Parents ~ When is the best time to tell a child, that he or she is adopted?

1. 62

   Lady_Eposted 12 years ago

   Parents ~ When is the best time to tell a child, that he or she is adopted?
   
   Is there a best time for adoptive parents to reveal it?

   replyreport
2. 84

   billybucposted 12 years ago

   When do you tell your adopted child that they are adopted? At the earliest possible age that they will understand. read more

   replyreport
3. 74

   TENKAYposted 12 years ago

   Probably if I were to adopt a child, I am going to tell her/him about the adoption once he/she can understand the meaning of the word and when I am sure that the kid is assured of our love for him or her.

   replyreport
4. 61

   duffsmomposted 12 years ago

   I would be talking about it from the time the child was able to hear my voice.  To wait and tell them later is cruel and can have very adverse effects.  Talk about it from day one, so that they always know how special they are, and how very much they are wanted.

   replyreport
5. 54

   perassannaposted 12 years ago

   better not to tell in my point of view, people think they are more practical and tell their adopted child that he/she is not their own son/daughter. if something will hurt someone don't tell it even its true.

   replyreport
6. 77

   loveofnightposted 12 years ago

   I do not understand why there should be a waiting period.My aunt was told that she was adopted when she was a teen and she took it hard.She felt betrayed by my grandmother for holding this truth from her.Telling them early will not change the love that they will have for you.I think it cruel if a school age child developes a relationship with someone only to find out that they are related.Not telling is almost like living a lie, a lie that could hurt the child later.

   replyreport
7. 60

   BakingBread-101posted 12 years ago

   My daughter knows she is adopted and we have "gotcha day", "adoption day" and "birthday".  I keep it as we adopted each other.  There is a picture of me holding her with the Judge who granted the adoption.  I made a quilt for her with our important dates on it.
   
   Her story is, "Mommy, before we found each other I was looking for a Mommy and a Daddy and a Sister but no brothers cuz they're icky, but I'm sure glad you're my Mommy."  She has asked if we could adopt each other again, and so we made up "Adoption Vows" and said them to each other in our living room--just the two of us. 
   
   When she wanted to know if she grew in my tummy, I explained that she grew in someone else's tummy but she grew in my heart.  But then when she asked how she was born, I told her, "in a hospital!"
   
   I think a child should hear about adoption and know they are adopted from the very beginning.

   replyreport
8. 61

   Dave Mathewsposted 12 years ago

   From the time that the child enters into your life, it needs to know you love it enough to love it even though you did not create it. That is what God does too and God is the creator of all children.

   replyreport
9. 56

   consentinoposted 12 years ago

   I believe you should tell a child he is adopted at an early age.  You don't want someone else to slip and mention it in front of him/her.  You want them to know you chose them and they are very special.   Our daughter and son-in-law adopted a boy when he was an infant,they started to talk to him about it when he was about 4 years old.  You don't have to go into great detail at first, let him ask questions on his/her own.  My grandson is now 21 years old and going to college.

   replyreport
10. 59

    Joesy Shmoesyposted 12 years ago

    I am the proud mom of two adopted children.  We have owned and read books like "Tell Me Again About the Night I was Born" by Jamie Lee Curtis since before my children could talk.  (There are a ton more great books too)  My kids are both very aware of where they are from, who their birth parents are, and who their birth sibblings are.  We make sure that our children know that they are loved by two families.  I will honestly say that when my husband and I had planned to adopt this issue was very scary to us, it took a lot of communication and research to decide how we would handle this.  I believe we made the right decision. I don't doubt that my children will question "who they are" or wonder where they would be if.....
    All we can do as parents is answer their questions honestly and support their feelings about it as they grow.

    replyreport