The Abortion Debate and Cotraception for Minors

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   Nicole Winterposted 12 years ago

   Remaining celibate for the sake of remaining celibate until you're married has nothing to do with religion?  Really?  I've already been married, once, it was to a man I was dating from the time I was 18 until the time that I had my daughter.  (She's 10 now.)  We got married just after I got pregnant with her, (she was planned,) and were separated before she turned 2.
   
   So, basically Kathryn, you're telling me, the woman who is planning her dream wedding to the man she loves more than anything in the world that our wedding & honeymoon is going to be "worthless" because we didn't wait?
   
   What a crock.
   
   Also... Seriously?  Your kids didn't have sex until they were in their mid-twenties?  What the...uh...no, seriously, WTF?

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      gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Totally agree with you Nicole.   The idea of waiting until marriage to indulge in sex is quite fantastical indeed.   Sex is a natural urge and activitity to be induged in responsibly.    One can indulge in responsible premarital sex. with the use of contraception.         
      
      The idea that one has to wait for marriage to have sex is so 1950s to early 1960s.    While I do not believe that teenagers should have sex because of the virtue of their youth.   By the virtue of their youth, they do not know the judicious use of contraception and how their bodies work.   I advocate waiting until one reaches the very late teens and/or 20s to start indulging in responsible sex.    By that time, hopefully, the young person is knowledgable about contraception and how his/her body works. 
      
      The 20s should be a time of sexual experimenation and adventure.      The time for settling down and/or being serious in a relationships should be when one reaches his/her late 20s and/or early 30s.   The 20s should be a time for lifestyle freedom and fun.    That is all I have to say in this matter.

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2. 61

   Nicole Winterposted 12 years ago

   If nothing else, (and I started having sex a lot younger than most people, I understand that,) I feel like the experiences I've had helped shape me not only into a person who understands what it takes to build successful relationships, but that it's OK to be selfish about my needs as long as I'm giving about my partners needs. 
   
   Maybe it's a misconception on my part, but a lot of the relationships I've seen where women wait until marriage to have sex seem rather sexually unfulfilling.  Again, we move back into the 1940's -early 1960's "lady" concept of women not being given permission to enjoy sex.  (Like it's a man's right to give permission.)
   
   Honestly, power to the people who can make it until their wedding night, but I prefer being able to make my own choices in terms of expressing my sexuality. 
   
   I cannot imagine coercing, threatening and lecturing my child about not having sex before marriage.  The idea that I would try to limit her, sexually, seems stunting to me, as long as she's of an age where she can reasonably discuss these things with me & capable of using condoms in a responsible manner, as far as I'm concerned her sexuality is her business.  As an unmarried woman who has had sex for years & currently lives with her fiance, it also strikes me as hypocritical to do so.
   
   I did some stupid things in my twenties.  The idea that I would have been married, having a child and playing the good "wifey" role at that age isn't only mind-boggling, it's frightening!

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      gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Nicole, I staunchly believe that people must test the sexual waters so to speak in order to find a person that they are compatible with in every way.   So many young women waited until they were married to have sex but with great regrets.     I believe that the premise that one must wait until marriage to have sex is one of the most #$%^&@! premises around.   No right thinking, educated, and/or intelligent person does THAT anymore!    The more one test the sexual waters, the better off he/she is in the long run, somewhere you will find the right person or persons.    Waiting until marriage to have sex is just trying on the first pair of shoes and purchasing them- only to find out that the shoes were later quite uncomfortable!

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