Hi I am new. Please help me with my article?

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   JezebelSnoposted 6 years ago

   https://hubpages.com/relationships/Befo … sivelittle
   
   Hi, it is great to meet you.
   I am brand new here and I know that I can always learn something new.
   Please give me input on my article on how to make it better. I know the topic is not for everybody, but I thought that with Mr. Grey being so popular the topic would be OK.
   
   Thank you so much.

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      TessSchlesingerposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi,
      
      You have some grammar issues. For example...
      
      "They will only want sex, they are not interested in a relationship, so they will say and do anything to get you to have sex and that is the last time you will see them."
      
      There is a period between the words sex and they. Those are essentially two sentences. This is called a run-on sentence if you would like to google it.
      
      "70 out of 100 of the people won’t be compatible with your likes and dislikes, needs/wants and/or fetishes..." Never start a sentence with a number in figures. Write it out.
      
      Sometimes you have a line between paragraphs and other times you don't. Make it consistent.
      
      Do  not use capital letters as in "then this won’t bother you. Just PLEASE make sure." It is not grammatically correct.
      
      Use the oxford comma. "I have had a long-distance relationship with a pet that I loved, cherished and protected." The rule is that you put a comma after the word that precedes 'and.' Google oxford comma..
      
      In one of your callouts, you say, "Never ever ever get involved in any form of BDSM play if under of the influence of alcohol or drugs!!!"  Your second of should be 'or.'
      
      Your sentence "So you have a protector and someone sends you a message … now what?"
      
      The rules is that if you are using a conjunction (and, but, etc.), then there is a comma before the and if there is a subject in the sentence and not a comma if there is no subject. In this particular sentence, there should be a comma because the subject in your sentence is 'someone.'  Also, in your use of ellipsis, you have a space before the elipsis (three dots) start. There should be no space. Ellipsis also act as the end of the sentence, so the words 'now what' should be a new sentence. Therefore Now starts with a capital N. I have an article on the use of ellipsis on hubpages. You might like to look at it.
      
      "You have read through the person’s profile, you and him/her have made the first contact via messaging via Fetlife, you asked Him/Her to contact your protector and He/She did and now you want to take the next step." Run-on sentence. Use periods.
      
      "Start online and when you feel safe, move to email." Comma after the word 'online' because the sentence after the conjunction has a subject.
      
      Otherwise, fascinating article. Good luck.

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         JezebelSnoposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you so much for your help!
         I have followed all your guidelines and will definitely read your articles.
         You have a new fan!

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   pen promulgatesposted 6 years ago

   Hey Jezebel,
   I doubt if HP allows writing on such adult content.
   Your article is not vulgar and it only gives good insight about this fetish people have.
   You can use more text capsules than call outs.
   Your writing is missing punctuation throughout. There are many long sentences.
   Images must be legal to use.

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      JezebelSnoposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so very much for the feedback!
      I will make the changes you have suggested.
      All images are of me or designed by me or play toys I made, so it's all legal.

      replyreport
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   theraggededgeposted 6 years ago

   Hi, welcome,
   
   These are the HubPages guidelines on adult content:
   
   https://hubpages.com/faq/#adult_topics
   
   and more detail here:
   
   https://hubpageshelp.com/standards/Lear … d_22732505
   
   Note that ads will be probably be disabled, even if the hub is approved, meaning that it won't earn anything.

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      TessSchlesingerposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I'm curious. Clearly the article is featured, so what do you mean it's not allowed?

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         theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         Where did I say it's not allowed? I'm just repeating what HP says, that ads will likely be disabled because the hub goes against Adsense policies.

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            TessSchlesingerposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Oh. Okay. Sorry, I misunderstood you.

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   Sustainable Sueposted 6 years ago

   Also, if you capitalize the Him/Her in one place, you need to capitalize it each time you use it - like in the Fetlife paragraph quoted above by TessSchlesinger.

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      TessSchlesingerposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Oops, I missed that.

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   JezebelSnoposted 6 years ago

   Thank you so much for everyone's help.
   This subject is very dear to my heart and I believe education equals safety.

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      Marketing Meritposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      You should also remove the link to your Facebook page/profile as that is not essential for the article and will probably be classed as self-promotion.

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         TessSchlesingerposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         I agree.

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