Who Shoulders the Greatest Burden: Parents or Teachers?

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   Jacqueline4390posted 9 years ago

   Without a doubt, parents have a strong influence on their children. They are the first faces they see in the morning and the last faces they see at night. However, this doesn’t by no means minimize the influence teachers possess as well. Some instructors spend more waking hours with children than do their parents. Whether it’s because of job commitments, divorce/separation issues or other children; it can sometimes be considered a premium when the whole family gets together for quality time.
   
   Therefore, who shoulders the greatest burden: Parents or Teachers?

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   1. 82

      Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I have had students in the past come to me to discuss personal matters that they felt their parents wouldn't have a receptive ear. Trust is very important to young people and once gain they respond in very positive ways.

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   2. 60

      cjhunsingerposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Having raised four sons to be responsible and productive adults  and  looking back to my upbringing, without  question it is the parents who should shoulder the responsibility and the authority.
      
      Sadly, in many respects, today is not yesterday and to many parents today are, themselves, still children due to drug use or the overall lack of expectation of society to mature. And that such a question should be asked exemplifies the idea that government knows best and that is a fallacy in itself.
      
      As for teachers, and I am sure there are still those who are  professional, that the US is now, essentially ranked as a third world nation academically does not speak well to any idea that a teacher is best suited to provide any good advice to a child. Weekly, there are reports of teachers molesting and raping their students, so I would say that we have a problem.
      
      So many things are at play here, from drugs to the dismantling of the family unit, the horrendous out of wedlock birth rate, the emasculation of the male,  the intrusion of government into the family,  This would be an interesting thread to follow.
      
      Perhaps, the question should be, How do we define society?

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         Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         My question is just for discussion only.
         
         Of course parents are the authority when it comes to responsibility of their offspring. It is sad when, as you stated, the children become "parents" far too early but then one would ask the question ... why is this so? Asking this question by no means suggest that "the government knows best" and I am highly insulted that anyone would insinuate such a connection when it comes to raising of offspring.
         
         The purpose of forums, I thought was to stimulate interest and get people to thinking. The sharing of opinions and the enlightening of information and not to create innuendos. To do otherwise is presumptuous.

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            cjhunsingerposted 9 years agoin reply to this

            Jacqueline
            Your question was, "Who Shoulders the Greatest Burden: Parents or Teachers? Teachers are representatives of the government and the unions, so I would think that any comment addressing that is appropriate. That you feel insulted is by your own invention.

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            1. 82

               Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

               So are teachers of private or parochial schools government representatives as well? Are daycare teachers union reps? I did not limit "teachers" to city or county schools. My question said "teachers." The picture shows a teacher and a student but they do have classrooms in the private sector as well. Catholic schools have classrooms.

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                  cjhunsingerposted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  Jacqueline
                  Your question was open and made no distinction or qualification. Now you wish to qualify. Perhaps, the problem is yours.

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   3. 60

      MonkeyShine75posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Even working parents spend more time with their children than do teachers. I lost my mom when I was 10, and believe me, the teachers played only a small part in my life. My brother, sisters, and especially my father are the ones who influenced me, and it wasn't a burden to them
      I don't know how many people will agree with you that teachers have the biggest influence on their children, but I'm sure it will be a small percentage, if any

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      1. 82

         Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

         I lost my mother to Cancer when I was 13. My father was 61 at the time and knew nothing about taking care of a daughter. He was a great father but he just didn't know anything about girls so he worked and worked and worked. My siblings were adults at the time. One was in Arizona another in Chicago and another in a Mental Institution.
         
         I went to a school where teachers were quite different, thank God. They were not just instructors but were a part of the community. They not only taught subject-matter but self respect and community pride. We were not "bused" to school but went to neighborhood schools. Even when I attend private kindergarten, the teachers were very caring. I wasted my milk on the way to kindergarten class (which was in walking distance) but by lunch time I had a full thermos of milk. Indeed times have changed but not for the better. If it had not been for caring teachers, counselors and church members my fate would have been similar to many others who died young.
         
         Even before mom died ... when I had to miss school because of illness; my teachers sent books home so that I could keep up with studies. People today who are teachers that I associate with go out of their way to volunteer their services by keeping the little ones so the parents can enjoy the services at my church. I just suppose that I have been around teachers who were different.

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            MonkeyShine75posted 9 years agoin reply to this

            First I'd like to say I'm sorry you lost your mom, because I think that's the worst thing that can happen to a young girl.
            My teachers were good teachers, but my family just played a bigger role in my life than they did.
            I also didn't want anything from them outside of the education I was getting, and they didn't offer

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            1. 82

               Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

               My family has been (and still is) a most peculiar bunch. My brother subjected me to such atrocities as a child  that I can never mention and it has only been in recent years that I have been able to truly forgive and forget. My ex-husband was a constant critic and could only see the negative in me. Still, it hasn't made me bitter nor stopped me from seeing both sides of any situation. For through those experiences I have become a much wiser and understanding person.
               
               Had I possessed a normal teen life; I would be able to express "normal" opinions but since it took a "tribe to raise a child" in my case; many (both black and white) have influenced me in both positive and negative ways.
               
