish hadn't happened, but they did and regretting them is not going to change the past.

      replyreport
      1. 61

         noenhulkposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         You are correct. Maybe my regrets will be for the things that I haven't done. Those mistakes that we thought are right and find out it's wrong is just fine. We can rectify the errors we made in our lives as long as we accept we have been wrong. Nice question here.

         replyreport
         1. 74

            brittvan22posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks noenhulk, I definitely agree with you for some the hardest part is admitting that they are wrong thats the first in any type of recovery process, whether its recovery from alcohol and drugs or restoring a relationship.

            replyreport
2. 70

   Cagsilposted 12 years ago

   Nothing. As I have grown/aged and learned(gained knowledge(including experience)),  I have come to a point of acceptance.
   
   This acceptance has allowed/granted me the power to release the past and any regret tied to anything once done.

   replyreport
   1. 74

      brittvan22posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      @Nan mynatt, wow that takes alot of courage to admit, I can certainly understand your position, which almost became my own position in 2011, but I chose to walk away and I am so greatful I did. I will have a dual masters and he has a GED, however, there are some good guys that are not threatened by women. @Kirsten, I can understand your position I have lost a child at 27 weeks and at one point I internalized it as a regret, but through time, I understood there are somethings you are not in control of and have learned from it as you said. @Cagsil, I hope to live as you are, I'm still pretty young, but I aspire to be regretless and I am taking steps to do so, but making peace with alot things. For me it was the death of 3 very important people that helped me realize that. Thanks for your input guys it was invaluable.

      replyreport
      1. 70

         Cagsilposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         You're welcome to check out how to go about doing what I did and learning what I learned. I don't mind sharing.

         replyreport
         1. 74

            brittvan22posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Ok, I'm all ears, I have just started last month after my Mom's death, however, its easier said than done. Some people I am learning no matter how well you treat them, despite their attitudes you just have to put them in the wind. One quality I never understand is jealousy and how to handle jealous and envious people. That was the issue I had with one person I was trying to mend fences with, but they are bent on my downfall. Any suggestions? I am a Mama's girl and grandma's baby and I know they would want me to make peace at all costs, but this situation seems impossible.

            replyreport
            1. 70

               Cagsilposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               I figured if I said that, then you would look at my profile, which would show you what topics I write about. My writing is all about improving ourselves as individuals.
               This is a grief period. It will take time to get over that grief. I lost my father when I was 17 years old.
               Not really. If you have to interact with them daily without an option because you work with them, then you only need to practice tolerance. There will come a time when those people will get the message, but it shouldn't change how you handle it.
               The Jealousy topic I covered in one article. It's the end all, be all for jealousy and how it is to be handled. It's universally written to apply to every person.
               Someone who is bent on your downfall has serious mental and social issues. It should show you a lot about this person. When this person applies any negative attitude toward you, you have two options (a) deal with by taking no action, which is most likely the higher road or (b) deal with it by irrational and emotional reaction physical actions, which most likely be driven by anger and harm, either you or someone else. If you find (b) acceptable in any situation in which your life isn't threatened or in imminent death, then you will live a very long and stressful life. If you take (a) then you learn to accept that people are flawed, ignorant(everyone is ignorant to some degree) and most don't understand their own life because their actions prove it time and again. Thus bringing acceptance. I did write an article about keys to life.
               Don't feel bad about it though. The article I just mentioned should help.

               replyreport
               1. 74

                  brittvan22posted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  Thanks I'm going to check out your hubs asap!

                  replyreport
                  1. 70

                     Cagsilposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                     You're welcome.

                     replyreport
3. 77

   kirstenblogposted 12 years ago

   My only regret would be that I am pregnant and would regret my son not making it to term. I wouldn't want for it to be a case that someone else had to die as well. I do think regret is a poor word for how I would feel as it's about what would have been not what was. Regret seems to imply a sense of having made the wrong decision or taking the wrong path and simply regretting missing out on future stuff isn't the same as a wrong decision. All of my decisions had value and taught me something so I don't use words like right and wrong for my past decisions. I think for me it is a case that I think in terms of 'did I learn from that' and if not, darned well try to! (never to late!)

   replyreport
4. 0

   Kathryn LJposted 12 years ago

   If I were to die tomorrow, I would regret not seeing my kids and grand-children this year and that I don't have any video or recordings of myself and their late father to leave them.  I have a CD of an old cine film of my parents, shot when I was a baby.  It gives me so much comfort, now that they've gone, to watch it.  There are plenty of other things that I would have done differently, but there's no use dwelling on things that have past.  I've tried living each day as if it were your last but gave it up because eventually, I was too tired to get up.

