Am I right to feel confused? Should I simply let go and move on? I've been with

1. 53

   DominiqueFranconposted 13 years ago

   Am I right to feel confused? Should I simply let go and move on? I've been with my bf for 2 years
   
   When we began going out he told me I was the one, that he had all this proposal plan. I've escaped a previous engagement and really thought marriage wasn't for me until I met him. It was the first time i felt comfortable and happy about marriage. But 2 years on, he hasn't done anything even though he was the one that opened this pandora box. We had talks about it, he told me his plans didnt go right. Haven't mentioned the topic in a long time but can't stop thinking about it.  Don't trust him anymore and feel he's lying. Getting him to look at apartments with me took an emotional breakdown.

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2. 60

   alenushkaposted 13 years ago

   I think you have the right to feel this emotional "uncertainty"..We women are created to feel peace inside, to be sure about future, our own and our future children.. even if we cannot have them yet, the God created us this way.And all our lives we are looking for this emotional support from them... our best half.. our men... and them... obviously they have been changed a lot for the last couple of hundred years. Less responsibility,they are not able to keep their promises, they are not sure what they want in their lives, they are SCARED of the commitment ...I am in the same shoes... i am not young already... my boyfriend was very "excited" to get married .... first.. then I guess all "fire" disappeared... and now we are just living together..for me it is very painful because i love him and want to be in his life up to the end... but he... maybe I want too much... and it is not about plans...plans has nothing to do with real love.. today you have everything ... tomorrow you can have nothing, broken and miserable... but only people we love and trust will here for us... in happiness and in misery, in health and in sickness... so i would ask myself if I am ready to face one day the sound of the closed door... after he leaves

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3. 53

   DominiqueFranconposted 13 years ago

   Its how I feel. I entered this relationship happily, for the first time in my life I felt I had a future with someone. I've been in 3 previous longterm relationships, the shortest being 2.5 years and the longest 5, but I had never spoken about marriage or spending the rest of my life with them. I was not even sure I believed in marriage until I entered this relationship and to be honest his desire to marry me and all the emotional turmoil that came with it when we started going out made me think about marriage for the first time in my life. A month into our relationship he wanted to go to Vegas to marry me, I turned that down because it was a month into a relationship, It was very enticing and adventorous, and if it had been I would have done it because I know that if anything went wrong afterwards I could divorce, but with him I wanted something special and he agreed after we talked. ANd he then told me to get my suitcases ready for october or november, and when october came, nothing happened and when november came nothing happened then valentines came and he told me he wanted to marry me this year (2010) and 2010 went by, and now I can't stop but think he is fooling me around. And he is so nice, and I adore him to bit. I simply love him, but I can't stop feeling this pain and i want out! I don't want to feel this insecure adn i want to stop thinking about marriage, I gave up my job, i moved towns, i started a business with him, i feel trapped and to be honest its scary, i think i am so foolish.

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4. 68

   Terry.Hirneisenposted 13 years ago

   You need to talk about it.  It is a serious topic so stop wondering and guessing.  Let him explain why the subject has vanished.  You need to be open and truthful and not guess at what is going on.

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5. 61

   venus-mercuryposted 12 years ago

   Hello Dominique,
   
   I am new here! Trust is very important in a relationship. Trust is the foundation along with love and understanding in a relationship. If you don't trust that is your intuition telling giving you your answer, Pay attention to your feelings.
   
   Venus

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6. 66

   dosborne08posted 12 years ago

   You have to eventually address this issue as adults. You know why you want and you have to find out if he is still on the same page as you.  If not, you really do need to move on. Depending on his character, one times it takes putting him in a position where he has no choice but to make a decision. I believe that would be better than "floating" along in uncertainty. Good luck!

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