Why doesnt my husband love me?

1. 60

   jacquidubeposted 13 years ago

   Why doesnt my husband love me?
   
   My husband does not love me. I know you will probably say he does but I know through his actions he doesnt but why does he want to live with me? I am confused. I have been married for 9 years. He was abusive physically and mentally to me for the first 4 years of our marriage. Its not too bad now. Its noe mental. We have slept separately for 4 years now and he flirts with other women all the time. He never laughs with me but he laughs with other women which makes me sad.

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2. 78

   Mom Katposted 13 years ago

   You can't make another person love you.  If you have suffered from this extent of abuse, you need to look inside yourself to find the strength and understanding that this is not your fault, that you are a good person, and that you are worth so much more than you have been allowing him to treat you.
   Find a support group, a support system with friends and family to help you on your path to gaining self esteem and a better self image.  You don't want this man.  He hasn't and doesn't give you or desire to give you the love, respect, and treatment you need and deserve.
   Only after you have found the strength to love yourself will you be able to have a healthy relationship.

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3. 60

   DStettlerposted 13 years ago

   I am sorry to hear that. It makes me mad when a guy is abusive. I don't know why he does not love you or why he is the way he is. I do wonder why you are still with him though if he has been abusive to you. I am sure you love him or you wouldn't wonder why he doesn't love you or hurt at his actions.

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4. 0

   bluetiger1520posted 13 years ago

   your husband needs you as a fall back plan. you should run as fast as you can.

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5. 77

   Nick Bposted 13 years ago

   I agree with both of my learned colleagues.
   
   I'm probably out of line, but having seen my mother go through several abusive relationships, I can only say that I don't think he's going to change.
   
   My advice, which you can choose to act upon or not, is to get the hell out of there. The abuse is only likely to worsen and whilst you are probably hoping against all hope that he will come round, change or whatever, I don't think this will happen and if it does, the dynamics of the whole relationship will have changed too and you are never going to truly trust him again.
   
   It will hurt for a while, but I hope you will find it cathartic, freeing and liberating too.
   
   It's just my opinion and I apologise if I really am out of line here.

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6. 75

   Sweetsusiegposted 13 years ago

   Please see my Hub, Am I being Abused.  It may answer some questions for you.  You might see that he never really did love you he wanted to own you.  All of this is explained.
   
   Blessings to you.  I hope for your sake this will open your eyes and see that you are a worthwhile person!

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7. 60

   vinividiviciposted 13 years ago

   May be :
   1. He got hurt somehow for some reason
   2. Your level of understanding has lessened
   3. He has some ego problem
   4. Both or you have stubborn mentality
   5. You are not going on vacation for many years

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8. 0

   deepakkumaarrposted 13 years ago

   It is very Difficult to say how your husband will Love you

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9. 58

   rexyposted 13 years ago

   It is really sad how man behave towards the woman that they are meant to love...he is totally wrong in what he is doing......stay strong and it  is good that you talk to people about it.....for it is difficult to live a life like this.......he has his group of people and you should also get out and make friends and be with the people that love you.....be positve and look after yourselve.....you can do better too.....BTW...it is hard to change people especially stubborn man....that will not change their ways.

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