How can you deal with your spouse if he or she is over demanding and dominating?
How tough is to deal with a partner with demanding and dominating nature..
I would leave as life is too short to put up with that, A while back I wrote a hub on escaping an abusive husband . I would never tell him I was planning to leave tho .
What I know is people tend to do what (they) think is in (their) best interest. Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. All relationships are "at will". No one is "stuck" with anyone. Therefore if your mate makes you unhappy and you (choose) to remain in the marriage/relationship, then YOU are (choosing) to be unhappy!
Each of us is responsible for our own happiness. The only person you can control is yourself! You're never going to stop your husband from being "over demanding" and "dominating" but you can control whether or not you remain with him. Recently I wrote a book titled: My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany) where I stated:
"There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: we either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have."
It's your life! Take the wheel!
http://www.amazon.com/Cat-Wont-Bark-Rel … roduct_top
That's wise advice to those people who can do it. Sometimes people who deal with someone who expects to control them, find that controllers may knock them to the floor so they can't reach the wheel (or the door handle).
Lisa HW, You have a valid point. Sometimes one has to make (plans) before they exit. Each of us is entitled to be in control of our life. If one wants something bad enough they'll make it happen one way or another.
I would assume that someone who marries someone like that must have known it when they married. They have a couple of choices; they can deal with it or they can move on. Personally, I could not deal with someone controlling or dominating so I would have to step away from that person - hopefully before I married them.
I totally agree that we make our own happiness and it is the choices that we make which determine that happiness. But to be fair, I have known people who have been able to just walk away from a relationship like this, and others who have a hard time out of fear. If you can walk away, great, I think that would be the best thing to do, but if you are scared, then sometimes it is just not that easy. You can make it happen though. You have to decide, are these demanding and dominating features things that you are willing to deal with? First thing is, if you are willing to deal with it, then you are going to do just that. Stay and deal with it. If you are not willing to deal with it, then you will need to takes steps in order to get up your confidence to leave. That may be by support of friends, family, church or whatever resources you can find to make a plan to make yourself happy. I know that people can change and become more demanding as time goes on, but me personally, if I had any thoughts about a person being that way, I would leave at the first sign of that. I dated this guy once as a young adult. He told me that if I ever talked to this specific person again that I would be in trouble, kind of threatened me. That was the last time I ever went out with him. I just knew that if he was trying to dominate me like that, that the future would be trouble. So try to be smart in the decisions that you make.
Thanks for your guidance jennshealthstore you are right but sometimes circumstances doesn't allow us to take such a brave step.
If I understood your question, it seems like it has to do with a kind of abuse. The problem is that a controlling and demanding partner has more issues than just these. In most cases they get worse with time and their grip tightens even more. Unfortunately, abuse of this nature is a prerequisite for other forms of abuse including physical abuse especially when the other partner begins to resist. I have written a hub on psychological abuse and how to recognise it. Please feel free to visit.
I agree that it is not always easy to break away coz av been there but one cannot endure a lifetime of abuse. The first step is to recognise and accept that a partner has a problem.
Life is difficult enough and your spouse shouldn't be a person who makes it even more!
That's the opposite of happy relationship if any.
I think it is a problem if you have tried to talk to your partner about their domineering/demanding ways and they continue to do it with disregard to your feelings. I am of the belief that if there's an issue with your relationship you must discuss it and try and resolve it in order to make it work. If the problem continues and you have tried and failed to resolve it, I personally would have to rethink that relationship as being with someone who is overly demanding and dominating can drag you down.
Depending on how bad this is, it can be classed as a form of control and thus categorised as emotional abuse.
There is always a reason behind someone's behaviour and if they are able and willing to get help dealing with the reasons they act this way, great! If not, it's a no-brainer. Take care of your own sanity and move on.
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