What's your best (clean) joke?

1. 78

   cydroposted 12 years ago

   What's your best (clean) joke?
   
   I would offer mine, but then again that's why I'm asking...

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2. 90

   Rock_njposted 12 years ago

   Somebody stole my wife's credit card, but I didn't bother to report it because they were spending less money than she was.  :-)

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3. 76

   stclairjackposted 12 years ago

   couple die together in an accident,... they are given the tour of heaven by a small little angel who is very thourough,...
   
   heaven seems like a long hallway with doors lining each side,... at each door the angel tells them a denomination that resides there,... "door #6 is for the catholics, door #34 is the pentacostals".....
   
   further down the great hall the angel is speaking noticably quieter,... "this door is for our hindu brothers and sisters,.. this next door is for our muslim brothers and sisters,.. and door #1023 is for the natives of north america".....
   
   the couple were entralled with the splendor and harmony, how seemingly everyone was welcome in the after-life,.... but also curious as to why the little tour-guide angel was talking in a whisper,.... so they asked,.... "why are we whspering?"
   
   the angel gigled,.... "well......you see that door all by itself,... way down there?...... thats where we keep the baptists,.... they think theyre the only ones up here,.... and we just havent got the heart to ruin it for them"

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4. 61

   OddDustinposted 12 years ago

   What do you call the last three hairs on a dogs tail? Answer:
   
   Dog Hairs

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5. 66

   Ralph Deedsposted 12 years ago

   Four middle-aged gentlemen boarded the Tube in London and sat two-by-two facing each other for a few minutes until one cleared his throat and said in an Oxbridge accent "I think its only proper that we introduce ourselves--"Selwin-Smithers, Harrow '37; brigadier, retired: married, two sons, both barristers."
   
   Then a second one spoke up, "Vickers-Smedley, brigadier, retired; Oxford '39; married, two sons, both bankers.
   
   The third one said, "Smoakley-Johnson, Cambridge '41, brigadier, retired; married, two sons, both doctors.
   
   Then the first three turned their eyes to the fourth gentleman who said, in a Scottish brogue--" McGregor, Sargeant Major, retired, not married, two sons, both brigadiers!"

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6. 61

   sam3mposted 12 years ago

   i have two: http://hubpages.com/hub/the-penguin-joke
   and
   http://hubpages.com/hub/the-roof-joke

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7. 61

   Becca Luckposted 12 years ago

   What happened when the dog went to the circus?
   
   He stole the show!

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