How do you stop bad feelings from entering your mind?

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   Magdeleneposted 11 years ago

   How do you stop bad feelings from entering your mind?
   
   How do you stop feelings of strong dislike from entering your mind of a person or persons who have caused both emotional and financial distress in you life? I do not wish to waste my time thinking of the past wrongs and want to move on, how do you just make these feelings go away?

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   Dr Bill Tollefsonposted 11 years ago

   I work with this issue as a Master Life Coach daily, and I have found that what causes people to be triggered from being treated bad or why we carry deep resentments (wrongs done to us, real or imaged) is that we have form core beliefs about ourselves that have rooted deeply into our subconscious. These core beliefs influence us on what we are or are not, what we can have or have not, or what we can do or not do. These self messages (real or not) that we form about ourselves makeup the foundation of our identity and cause us to focus on issues, matters, feeling or ideas even when we do not want to. These self messages will either motivated us to success or block us from them. So check into your Personal Philosophy, go to the first level - Core Beliefs. Search and find the core beliefs that keeps you holding to bad feeling or wrongs you don't want you continue to hold onto. You the change it and shift the original. Start a new foundation of core beliefs by breaking free from the old one.

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      Magdeleneposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for your input Dr. I'm definitely going to look into your articles some more.

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      Billie Paglioloposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Dr. T,  After reading your post, I started thinking about what's at the core of my belief system and I was shocked.  As an only child I always felt deprived having no brothers and sisters and have LIVED feeling deprived. Thank you for that insight!

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   maddotposted 11 years ago

   Answer is simple!
   Meditate..when the strong feeling of dislike comes into your mind be aware that  it is just a thought..train your mind to identify this, step back and look at your mind.
   Start with just sitting still, close your eyes and concentrate on the breath as it passes over your top lip, the thoughts will arise but continue to take the mind back to the breath. Do this 21 times everytime you feel the need. (great way to start the day and end it).
   Mindfulness is very powerful, calming and rewarding.

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   Crissyliteposted 11 years ago

   I wrote a Hub on this topic a while back. I hope it is helpful. http://crissylite.hubpages.com/hub/LoveAnyway

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   kittyjjposted 11 years ago

   You're absolutely right about not wasting your time to thinking of the past wrongs.  I like to distract myself by keeping myself busy.  Since I am not an outgoing person, I like to listen to music, read a book, watch a movie, go for a walk in the neighborhood during my free time.  As time goes by, those unhappy memories will fade.  So keep yourself busy and leave no space for bad memories to stay.  It worked for me and I hope it'll work for you too.  Take care!

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   Billie Paglioloposted 11 years ago

   I wrote an answer about this before, but here's a little trick I modified from a suggestion by a counselor.  He had asked me why I continued to feed the monster?  The image of a monster didn't work for me, so instead I decided to imagine a dragon.  I seem to be able to imagine him off of my left shoulder.   Whenever I start thinking about the past and the hurt I've felt,  I imagine that I'm ready to hand the dangerous dragon something to eat and I DON'T WANT TO.  I turn instead to the beautiful dragon that I imagine off my right shoulder.  It's a sweet, kind, and smiley dragon - like from the old movie "Pete's Dragon."   I turn away from the harmful dragon and turn towards the good dragon and feed him.  How do I feed him?  I feed him by getting right back to my work, doing something worthwhile, thinking of a gift I'm going to buy for my friend, someplace fun I want to go for the weekend, etc.  (You get the picture).  I immediately start in that direction and imagine the kind and gentle dragon smiling and growing more beautiful.  I turn all my attention in that direction.  I'm quite old to be thinking about dragons, but it's just a little image that seems to help me focus in a postive direction. It works better for me than concentrating on the breathing that people find successful in meditation. This is a bit more fun for me and makes me smile.  If it ends up working for you, I'd love to know.   Cheers, Billie

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      Magdeleneposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Using your dragon method may certainly work, especially since I am a big fan of dragons; thank you for the great idea.

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   Preethi Anushaposted 11 years ago

   The best way is to not try to stop . It will just double - up . Human nature ;-)

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   AndriyRposted 11 years ago

   My way is just to realize that the past exists only in my mind, in other words - it is not real. That is why I visualize my life as a roll of paper behind and in front of me. What's behind is the past, what's ahead - is the future. Where I am right now - is present. Then I just tear off the past and the future parts of the roll and end up with a small piece of paper. This gives me a feeling of peace.

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      Billie Paglioloposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Oh, that reminds me of a quote that says something to the effect that you can't steer your boat looking at the wake behind

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   anuwsposted 11 years ago

   Get busy yourself doing something fruitful. meet friends who makes you happy. when you get the bad feeling, start thinking about the good things which you did in the past. good times you spent.

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