Should I avoid my cousins who molested me?

1. 57

   simsmarie1988posted 14 years ago

   Should I avoid my cousins who molested me?
   
   From the ages of 4 to 7 my cousins (2) who are about a decade older then my had sex with me many times. My family moved away from them. My parents never knew for a long time. When I was having some teenage issues and blurted it out and they didn't believe me. Last summer, I went camping with that whole side of my family. It was weird for me. Only one of them were there and I played cards with him. He just looked at me like nothing happened. I think I should drop the whole thing and never mention it again. Why stir things up...

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2. 83

   SweetiePieposted 14 years ago

   Yes.  The cousin is not worth your time of day.

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3. 62

   Jersey Jessposted 14 years ago

   Don't bother with them, you don't need them.

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4. 71

   relacheposted 14 years ago

   You should file a police report and then get yourself some counseling so that you can heal properly from the experience.

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5. 66

   karmicfillyposted 14 years ago

   As someone who has been in your situation I would have to say it is up to you.  What do you want?  Most times when this happens it has nothing to do with sex.  They either were molested or something else traumatic was happening to them.  My brothers that molested me where being beaten frequently by my father who also beat me.
   
   It was about power and control and happened to manifest as a sexual act.  They too denied it and when I brought it up to the whole family I was disowned. 
   
   Granted I have a much better life without all the dysfunction from having them in my life but I do tend to miss having a family occasionally.  I am concerned that they may try this with another young girl out there if this is a sexual addiction.
   
   You be the judge, search your heart.  Find a counselor who can help you walk threw this.  You really need to process this cause it will keep coming up in every relationship you have until you have processed and grieved this. 
   
   I am sorry you have to experience this but you are not alone, there are millions of us out here.

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6. 0

   reeltaulkposted 14 years ago

   you should heal yourself first, if not fully heal, get to the place where you feel comfortable speaking with both of your cousins regarding what happened.  Regardless of if they are mature enough to sit down and talk about it for healing purposes, make sure you vent that which you have to.  It is part of the healing process and it will definitely benefit you in the long run

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7. 60

   msoon77posted 13 years ago

   A friend of mine (aged 24 now), also had the same thing happen to her but she was 13 at the time. Her uncle did the same thing but he told her not to mention it to her parents.
   
   She's not said anything till this day but she replays the incident in her head now and again. I guess this sorta thing sticks with you for years if you don't deal with it early on.

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8. 57

   mppomperposted 12 years ago

   It's a tough call. My first reaction was to tell you, as one person already did, was to go to the police and file a report. However and unfortunately, with this amount of time passed, it could be a he said, she said kind of outcome and you have to consider the reaction of your family and if they are worth keeping around.
   
   If you feel no one believes you, and the cousins would just deny it anyway, are they really worth having around?
   
   Even then, do you want the hassles of rehashing this over again in a court system that may or may not be in your favor and everything you have done of questionable character in the past will be brought up to discredit you.
   
   Your best bet is to follow some of the others advice and seek counseling without any further delay. You will feel better and you will have an impartial person who can guide you in the right direction. But in the end, it has to be what you and only you want.
   
   Take care. I am not a victim, but I have a young daughter and a young son and if this happened to them, I'm afraid I would be in jail for reacting first and asking questions later.

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