Jealous raging partner: How to defuse?
I was yelled at for what other people said about me when I wasn't present in the room. I don't believe this other person even said such bad things because if true - then why my beau yell at the OTHER guy? He was yelling at me for what other said,
Jealously in a relationship can be damaging. I would discuss in a calmly manner how you are feeling. I know it is easier said then done; but jealously needs to be discussed.
Jealousy is a dangerous thing. Your partner's jealousy needs to be discussed and brought out into the open or these kinds of incidents will escalte.
And...people only yell at you if you allow it. Put your foot down and tell this person you will not tolerate being treated like a naughty child, that you can discuss together what happened but don't let yourself be treated badly over this.
Jealousy and rage in a relationship, most often originate in core-relationship needs going unmet for prolonged periods of time. When a primary relationship need like those related to the "attachment emotions" (need to be loved) are frustrated this leads to anxiety and sadness. The anger and Jealousy are just defensive ways of trying to reduce these scary primary emotions.
The best way to deal with these deep emotional needs is to listen for them and learn how to meet them for your partner. If you do this effectively, over time, the jealousy and anger will go away through the corrective emotional experience you provide your partner (if its unmanageable for you try EFT therapy for couples). What a gift of love you are then giving your partner!
- Duddy.
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