   replyreport
   1. 74

      brittvan22posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, so sorry for your loss. I cannot say I know how you feel, but I can relate having lost my Mom a month ago. I think you just have to live each day one day at a time. Drink in each precious moment. Sometimes the most precious of moments happen when you don't even realize it and later on upon reflection you can truly appreciate the moment for what it was. You can find pleasure in the simpliest of things.

      replyreport
      1. 0

         Kathryn LJposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks brittvan22.  I didn't mean to give the impression that I was sad, I've got used to so many important people in my life being gone, you do as you get older, and there are many things I enjoy and take pleasure form.  your posting just reminded me to take more time for the people I love and cannot see this year, what with living in another country and my husband having broken his leg. For now I am looking after everything on the small holding alone, whilst he's recovering.  I feel for you having so recently lost your mother.  Things will get better for you but for now, things will be tough.  Your right, life is precious and we spend so much time without reflection, just frittering it away.  Yet some of the most special moments only become that, many years after they happened.  Gosh, not used to such profound thoughts this early in the day.

         replyreport
5. 0

   Arlene V. Pomaposted 12 years ago

   I don't regret a thing.  If I dropped dead today, I would check out knowing that I accomplished a lot of things and traveled to many places.  I have experienced love in my life, and I can't say that for some people.  My path is a spiritual one.  I don't care about material things, nor do I get along with people who worship money.  I've been dealt a few hands, but I deal with those, too.  Self-pity is not my gig.  I strongly believe in my strengths and my courage to live.  I am content with my life.

   replyreport
   1. 74

      brittvan22posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Wow those were beautiful sentiments. I hope to be that way, I'm still a work in progress. How did you acquire this attitude or where you born this way?

      replyreport
6. 0

   Arlene V. Pomaposted 12 years ago

   Thank you so much, Brittvan.  I take that as a compliment!  Out of laziness, I'd like to tell you that this strength and courage that I feel was "built in."  But it's not.  I have seen so much pain growing up.  It all began by witnessing cruelty to animals.  I cried for them, but as a child, I understood there was nothing I could do.  People don't want to talk about the misfortunes in their lives, but I can.  I come to the believe that the people you meet (good or bad) teach you something.  As a child, I had a sexual predator after me.  He screwed with my head, but you have to believe in survival.  I don't believe in handing out forgiveness like candy, but I am aware of what he had done to me.  I could only acknowledge what he did to me, then let it go.  Things like that.  You learn, but for your own sake, you have to move on.  From my experience with him, I was able to work law enforcement years later, so I was able to work with many people who have committed the same sexual or mental crimes on children and women.  You have to find your own way, and you'll meet people who cannot get past what people or events had done to them.  You take the good with the bad, and you deal with things as they come instead of fearing what may happen to you.  I don't feel the need to "get even" with this "man."  I will leave it to God or KARMA and live a good life before it's my time to go .

   replyreport
   1. 74

      brittvan22posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Very well put. I commend you it takes alot to overcome those type of situations. As a chaplain I have sat with many people that were victims of abuse and the survivors always possess an unimaginable amount of strength and courage. As you said some allow it to ruin them and some work through it. Thanks for you input glad you took the time to write it. Thanks for sharing. SN Can't wait to read one of your hubs!

      replyreport
7. 59

   seajonposted 12 years ago

   There will be no regrets for me. It is my time then it will be my time, I cannot hide/deny my fate as it has been said "there is a time for everything".  Death is just the beginning.

   replyreport
   1. 74

      brittvan22posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Could you explain that a little more if you don't mind?

      replyreport
      1. 59

         seajonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I have already accepted that death is already part of our life. I see death as a new beginning for me to the world of the unknown. When I die no matter when, I am already prepared.

         replyreport
         1. 74

            brittvan22posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Oh ok, I understand your perspective now.

            replyreport
8. 0

   LikaMarieposted 12 years ago

   The ONLY regret would be that I didn't finish raising my son until he's out of high school.  My boy is 12, and I'm divorced from his dad because he isn't a good dad.  Since the divorce, my son has flourished socially, emotionally, academically and personally.  I'd hate for that to get wasted down the drain because I died so soon.
   
   Other than that, no, I have no regrets, because I'm walking the path I'm supposed to be.  I'm satisfied with my work so far.  My son is my only unfinished business.

   replyreport
   1. 74

      brittvan22posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Nice, thanks for sharing your writing is a pleasure to read!

      replyreport