Should you give someone false hope?

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   rgalloway56posted 11 years ago

   Should you give someone false hope?
   
   Someone you know is in a desperate situation.  You want to comfort them.  Should you say whatever necessary to ease their pain and possibly give them false hope?  Or should you
   be realistic no matter how they might take it?

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   Virtuous1posted 11 years ago

   Giving someone false hope only makes matters worse. Tell them the truth even if it hurts at the end they will thank you for your honesty.

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      rgalloway56posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your input.  I was thinking that if it was a near death situation, a person might like to hear something that could help them hold on a little longer. But even in a desperate situation, I think honesty is the best policy.

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   tjdavisposted 11 years ago

   I personally would rather have the truth than false hope. False hope to me is the same as lying to me. Better to just be truthful.

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      Virtuous1posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Amen! Truth always out weighs a liee

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   BobMongerposted 11 years ago

   Being realistic is always the best bet. Soft-soaping over what is probably obvious will do your friend more harm than good. But when you're telling your friend hard truths be as decent and accessible as possible. Let them know you always have their back so if they fall you'll be there to help them back up. They may not appreciate it at the time but they will later on. Oh, and don't EVER use the "I told you so" card. No one likes to be reminded of their failings.

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      rgalloway56posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Very well put BobMonger. You have a lot of insight and compassion for others. Thanks for taking the time to give me your input. It was very thought-provoking.

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   Cassandra Godutiposted 11 years ago

   When is hope ever false? Reality is a point of view.
   
   By being realistic you are saying when you sit down and tell someone the reality of a situation that your point of view is more correct that someone else's.
   
   By being realistic and by not giving someone any hope, or taking away the hope that they might have-- makes their hope less important than your ego, because you are saying that you are right.
   
   Many people who give advice to others put them down and tell them that they can't accomplish a goal. Typically, the person who is giving the advice could never do what the other is trying to accomplish. They let their ego get in the way and try to make the person feel like they could not do it..
   
   Hope is something everyone deserves and needs.
   
   People have moved the world with their imagination and their belief that they could overcome an obstacle. Point of view is everything.
   
   The only thing they may need from you is guidance, a shoulder to lean upon, a friend, and some hope.

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      rgalloway56posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You are right. My reality may not, and most likely, is not, your reality.  You have an excellent point and one worth considering.
      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!

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   krsharp05posted 11 years ago

   Wow, what a powerful question!  The truth is sometimes harsh and painful, but it is necessary.  I think that delivery is 90% of the battle.  If you can deliver your message with love and respect, you can say just about anything.  If you say something that isn't true you're going to have to come clean eventually and that will deteriorate respect and trust.

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      rgalloway56posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You're right about the delivery.  The truth can sometimes be brutal.  But if we are careful about how we express the reality of the situation, we will keep the integrity of our relationship with the person, and they will thanks us for it later.

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   iefox5posted 11 years ago

   Comfort words should be better for those who are in desperate situation. Realistic words would hurt them again.

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   ngurecoposted 11 years ago

   Should you give someone false hope? Yes, hope in itself is the medicine for curing the incurable diseases regardless of .whether its true hope or false hope. You can give false hope to buy time.
   
   Of course, there is nobody who would like to be given false hope. But situations do arises where you just have to give false hope. For example: Your cousin knows very well that you have thousands of dollars with you. And just when you least expect it, she ask you to loan her $1000 which she will refund back next month. At the back of your mind you know this cousin may never repay you. And in your culture, it is considered rude to tell a blood relative to go and borrow money from the bank where such treatments can be replayed from one generation to the other. What do you tell her? Just give her false hope that all will be well so that you can buy time to cook a convincing story as to why you can not afford to loan money to her, at least for the time being.   
   
   Again, there is nobody in this world who would like to be given false hope.

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