How can you help a person who hides abuse?

1. 73

   brakel2posted 11 years ago

   How can you help a person who hides abuse?
   
   Some people are good at covering bruises with makeup and appear to have a perfect marriage. Do you think there are telltale signs that something is wrong with relationship?

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2. 60

   ThussaysNanaMarieposted 11 years ago

   There is really nothing you can do until they are ready to come out of the relationship. People hang on for so many reasons. It is more complex than you can imagine.
   
   Just be there for them when they try to empower themselves and try to keep them busy and develop other skills.
   
   Something will shift eventually.

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3. 67

   Cherrietgeeposted 11 years ago

   A counselor friend of mine once said that you can't help someone until they first admit that there's a problem. As long as they are in denial or refuse to admit/accept the truth, there's nothing you can do to help.

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4. 60

   Anne Loschposted 11 years ago

   This is a very good question because I have a friend who suffers from physical abuse and alcoholic abuse.  The first thing is be there for them.  Listen to everything they have to say and when replying make sure that your answers reflect the kind of person you want them to be, abuse free.  Take them out to places where they are free of drugs or alcohol, whatever they are abused to, but can still have a good time.  Show them how they can get involved in the community to meet new people.

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5. 57

   networmedposted 11 years ago

   I totally agree with Cherrietgee... you can't help someone until he admits his/her real personality.
   
   I think psychologist or counselors are good at digging a person's personality. But, it might take a long time to dig that real person inside of someone.

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6. 0

   Starmom41posted 11 years ago

   I've come to believe psychobabble/pop-psych is not only destroying lives, but in many instances can lead to -ending- of lives. 
   While individuals are yammering about such 'stuff' as choosing/choices/denial/empowerment/etc.etc., a person who's being abused can end up dead. 
   First, re: people who hide or try to hide abuse- one possibility is they're afraid no one will believe them;  and another possibility is they're afraid the abuse will get worse if they tell anybody.  While I'm not big on statistics, I'd think -most- abuse victims are in this category.
   Second, re: those who believe such things as "it can get better if they do or don't do this or that," their lives can be on the line in the meanwhile.

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