Being right or being happy?

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   Quirinusposted 11 years ago

   Being right or being happy?
   
   If you had to make a choice between being right (having proven yourself to have the best arguments) or being happy, which would you choose? Why? Can you illustrate by example? Thanks

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   midget38posted 11 years ago

   It would depend on what the consequences are. Take an argument with your parents for example. You may be right when in an argument with them, but they hold the reins in the household so it would do you no good to push the issues too hard. I guess in certain circumstances it would mean dealing with things in another way.

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      Quirinusposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your example, midget38. Sometimes it makes one wonder when/how can it be possible for disagreeing parties to first understand (the other person) than seek to be understood. Stephen Covey mentioned about the value of this habit.

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      midget38posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, and to disagree agreeably! Think Win WIn, as Covey also says.

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      Quirinusposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Or are we just being too optimistic in believing that it's possible to come up with a Win-Win situation each time?

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   CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years ago

   Being right all the time can lead to a lonely existence, which can lead to unhappiness.
   
   Being happy at the expense of ethical and moral integrity means that one puts a temporary emotional state of mind ahead of integrity, which can lead to unhappiness and hell fire.
   
   The third player in this scenario is wisdom. Wisdom should be administered, such that, being right lends itself to the greater good, not a temporary ego boost.
   
   Being right does not give one license to be a jerk, or lord it over other people. Sometimes, one has to look at the greater good and must, therefore, choose to be wise instead of right.

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      Quirinusposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, CJ. Gives me food for thought. You are right about wisdom. Lonely sages have a rich inner life that require no external affirmation to provide for happiness.

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   Holisticityposted 11 years ago

   I think to be happy is to look at the full picture and see that you don't have to be right all the time, so long as the best outcome is achieved.

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      Quirinusposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Agree, Holisticity. Getting as much of a complete picture before making a stand, to factor everything and EVERYONE in as much as possible is important. It takes some discernment though to be able to gather straight facts. Thanks

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      Holisticityposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You're welcome!

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   pennyofheavenposted 11 years ago

   I would always choose being happy. I don't care much whether I am right or wrong. Even when I might think I am right, experience may teach me otherwise. So I try not to hold steadfastly to any right or wrong concepts. They change as soon as more information comes to the fore. To some I might be right, to some I may be wrong. Whether I am or not will depend on their perception so why worry, stay happy.
   
   I am pretty much the same with others. If they think they are right and it disagrees with my own view. Doesn't matter. Stay happy!

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      Quirinusposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed, right/wrong may actually be relative to a number of things, e.g. the point of view.  Which leads to the thought that a point of view can be influenced by the words used to represent it, which only approximates the actual fact.

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   loveofnightposted 11 years ago

   I agree with CJ Sledgehammer being right is not always what it is cracked up to be. We do have to look at the whole picture and examine the final results of our actions. midget38 also made a good point in that you have to choose your battles, sometimes you just can't win. I choose to be happy knowing that time will reveal my position in the end.

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      Quirinusposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I just came from commenting on newcalendar's answer, then what do I see? We're thinking the same thoughts. Awesome! As I mentioned in my welcome page, I am a sucker for synchronicity.  Thanks, loveofnight.

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   newcalendarposted 11 years ago

   Absolutely being happy. Not always that easy though with certain people. One of my best friend is constantly trying to be right about everything, it's really hard not to tell him he's wrong.

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      Quirinusposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      We share the same experience. I can absolutely understand where you're coming from. I need to consciously refrain from speaking my mind, to keep the peace. Sometimes I get lucky and my friend by him/herself eventually discerns what is right.

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      CJ Sledgehammerposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I guess I don't mind if someone is right. What I mind is when they insist they are right, but don't know what they are talking about, yet are willing to draw lines in the sand and fight to the death.

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      Quirinusposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I do mind too when someone who is wrong insists on being right; my usual  mode might be to argue. But I try to consciously decide whether the person might still be open to explanations. If not, I pray for the person reach their own insight.

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   edhanposted 11 years ago

   Happy will be my choice.
   
   Sometimes, it is okay to forgo of being right and letting it be as you can be happier. It is like a heated argument with your wife, even though you may be right but letting it be will make your wife and yourself happier.

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   Darrell Robertsposted 11 years ago

   I would choose to be happy every time no matter the situation.  Why because the spirit is always seeking pleasure.  If I feel the need to prove myself right that is more me trying to make my ego happy, in most cases.  I believe in karma, so no matter what we do eventually we will have to get the karma for it good or bad.  This knowledge helps me to rationalize why "bad" things happen to "good" people. 
   
   I know that I do not have all the answers so trying to prove myself right is not always worth it, especially if matters are based on personal beliefs.  I do not think that it is worth my time to try to convince some one about what I personally believe. 
   
   Now if I see that there is some abuse, I would be happy to try to put a stop to the abuse because I think that is the right ting to do, if Im am successful or not is a differnt matter.  I think that the two should coincide for the best results.  One should be happy doing the right thing even if it is difficult.
   
   I hope this meets you well. Have a wonderful day.

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