I'd like feedback on my Hub: Arthritis Gadget Reviews

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  1. Arthritis Gadgets profile image60
    Arthritis Gadgetsposted 8 years ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Arthritis Gadget Reviews (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

    1. Marisa Wright profile image85
      Marisa Wrightposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      The title of the Hub is "arthritis gadgets" but you review only one gadget.  As a result, the Hub has very little "meat" - and could be seen as misleading.

      I'd say you need to feature two or three gadgets.  And always put some of the description of the product INSIDE the Amazon capsule. 

      Consider that when a reader arrives at your Hub, they only see the top part of the Hub.  You need to give them a reason to scroll down!  Right now, the opening of your Hub is a waffle about arthritis in general and your mother in particular.  That's not what people are looking for - the kind of people who will find this Hub already know about arthritis - that's why they're looking for gadgets!!  So cut to the chase - I would open the Hub talking about the specific challenges facing arthritis sufferers, so you can then present the gadgets to solve those problems.

    2. MariaMontgomery profile image91
      MariaMontgomeryposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Hi, Don.  I am a professional grant writer, and previously edited medical and scientific journal articles. Although hubs are not as professional as those things, good grammar, punctuation, and spelling are a must. Here's what I have to offer:

      The title itself, "Arthritis Gadget Reviews" tell the reader there is one gadget, but more than one review. Actually there is only one review -- yours, which is as it should be, but the title should state that. Because your screen name is Arthritis Gadgets, you might want to change the hub title to the name of the product you are reviewing.

      Additionally, there are several other types of things that could be changed to improve the hub:

      The first one is probably a result of the annoying spell correction:  deliberating disease near the beginning of the hub should be debilitating disease.

      The word "mom" should not be capitalized when saying, "my mom". If you are saying, "Mom said", or "Mom did this or that", or speaking directly to her, then it should be capitalized. The same is true of guacamole and occupational therapist farther down in the hub.

      There are 2 or 3 sentences that are without a period at the end.

      There is a dangling sentence: "One of the best gifts I have ever given her."  This is not a complete sentence. A complete sentence must have a subject and a verb.

      There should never be a one-sentence paragraph. The sentence: "The first ... i discovered for mom was the Masha" stands alone. If it was intended as an intro to the ad below, it should end with a colon. If it was intended as a title for the ad, all words in that sentence should be capitalized. Otherwise, it could be pulled up into the preceding paragraph that ends with the word "doable", and at this time, needs a period at the end.

      You didn't go to a medical supplies store. You went to a medical supply store (same the store that sells office supplies is an office supply store.

      At the beginning, and of less importance is the word "doctors". Millions of people don't see their doctor. They see their doctors.

      I hope this helps.

      1. ronbergeron profile image85
        ronbergeronposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        That's some good, detailed feedback!

  2. erorantes profile image49
    erorantesposted 8 years ago

    I like your hub. Using different gadgets when someone has an arthritis; it is a good idea. Your hub needs extra pictures. Do not forget to check your grammar. You need to read the hub pages requirements to have success in your hub. Good luck with your hub. I am looking forward reading your finish hub.

  3. LynetteBell profile image77
    LynetteBellposted 8 years ago

    Perhaps you could explain the different types of arthritis there are and the one that affects your mother.  Good luck

  4. psycheskinner profile image82
    psycheskinnerposted 8 years ago

    Your hub is half about arthritis, and half about a potato masher than is not specifically designed with arthritis in mind.  I think you either need to discuss how gadgets (several of them) can help people with mild to moderate arthritis, or just make this a review of the product and the arthritis angle a side-note.

  5. Arthritis Gadgets profile image60
    Arthritis Gadgetsposted 8 years ago

    Hi Everyone,

    Thank you so much !

    I'm overwhelmed by the response. So much great insight, it is really appreciated. Everyone is so positive. What a great group.

    I will try to apply this feedback to my posts and prove myself worthy.

    Once again, thank you.

    cheers
    Don

 
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