Just Out of Curiosity …

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   Jacqueline4390posted 9 years ago

   Just out of curiosity—why is it that some people think that it is okay to insult another person when answering a question. I asked the question if violence is ever justifiable and one man called me everything but a moron. He said I was naïve and unlearned. I immediately closed the topic and deleted it. I am so upset that I am considering leaving HubPages. I will never ever submit another question again!

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      TIMETRAVELER2posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I am sorry this happened to you, but don't blame the whole site because one person was ignorant and rude.  Unfortunately, some people are just mean, but the majority of people here are wonderful.  When people do things like that, you should report them to the team because that type of behavior is unacceptable here and that person can be banned for it.  Sorry you closed the topic because now you can't report him or her and they will do it again to somebody else.

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         Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for your comment but it was just so hurtful that I couldn't even bare to look at it!

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      DJ Andersonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Jacqueline,  I am so sorry that you have had to deal with such a negative person here on HP.  Most of us are kind, fun loving and not argumentative.
      Can you simply 'deny' a comment like in a hub comment?
      I would find that 'deny button' and just go right on with your question and gathering answers.  Sadly, there are a few people who are not as nice as others.  Avoidance can be your sword against negativity.
      Wait a day or two and renew your strength and conviction.
      You will be fine.
      Blessings to you, my dear,
      DJ.

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         Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks ... I really appreciate that. When I was younger ... things didn't bother me as much as they do now. I was having such a nice time interacting with people. Its nice especially on cold nights :-)

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      Deborah Sextonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      They've called me everything but Deborah at times.
      Don't let them make you leave..anyone calling you names is what they call you.
      Report the person for personal attack, you don't have to put up with that

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         Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks Deborah for your comments. I appreciate them very much. I guess I just can't get used to people who have no consideration for others whether in person or online. I understand that people have a right to their own opinion but I feel that when that right violates the feels of another person then there is a problem. I felt it was just easier to delete the question than go through the channels.

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         Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I would *never call you that!

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            Deborah Sextonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Please don't ever call me that
            oh wait, that's my name..

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            Deborah Sextonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Why did your parents name you Sed-me ?

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               Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

               They didn't. They named me Beth and I said, "You're not calling me Beth!" And they said, "Says you!" And I said, "SED ME!" And then we went to the circus.

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      Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Holy cow, don't let him ruin something you enjoy! You have made yourself heard now, and no one can take that from you. You were treated unkindly, but brush his comments off your shoulder like dandruff and live to share another comment!

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         Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         It's really nice to know that there are still some wonderful people out there. Thanks to all of you who have made my day! It does make a difference!

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            Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            When you work with the public, you are shocked to find how many *nasty ppl are out there. And then one kind person comes by and says something sweet and you're like, "I forgot you still existed." It's a wonderful thing to do... to be a little, tiny light in someones day. Don't let a meanie steal your joy or the positive outlook you might be able to offer someone else.

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               Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

               You really are right, there. I worked in CS when I worked for the IRS and there were plenty of nasty's that thought I was the enemy. Once in a while someone really appreciated my efforts. Now that I work for myself; I am really learning how wonderful the right people can be. Keep up the good work!

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                  Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  Ay yi yi! CS for the IRS!? lol
                  That's like saying you were Jeffrey Dahmer's personal chef.
                  I can't imagine what you had to put up with. No wonder you've had enough.
                  I got your back! If anybody's mean to you, just tell me and I'll get myself banned on your behalf.
                  You need some kind of crown for having survived that... we have several forum queens this year. Maybe they'll share their crown with you.

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                     Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                     Love You!!! Yes, for years I put up with all kinds of insults. I ended up in the emergency room one week after Easter because of stress and too many BC powders for headaches! I am still recovering two years later! Took an early retirement.

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                        Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                        Aw, Im truly sorry, and I understand. Ppl just don't understand what their flippant outbursts and momentary hateful words do to ppl who are told to smile and nod. I wish you a full and quick recovery!

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                           Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                           Thanks ... I still bulk at the harsh words of others. I try so hard to see everyone's point of view (Natural Affliction) until I've become mush! Guess I need to visit "Mr. Potter" from "It's A Wonderful Life" to learn some tough-guy lessons!

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                              Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                              Maybe you just need to hear a few sweet words.
                              Write yourself a letter... make it a hub... say out loud all the things you've needed to hear over the years.
                              It's kind of personal, but it might help others who need to learn to be the positive voice in their own ear. Some of us are quite content to bruise ourselves, but slow to pat ourselves on the back.

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                                 Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                                 This is so true. But the minute I do this; someone would write something unkind and even my picture would stop smiling ...hahahahahaha!

