What qualities make for a good marriage?

1. 60

   Guy Foxeposted 11 years ago

   What qualities make for a good marriage?
   
   I've come up with two things:
   
   Fellow feeling (basically sympathy and empathy) with your partner
   and
   Agreement on basic things like, broadly, how to raise kids what is important for you and your family.
   
   What have I missed and do you agree?

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2. 0

   Starmom41posted 11 years ago

   I agree with your points, and also:
   - the ability to admit you're wrong when you are;
   - the ability to stand up for yourself whenever necessary;
   - mutual respect. 
   
   I'd also add:
   background similarities- both in terms of general values and lifestyle, and the individuals' view on what marriage is supposed to be.

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   1. 60

      Guy Foxeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Good additions.

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3. 78

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   Truthfully each person has their own idea of what a "good marriage" is. There are bound to be many couples who are happy under conditions that maybe you or I could not imagine living with. Therefore my answer is; The key to a good marriage is selecting (the right mate) for yourself. In order to accomplish this one has to truly know themself. Opposites may attact in the short run but it's like that like attracts in the long run. Ultimately we are all looking for someone who (naturally agrees) with us on the major things in life.
   There is no amount of "communication" or "work" that can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want. People who (naturally agree) on the major things in life tend to be happier and stay together. Who knew?! :-)

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   1. 60

      Guy Foxeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, but I think people also change as they age, so even if you start with someone who is like you they can grow into a stranger, and I suppose vice versa as well.  You could grow together (though that is less likely, in my experience). Thx.

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4. 82

   Cristaleposted 11 years ago

   I agree totally, but also would mention trust and love. These things are very important qualities to a marriage. Being married is like a full time job that never ends, so there are many qualities that make a good marriage.
   
   The most important quality is the "want" to be married to that person.

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5. 0

   savvydatingposted 11 years ago

   I agree. I would also add flexibility, emotional maturity, and forgiveness. (However, maturity comes with time and practice.) For example, a flexible mate may allow us to act like a yahoo once in a while without flying off the handle or taking our temporary meltdowns too seriously.  A forgiving mate might ask his love (quietly) to "please don't do that again" after he finishes reading his morning newspaper and his love has finished acting like a two year old. A good mate will then likely hug you and say something like, "I don't always like you, but I always love you." Basically, a good mate gives you some latitude to act like an idiot once in a while. The idea though, is that both partners must ultimately choose to grow in maturity if the marriage is to be successful.

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6. 38

   Lyn Dianoposted 11 years ago

   Hello,
   I have a great teacher who guides me with everything I need to know about life. And what I heard from him about marriage life is that the couple should become a lover of God and should center their life in the service of God. If a person does not make any effort to know and love God, chances are that the marriage life will be full of misery, anger, and pain. Because no one is loving God or is at least making the effort to love God, they won't really care for the real well being of the each other. The couple will end up being selfish and bitter because they won't recognize that his/her partner is a child of God, loving servant of God whom I should take care of.
   
   Aside from being a servant of God, my teacher also said that the couple should practice these 12 qualities/actions
   -humble
   -compassionate
   -respectful
   -tolerant
   -supportive
   -understanding
   -encouraging
   -apologetic
   -striving for perfection yourself, but don’t expect it from your spouse
   -being slow to judge
   -forgiving
   -accepting responsibility for your own misery
   
   ^__^ hope this helps.

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