What constitutes premarital sex for Christians?

1. 60

   cooldadposted 13 years ago

   What constitutes premarital sex for Christians?
   
   This is a serious question.  I honestly don't know.  Is oral sex or masturbation considered sex, in Biblical terms?  I am honestly curious.

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2. 0

   Sara Sweeneyposted 13 years ago

   My Bible study youth-leader always used to tell us, "If you have to ask, then it's probably too far." I hated that answer, we all did. But, being married for ten years now, I can say that she was dead RIGHT.
   
   If you've got doubt about your actions, then that's your first red flag.
   
   People can argue Biblical text on this issue until they are blue in the face. What you are referring to above was referred to as Onanism (spilling one's own seed) in the Old Testament and was frowned upon ... not for the same reasons as today. Back then it was considered a waste, if you will, and a disgraceful type of birth control. My point is that the historical/technical answers are irrelevant. The irrelevance does, in fact, give Christians clues. It tells us that things of that nature were more cultural taboos than doctrine. 
   
   I know a couple of people who have gotten caught up in the technicality of the act, and done things before marriage that they would never do inside of marriage, just to side step the traditional act. That makes me sad, and it makes them sad too, believe me, it is one of their major life regrets.
   
   Jesus taught more about what was in our hearts and minds, on this issue, than what we do with our bodies. Maybe self pleasure is a tool for some Christian singles to avoid going too far before marriage, maybe for some it is a tool of temptation for further things. It's important not to judge, and to keep open lines of communication with God, as only He can see what is on our hearts.

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3. 59

   TauntaBeanieposted 13 years ago

   Sara has given you the best answer-if you have doubts, then it's probably too far.  DIfferent dogmas might give slightly different answers.  I also know those who, to be more direct, would say that mastrubation is not a sin, unless it is done in conjunction with others.  Oral sex, is definately sex.  Follow your conscious, as God gave it to you to be your guide.

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4. 69

   Liz Green Berryposted 13 years ago

   I think it really depends on your beliefs.  I was raised in a church that considers the world equal to the deed so pretty much if you thought anything or did anything that made you feel particularly "sexy" or turned on, you might as well have already done "it" - whatever it means to you, in this case. 
   
   I haven't been back to church since I was 16, in part because of this idea.  I got tired of being a regular red blooded teenager - I never got pregnant or had to go on Maury Povich or anything, but I had a boyfriend and we liked to neck, etc.  I like to think I was pretty typical, but I got sick of this idea that I was a giant sinner just because of my THOUGHTS.

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5. 0

   Deborah Sextonposted 13 years ago

   Anything that triggers lust for unmarried people is  Adultery
   
   even the way you feel when you lust (are aroused) after someone
   
   Matthew 5:28
   But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
   
   It's adultery regardless of what you believe
   
   I don't feel Masturbation is wrong

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