Are human beings biologically wired towards monogamy?

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   Vasiliki Bourasposted 11 years ago

   Are human beings biologically wired towards monogamy?
   
   If we are wired to be monogamous, then why do people commit adultry? Or, not feel the need to get married? Or, In most cases, when with someone, feel the strong curiosity or even fantasize about being with someone else?
   Animals that are truly monogamous seem to stick with that rule, but are we truly a monogamous species, or does culture and religion dictate this?

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   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   No, monogamy is not a genetic code. It's a life-style choice. Life is a personal journey and each of us gets to choose how we want to live our lives. One has to choose to "commit" to a life of monogamy. For some people it is much like following a strict diet. They will do whatever it takes to avoid temptation. Others cheat when they are bored and still others cheat because they feel something is lacking in their relationship.
   Generally speaking cheaters seek to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other needs or desires on the side. They'd rather cheat than run down to the courthouse and file for a divorce.

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      Vasiliki Bourasposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Couldn't have said it better. I knew someone who cheated only because their sexual needs were not met, not that they were sex "addicts", it's just that sex was non existant in their marriage.

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      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Vasiliki Bouras, You are right I have known more than one person who did the same thing. In a manner of speaking "bad or no sex" was not a "deal breaker" in their eyes. They felt like they could address that issue on the side. To each his/her own.

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   junksellerposted 11 years ago

   I think we are wired for both. There is a level of satisfaction and pleasure that comes from deep bonds with others as well as a sense of safety and comfort in long-term commitments.
   
   At the same times a hot piece of flesh is absolutely meant to set me to attention. That's just the way it is. It is tough because we are a complex society and more fluid than animal societies tend to be and have built a world in which temptation and desire are poured over everything.
   
   I think the way to monogamy is through honesty and communication. If people can accept that we are born to desire and desire is all over the place, they can then understand (and want) the sacrifice necessary for monogamy (or what can be done to satisfy those desires between each other). Trying to pretend the desire isn't there, however, becomes a demon who almost always seems to win.

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      Vasiliki Bourasposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, trying to pretend the desire is there but NOT, will definetly cause infedelity. That would nag you into eventually resenting your partner, and they would have no idea why. I find many people tend to look a lot and not touch...

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   yssubramanyamposted 11 years ago

   We human are exceptional on the planet. animals are under natures control, they have no ego. desires/ satisfaction level of our mind is unlimited. it is left to individuals attitude to maintain ethical and moral values. the basic root cause is change of taste in every respect. religion also plays major role in our way of life. great hub and i shall learn more and more from you.

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   MickSposted 11 years ago

   Monogamy is a societal thing, the natural way for mamals is for the males to have a harem.  One man can make  diferrent woman pregnant every 24 hours, it takes about that long for the sperm count to get high enough.  No matter how many male partners a woman has, she can only get pregnant once every 9 months or so.  Mother Nature made us this way for maximum growth rate, thereby survival, and that is all Mother Nature is inbterested in.

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   Gregoryyposted 11 years ago

   In my opinion monagamy is good for rasing children as children can learn diffrent things, and traits from both a father, and mother. Marrige just like Logic is not natural. Emotion often trups logic as logic is socialy constructed, same thing with morals. Emotion has been there since the begining of time. We can also bring God in this. I belive that God created the universe, and is the orginator of the universe. The bible and multiple religions were created by humans. The bible was inspired by God, however God is a spirit. Morals may have been created to make society better to live in, but are they natural.
   
   A lot of humans may cheat as they are affriad to leave the relationship, and/or like their partner for a reason and do not want to look for someone else, yet they want something that they are not offering. In some cases chemistry/emotional wants/needs are being met, but physcial needs may not, so they become attracted to someone who can provide their physical wants/ needs. Other times the physical needs are being met, but chemistry is lacking, and their partner may not have a good personality. So they become attracted to a fun person, with a great personality, who they have better chemistry with.

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      Vasiliki Bourasposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Especially when raising a family I believe monogamy is good, yet I understand why things may not work, and a partner may cheat. However, if the partner is lacking in something, isn't it best to just end the relationship, even though they are afraid?

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   VeronicaInspiresposted 11 years ago

   I say, yes.
   
   If you go back to the beginning of time with Adam and Eve, God gave the commandment over Adam, “man should not be alone” and made Eve as his helpmate. God didn't say, let me create two, three, and four women for Adam, or two, three, and four men for Eve.
   
   By pulling Eve from Adam's rib, Eve was complete to Adam. She was Adam's perfect compliment.
   
   But once Adam and Eve disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden by eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, they ushered sin into world and society has moved away from the things of God.
   
   But monogamy was always God's intention.

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