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                                    Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                                    lol... Im gonna pray that you would be given some time to be built up instead of torn down.

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                                    Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                                    Is this song cheesy? I don't care, I love it.
                                    This song's for you Jacqueline!
                                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUQsqBqxoR4

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                                       Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                                       That is so very Cool! I want to see Me be Brave! Oh yeah!

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                                          Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                                          Yeah, I like it too. Speaks to me.

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                                             Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                                             I almost got up and dance but I didn't want to knock over my laptop. Laptop on the right and Desktop in front of me. The Muppets Christmas Carol is blasting on the tube and I am feeling about 16!

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                                                Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                                                Then I am free to use this saying... it is old, but to be honest, we haven't improved on it in 15 years.
                                                You da bomb girl!

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                                                   Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                                                   Back at you ... I carry the Christmas Spirit around and it's a wonderful feeling! Despite everything ... hurrah for life!

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                                                      Sed-meposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                                                      Aw, you're full of life... good for you. Pass it around, it will do us all a lot of good. Merry Christmas Jacqueline.

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                                                         Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                                                         Merry Christmas to you as well, Sed-me! I am going to finish watching my movie and maybe one of The Walton's Christmas DVDs. I am going to close down early today! If I don't holler at you later, you have a simply wonderful day!
                                                         
                                                         See Ya!

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                              bBereanposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                              Caught a few minutes of that the other day.  He was trying to get the cop and cabbie to remember him.  Bert, Earnie! He exclaimed.  Hey, wait.  Is that were the inspiration came from?

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   Kiss andTalesposted 9 years ago

   Did you violate hub-pages rules by asking? There is a post a reply and a what is on your mind. Your right to ask is welcome . His right to reply was also welcome . But it can be hub-pages right to exercise their Authority if a person goes to far.
   Really you must have hit a nerve, you did nothing wrong even though you got bad feed back. Here we can wear our feelings on our shoulders because there are always people ready to knock them off.
   Speak the truth, share your experience , and you just might help more people then that one who was offensive.

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      Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      No, I didn't violate anything. I try to be a very polite person whether I agree or not but sometimes someone can say something so unexpectedly rude that it hurts. Normally, I try not to get upset but whenever I am called naïve and stupid it doesn't actually goes down well.

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         Kiss andTalesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         Yes many have their stories just like you and we have moved on and notice the regulars . You also have a right to just ignore the insults, your purpose and posting can be good for many !  So do not stop.

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      Deborah Sextonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      What are you saying anyway?
      We wear our feelings on our shoulders ? I've never heard that one.
      I've heard we wear our emotions on our sleeves.
      I've never heard of knocking feelings off ? our shoulder ?, but I've heard the term chip
      
      I don't think the other person was welcome to say what they said

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   jennshealthstoreposted 9 years ago

   You should not let something someone else said stop you from asking a question. For some reason, people feel the need to fight and argue or be disrespectful. If you take your question down because of that they are winning. Just ignore those people and continue to write and ask questions. I would. Good luck! : )

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      Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I know you are right but I am just not going to accept being insulted. I did nothing wrong. My question stated that there are other ways to resolve disagreements other than with violence. I was given a lesson on World War II and well ... I just don't need this.

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   Arachneaposted 9 years ago

   It's too bad you deleted the "evidence." You do have the right to report any behavior on HP that violates the standards upheld by the rules. This, as I'm told, will get the attention of a moderator, who will then address the issue as is appropriate.

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   LuisEGonzalezposted 9 years ago

   An idiot like that deserves just one answer................................
   
   
   
   

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      Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      You made me smile. I wish I could be as tough as some of you guys! I used to be but I wanted my older years to be lighthearted and well friendly. Gee, its the holiday season!

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   gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

   Thank you Mr. Gonzalez, there are always going to be haters and negaters.  Don't let these unevolved souls stop one from expressing his/her light.   IGNORE and EXPRESS YOURSELF REGARDLESS!

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      Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      You guys are just wonderful! It has been a long time since I've had to put on boxing gloves! It just looks like there should be somewhere that you can write nice stimulating comments ... have an enjoyable time conversing with people around the country ... without a battle royal. Isn't there enough violence without bring it here?
      
      I think I need a hot cocoa.

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   colorfuloneposted 9 years ago

   It is an open ended question to ask "if violence is ever justifiable". 
   
   I take it you do not believe violence is ever justifiable? 
   
   Anyway, that would be a good question to ask if someone likes getting into a debate. 
   
   People can debate tough topics, but they should learn how to do it respectfully.
   
   I do not like debates personally.

