Hubber Etiquette
1. Be careful in our choice of words.
Saying things like "Thank you for sharing your thoughts. If I may suggest a different alternative..." instead of "That's stupid. This is the correct response.." Sometimes, in order to keep myself from flying off the handle and saying stupid things, I take a deep breath and ask myself how I would wish to be addressed, if I were that person. That their thoughts and opinions are as valuable as mine, and that I have no right to belittle or get arrogant.
2. Avoid personal attacks
No matter how much I may think that someone is stupid, I need to remember one thing: respect! sometimes in the heat of the argument it is easy to forget the whole point of the forum, which would be to discuss opinions and ideas. Once I personally attack someone, I have made myself into a fool by showing myself to be uncontrolled and abandoning the original intent of participating int he forum, which is to share my thoughts and have an intelligent discussion. If I want to be taken seriously, I need to restrain from making personal attacks.
3. Listening
I find oftentimes that I "speed-read" through what someone has written, if I am in a heated debate with them. This is the most terrible mistake I make when participating in a heated discussion. I "assume" that i know what they are going to say, then make a response based on that "assumption" only to find out that i completely misconstrued what they were saying. Before long, we're both arguing about things that neither of us said. This again all boils down to respect. If they took the time to write it, I need to be respectful enough to read and understand. Saying things such as "did I understand you correctly?" or "...if I understood you correctly" seem to go a long ways in establishing communication and actually having a meaningful conversation. Being quick to listen and slow to respond is always a good policy!
Those are just some thoughts that I had on the subject.
AshtonFirefly has said it so eloquently. I agree. Think about what the person is saying, try to understand it, then respond calmly. Go into the forums with the attitude of agreeing to disagreeing. There is nothing wrong with a heated discussion, but we should not personally attack each other. We don't have to like or even respect what someone says, but we can listen and learn and walk away if we have to in the end.
I have stayed away from the forums for the most part. I saw your question on the right side of a question I was answering. This is an issue hubbers need to consider. Thanks for bringing it up.
I agree with the others on this, 100%!!!
But the problem is, every time I suggest it on a forum thread, it usually gets ignored, lol.
AshtonFirefly made some excellent points, and I wish more people would heed this advice!I pause when agitated and ask myself, "What would JA do?"
Jane Austen- Arlene V. Pomaposted 11 years ago
0My father always told me that it is sometimes better to be happy than to be right. I understand exactly what you mean. That's the reason why I rarely visit the Religion or Politics forums. The way people talk to each other in those forums REALLY push my buttons!
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