               Surely, parents must shoulder the greatest burden ... but they don't always! Sometimes they die and leave you ...

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                  MonkeyShine75posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                  I'm not married, and plan to finish my education, and begin my career before I even give thought to it
                  Anytime I've socialized it's been with friends on campus. We have a lot of social activities in our dorm house.
                  Everyone leaves their doors open on special occasions, so that we all socialize with everyone in our dorm house, (like dinners, parties etc)  but I don't date. Since I don't plan to get serious with anyone, I see no reason to tempt myself, or anyone else.
                  I'm sorry your husband treated you badly, and you have divorced. (you've got to ask yourself why he treated you that way, and why you chose him)  Ask yourself what you liked about him in the first place?
                  It should tell you a lot about yourself

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                  1. 82

                     Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

                     Actually, I didn't really like him. I felt sorry for him because he was such a momma's boy. It was his jealousy regarding my education, independence and looks that made him  insecure in our marriage. He was never physically abusive; just a constant complainer. I divorced him and we get along fine now. His mother died and he had to grow up.
                     
                     I don't make the same mistake twice so I have enjoyed a single life mentoring others and writing inspirational notes for my Facebook pals. I am happier now than ever in my life! My children and I get along very well and I am active in my church. I understand when younger people come to me with their problems and I am enjoying the freedom of being able to write and share.

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      bBereanposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Who does varies on a case by case basis.  Who should or in other words who is accountable for the responsibility is clearly the parents.  Teachers would only have the ability to wield over riding influence in the case of ineffective parenting.  There are many reasons why the parenting may be ineffective, but that it is so is prerequisite to a teacher getting that opportunity.

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   Lisa HWposted 9 years ago

   It surprises me that anyone would even consider comparing teachers and parents, as if the two are on even ground when it comes to children and their parents.  Teachers, like a lot of other adults in kids' lives, play a role (and hopefully, they'll play it well).   They aren't in the "same league" with parents, whether those parents are good ones, bad ones, or in-between ones.  There's not one "burden".  There are a number of different responsibilities/roles when it comes to children. 
   
   Ideally, a child would have at least one really good, capable, loving, parent (two is even better) who knows how to send a school-readyj child into preschool/kindergarten.  Ideally, that child wouldn't run into too big of a loser of teacher in those early school years (because that can do some real damage).  With older kids, inferior, mediocre, or problematic teachers can't do as much damage.
   
   Ideally, the school system would make good and sure that it hired only excellent teachers with a solid understanding of, and respect for, children (and their relationship with their parents).  As far as education is concerned, I'd say that the school system shoulders the burden in that "department"..  Ideally, parents would know how to pick up the slack that school system can't/doesn't provide their child.  Well, more "ideally", there wouldn't be any slack at all.
   
   As far as I'm concerned, if a young child asks the teacher about personal matters the teacher should direct the child to the school counselor and someone should pay attention to why a young child can't talk to his/her parent(s).    In other words, that situation should bring warning flags that the matter if more than any teacher should be trying to involve himself with.  With older kids, I think being directed to the school counselor is also the thing to do.   The difference (older kids having the issues that they do, regardless of how "ideal" their parents may be), to me, is that it wouldn't automatically be a warning sign that something is "off" between the student and parent(s).  As far as I'm concerned, teachers shouldn't be involving themselves (or allowed to be involved with) anything other than the job they have to do - which is to teach (and yes, sometimes find that some students are harder to teach than others - but again, have someone else attempt to get to the root of, and address, that child's problem.

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   1. 82

      Jacqueline4390posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Do not be shocked. There are parents who have not only been abusive  to children but have caused their demise. Yes, there are some great parents but when there have been so many destructive young people who have committed violent crimes against others as well as against themselves it does make me wonder.
      
      The environment some children are subjected to is horrible. Some teacher have visited the homes of these students and as a result the children were removed for safety sake. Cinderalla's environment is not a fairy tale to many. Some stories will never surface. So yes, I can make the comparison because I have seen the results first hand. I did not experience it but I lived next door to a woman who had child after child and the children were happy to be at school away from her.

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   Kathryn L Hillposted 9 years ago

   Dear (NO) MonkeyShine(s.)
   What a wise course you are taking.
   I know someone who must pick up her daughter's child every day from day care.
   No Husband/Dad.
   The daughter lives at home and is raising her child with the grandparent's influence. I don't really approve of the grandparent's influence. They yell, swear and cuss in front of the two year old. Luckily the child does go elsewhere during the day. I am hoping the school is a more positive environment.
   
   Her day care teacher's daughter just got pregnant at 24. The teacher told me her daughter was "acting out" because she, (the teacher,) just got divorced from her husband and he is dating a woman who her daughter does not approve of.
   
   What chaos these people are allowing into the world.
   
   I am glad you are not adding to it.

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      MonkeyShine75posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      What a mess !
      No I won't allow that to happen to me, or a child.
      I’m marathoning now so there's no time or desire to date, or have kids
      Thank you for sharing, it helps to see where we could be if we make bad choices

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