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      Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Yep ... I thought it would make a really good topic for discussion. I didn't know I was going to get a lecture on Hitler and the Japanese bombing Pearl Harbor. I just wanted to know if violence was ever justifiable. I said that it would seem that rational people should be able to settle disputes without killing and destroying. But asking something in the Q & A for me was like giving a two year old an automatic rifle!

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         Kiss andTalesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I am sorry I missed your question . Because most know I will answer most questions but I do totally rely that the answers are in God's word the bible.
         Now that I have an opportunity I will reply my answer here.
         New World Translation Ps 11:5 Jehovah examines the righteous one as well as the wicked one; He hates anyone who loves violence.
         So we do not want to be hated by the one who grants us life everyday. Or who can return life in the near future.
         New World Translation Mt 5:9 “Happy are the peacemakers, since they will be called sons of God.
         We will always keep living as the children of God.

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            Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Yes ... very good because I quoted that exact same scripture along with "Vengeance is mine said the Lord." Then I just became really upset and deleted the question. During Old Testament time there was a lot of violence but when the New Testament came into being it was grace and mercy.

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   Jodahposted 9 years ago

   ..and I was just about to start a thread saying that the forums and questions had been much more civil lately.  Looks like I have to take that back, maybe I've just been subconsciously careful of the ones I have joined. sorry to hear about that bad experience Jacqueline.

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      Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, not only did it affect my disposition but I went down from 95 to 91 in score after deleting the question. Not only do I not understand how rude people can be but this scoring is crazy as well. Am I just suppose to "suck it up?"

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         mary615posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I can't believe your score would go down because you deleted your question!  I don't blame you for being hurt about this, I would have been hurt, too.  Couldn't you just delete his answer??

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            Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            I think my hormones were at an all time high. I know that is exactly what I should have done but I didn't want to "open the door" to more verbal abuse :-)

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            Deborah Sextonposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Your score is affected when you post on forums, so naturally if you delete a thread, it could lower your score
            We can't delete another person's comment

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   ShirleyJCJohnsonposted 9 years ago

   I'm hoping I'm not too late to join this conversation.  People have it within themselves to love or to hate.  It's a God given free will choice.  Is one choice better than the other.  That should be obvious.  But, because of our free will, and because some people feel they get more out of it than if they chose some other attitude, hate will always dominate in a sinful world.  It doesn't make it right, and it certainly doesn't make it easy.  Even in my home, there is a constant struggle between these two emotions and feelings.  I have four children (ages 7, 11, 13 and 16) and it's a real battle someday to teach them how to show love to each other.  But, learn they must, otherwise, they end up like the man who spouted nothing but hatred to you.  What is it within him that makes him feel like hatred or hateful words would be an appropriate response?  Was he abused as a child?  Did he grow up with siblings who despised him?  Was there someone in the workforce when he first started the workforce who show contempt for him?  What is under the surface of the deepest part of his being that would give him the power to share hatred?  We may never know.  And the heart is not our to judge; but, to love.  When we gather as one and love a person, we are breaking strongholds and pulling people out of pits.  I'm sorry that something like this happens to good people, I'm even more sorry that it happened to someone of your obvious integrity and character.  I don't think I'm overstepping a bound when I say I think you are a noteworthy person who deserves all the love that a community can give to her.  I certainly send my own love your way.  And I hope I have made another friend today.

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      Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, Shirley ... your response is right on time. It's so true and its so unfortunate that there are such people in the world. I guess its true that misery loves company but so does joy :-)

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    PurvisBobbi44posted 9 years ago

    Hi Dear,
    Just Rise Above It---that is what I do and tell everyone else to do. Remember, the school yard saying,"Sticks and Stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." If anyone wants to act like a child send them this little message. Don't let stupid people control what you do. Have a happy Thanksgiving and come back writing---we do not want you to leave. Bobbi Purvis

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       Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks, Bobbi I really appreciate you and some of the other wonderful people here. It sure would be great if there were more caring people like that. I'm trying to do just what you say and write. You guys ROCK!

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    jansharesposted 9 years ago

    Sorry to hear that, Jacqueline. It happens every now and then in the forums. I've felt it, too, but tried to rise above it by responding nicely or ignoring it altogether. I admit it can be hurtful especially when you were misinterpreted or scolded for the most minor thing. I hope your hurt heals soon and you stay at HP. You're an excellent writer and good spirit. Don't internalize someone else's negativity. Peace and blessings to you.

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       Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks Jan ... you always know what to say to brighten a day! I will really take that into consideration! You have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

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    gmwilliamsposted 9 years ago

    @janshares, totally agree.  I, too, felt the negativity.  So BE it!  I am going to say what I am going to say. Like it, fine; don't like it, so what!

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