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jump to last post 1-19 of 19 discussions (19 posts)

How Long Must One take abuse until it's time to walk away?

  1. Deborah Brooks profile image78
    Deborah Brooksposted 6 years ago

    How Long Must One take abuse until it's time to walk away?

    Even the strongest of minds, hearts, and souls can be broken with constant abuse from another. It is inevitable, you must leave or be broken. How long must one take abuse?

  2. krillco profile image93
    krillcoposted 6 years ago

    That is a tough question, especially without details. Only YOU have the vote on that.
    it hinges on one's personal level of what is called 'differentiation'. Those with lower levels of differentiation tend to stay longer in abusive situations, likely they entered the relationship at an immature level of relationship, and/or were slowly worn down or emotionally 'brainwashed' into accepting the abuse (based on a damaged self esteem). Those with a higher level of differentiation do not tolerate abuse for long.

  3. PurvisBobbi44 profile image82
    PurvisBobbi44posted 6 years ago

    No one should take abuse from anyone at any time. Tell them I don't know nor do I care what your issues are, but I am not a door mat or punching bag for anyone.
    Get out of my face and out of my life.

    If you do not love yourself first enough to stop them---then you will be their victim.

    Abusers pave their road to Hell with their action and loveless ways. Why anyone would put up with it I do not understand. There are no excuses for this person of evil behavior.

  4. SubRon7 profile image61
    SubRon7posted 6 years ago

    Men and women both, but especially women, and doubly-especially young women, should know what to look for, and the best place to get that information is from a rape and abuse crisis center. Abuse can take so many forms, from maybe just humiliating comments to start with, and then maybe controling what one does and where one goes and who one knows, and then maybe shouting, then yelling, then swearing and other bully-tactics, and if verbal abuse does not get the abuser what he/she wants, physical abuse is just a click away.
    But for the young woman, say 16-25 years old, she will see these changes and escalations in her man, but will deny the growing danger she might be in, and will defend him; it might take years for her to truly see and admit to herself where her relationship is going, and has gone, and that it will not likely change.
    So, to answer "How long must one take abuse?"
    That is tough to answer. First get educated.

  5. Amy Becherer profile image73
    Amy Bechererposted 6 years ago

    There are no pat answers that answer complicated questions.  Every individual has their own unique concept of happiness.  What constitutes abuse for one is not to another. Important decisions, such as leaving a relationship, require careful thought and planning.  Of course, a dangerous situation requires an immediate, pro-active decision for personal safety.

    The problem is often a feeling that the situation, though not ideal, is a known entity, as opposed to facing the unknown. Broken spirits lose the motivation and strength that change entails. But, even with professional help and caring friends, the decision is ultimately up to the individual living it.

  6. Anjili profile image84
    Anjiliposted 6 years ago

    Abuse in any relationship should never be condoned. It tends to be very dehumanizing while holding the Victim in low esteem. Frequent occurrences are likely to lead to physical injury. In view of this, nobody should ever remain in an abusive relationship. People must learn to respect each other.  If you love me, show some respect

  7. WD Curry 111 profile image60
    WD Curry 111posted 6 years ago

    Physical abuse? Once and gone. Verbal? Get counseling. If you want to handle it alone, think again. You might as well give it up now.

  8. rlaha profile image69
    rlahaposted 6 years ago

    No one has to take abuse of any kind. Get out of the relationship as soon as you can.

  9. sir_tallest profile image65
    sir_tallestposted 6 years ago

    i think the answer to that question depends on the person been abused...there is only one result from been abused....and that is death,...if he doesn't want to stop,he won't till she's dead....and if she should know when she can't get him to stop.....the day he sends you to the hospital should be the day you say its over

  10. Pamela99 profile image89
    Pamela99posted 6 years ago

    If your partner is not open to counselling and change, then it is time to walk away now. It is a fact that abusers get worse over time without intervention. Physical, mental or emotional abuse are all detrimental to you emotional and physical health. It is also dangerous and if children witness the verbal or physical abuse they are forever damaged as well. To me this is a black and white issue. I sat on an abuse counsel as a nurse for two years, and this is what I learned.

  11. MazioCreate profile image71
    MazioCreateposted 6 years ago

    You don't! Walk away on the first instance. Read the report of a woman who's eyes where gouged out by her partner. Thankfully he is spending life in jail. She is now telling women to get out if you are hit.

    Breaking the cycle of domestic violence is incredibly difficult and I know the anguish that women go through when trying to make this decision. I only wish my mother had left my father because there would be fewer people in my family on medication.  My father never touched my mother, but the same couldn't be said for us.  It was a minefield in the house at times.  I do put some of this at the feet of the Army for not taking "shell shock" soldiers suffered during WW2 seriously.  The atrocities that those serving saw were horrendous, but the atrocities that then went on in many homes were equally so.

  12. creativebutterfly profile image59
    creativebutterflyposted 6 years ago

    Leave immediately, although sometimes it looks like it cannot work if you leave, believe me it is the best thing to do for sure.

  13. CR Rookwood profile image82
    CR Rookwoodposted 6 years ago

    I no longer tolerate abuse but it took me years to get to this point. The problem with abusive people is that they rarely are motivated to change. If their abusive behavior stops getting the desired effect, they escalate (and hurt you physically), or they just go find someone else who will accept the abuse.

    If you can leave, leave. If you can't, get help for yourself. Get a plan, get out safely. If it's 'just' verbal and emotional abuse, know that many therapists now believe that this is the most damaging of all, so don't downplay or make excuses for the abuser.

    Good luck to you. If you are asking for someone else, good luck to that person. All the best.

  14. Vellur profile image88
    Vellurposted 6 years ago

    In my opinion a person who loves you will never abuse. The minute you feel you are being abused the relationship is worthless.

    Never take abuse in any form.

  15. edhan profile image61
    edhanposted 6 years ago

    Once there is sign of abuse, it is time to leave. Never to a victim of abuse. It will never stop once it is started.

    So, get out immediately!

  16. theseus profile image79
    theseusposted 6 years ago

    We should not let any one abuse us, no matter how short or how long a time that is.
    Because if we allow that person to abuse us even for a short period of time, who is to stop him/her from not prolonging it?Short or long, it is still abuse no matter how we sugar-coat the term.

  17. AM Hanson profile image76
    AM Hansonposted 6 years ago

    don't take abuse.  stand up and don't allow anyone to push you around.  Not simply for the immediate terrible consquences, but for the long-lasting negatives such as emotional damage and trust issues.

  18. profile image58
    Squirrelgonzoposted 6 years ago

    Understanding that it gets harder to walk away from someone when there are feelings present:

    If a person is really trying and actively seeking help with whatever problem, I can understand giving that individual time to cultivate new habits and behaviors...but I think that if one gives another that chance to change-it should be from a distance.

    If said person only talks about changing-than the faster one leaves, the better.

  19. carter06 profile image81
    carter06posted 6 years ago

    Such an emotive issue...its obvious that we should never have to put up with any form of abuse...but it's easier said than done...and often people stay in abusive relationships trapped by loyalty and love...