How do you get through a day that was traumatic for you in the past? How do you

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   JillKostowposted 14 years ago

   How do you get through a day that was traumatic for you in the past?  How do you cope with the...
   
   leftover and unresolved emotions that haunt you all year but especially on that day?  Today, December 10th is my day.  My son fell in our parlor and had a seizure 2 years ago tonight and the horror lasted for months.  Everything ended well, but the torture me and my family endured was uncalled for.  How do I get past these feelings?  How do you handle your feelings?

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   gmmurgirlposted 14 years ago

   Hi JillKostow. I can relate to you. It's really hard to get past that traumatic event. The only way is to ask for God's help through prayers. It's really very difficult. Over a year ago, someone tried to kill me, and until now I still tremble when I see knives. I pray each time to let the trauma go away. I hope time and prayers will help you.

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   rotlposted 14 years ago

   Distract yourself... don't hang around the places that remind you of the time, don't think about it, don't reminisce in any way.
   
   Go somewhere new, engage yourself in enjoyable activities... whatever you enjoy, go to the movies, go shopping, go out to eat... keep yourself busy, and try to have to fun.

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   furlontwposted 14 years ago

   I believe that one solution may lie in writing. You are here on hubpages, so I am assuming you write. This is my best suggestion to you. If there is a traumatic experience that you must deal with and feel there is no hope...writing can provide that escape while dealing with the issue on a subliminal level as well. Good luck to you JillKostow and I hope this helps you with your question.

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   Rebecca Saundersposted 14 years ago

   Hi Jill, I hope Dec 10th wasn't as bad as anticipated for you.
   
   Anniversaries are tough and the memories live in our bodies - I often find I get ill in November - the month my mother passed away and I suffered a miscarriage. It was a revelation for me this past November - despite these events happening years ago. My body was telling me that on some level I was still grieving and holding on  to the grief.
   
   Just realising this created a big shift for me. I allowed myself to sit with the feelings that arose and let them flow through me, including the guilt, anger at life and sense of rejection I felt.
   
   Allowing yourself to feel the feelings is really important. They're there for a reason - not for wallowing in - but for telling us there is still pain....let it wash over you for a bit....breathe deeply for a while, then make a plan to do something special with your family to commemorate the fact that you all survived it well.
   
   All the best Jill...hope this was of some help!

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   MarionAnnposted 14 years ago

   Hi Jill,
   
   I meditate on a regular basis and this has given me to the tools to be calm and grounded during traumatic events that have happened in the past or this very moment.
   Don't avoid the thoughts and feelings just let them be there just as they are.
   
   Cheers
   Marion Ann ~

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   catydid52posted 14 years ago

   Hi Jill:
   I find that the best way to deal with leftover and unresolved emotions is to face it head on. I would first define which unresolved emotions have stayed with you for two years. Be specific and name them, then ask  God to take them from you, for He can do what we can't.
   
   Negative energy can remain with us for a very long time until we decide to release it. If we concentrate on positive things they will come to pass in our lives. If we concentrate on negative things they also will come to pass.
   
   Our thought life can affect our past, present and future. When thoughts, flashbacks and memories assault you about that difficult day that you have already come through, tell yourself out loud that you will not think about the terror you experienced, or dwell on it.
   
   Realize the fact that your son is here today because his time had not come, he has a work still to do, even though something tried to cut him off.

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   internett1t3posted 14 years ago

   I think things that can help with leftover and unresolved emotions is to pray and pray. the reason why is it happening is not that clearly seen but come to think of it "God takes away when He has something better to give" focus on the bright side of life and appreciate every little things/ Let the pain be felt then remind yourself that God is with you that's why you are strong and you can do surpass it.

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   joleenruffinposted 14 years ago

   I trust in God. Its not always easy, but prayer has God me through many traumatic situations,

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    GetFitRightposted 14 years ago

    Thank you for posting this question. The same day of this year I had my traumatic event I was driving to work and nearly passed out I could feel myself falling away from myself and my vision going black if my body didn't react quick enough with adrenaline I would probably be in the hospital right now and that scares me. I have panic attacks that make me feel like I am going to faint when I drive now. I feel so out of control and can not get the feeling out of my head. So thank you for posting so that I can also enjoy the answers it has only been a few days for me though I am sure that for you it feels the same. Thanks again for the post.

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    imatellmuvaposted 14 years ago

    I would say count yourself fortunate. You didn't say if your son had this one isolated seizure, or if and I hope he isn't diagnosed with epilepsy.
    
    My son had epilepsy. The first seizure was at the age of 5, and he did not have another until age 7, but then continued with seizures until he was 14. My son also had asthma, diagnosed at age 2, and continued with this illness until age 9. So, there was a (2) year overlap between each illness. Both illnesses were so severe that he was always hospitalized.
    
    Once my son was hospitalized for a seizure and shared a room with a boy who also had epilepsy. It was during this hospital stay, that I realized no matter how traumatic this is for us, we are fortunate. This boys seizure activity was so severe that he had seizures at regular intervals, like every hour or so, which was not enough time for his body to recover. His seizures caused him to be mentally deficient. The poor child had to wear a helmet, spent most of his time in the hospital, unlike my son who spent a lot of time there. He rarely had visitors, except for his mom who stopped by only one of the (3) days we were there, and only for a 1/2 hour on that day.
    
    Find a way to resolve the emotion and trauma of the event. While you're in despair, your child remembers nothing about the seizure, except what you explain. They can possibly explain the aura that occurs, immediately before the onset of the convulsions. You can contact the Epilepsy Foundation for information and support. Or you can stay in touch with me. I'm sorry if I sound hard, I don't mean to, but parents of a child who have had seizure activity have to resolve their issues quick and fast for their children. My son is 23 now and has been seizure free for 8 years..

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    mandyfposted 14 years ago

    Well I always say that there is a positive for every negative. Even if it miniscule and hard to find. I was raped at 9 years old and for a long time was tortured by it. It took away my innocence and childhood. But the positive is that I am strong and let no one take advantage of me I learned to stick up for myself and be a survivor and fighter. A strong willed woman with a mind of her own. 
    
    Though your son fell and siezed he is still much a part of your life today. You still get to smell his hair and kiss his cheek and feel his warmth next to you. You still get to watch him grow into a young man and hear his voice everyday.   Lesson is you should be thankful for what you have right now here in front of you. It could have been much worse. It does NOT make you a bad parent because your son was simply being a child and got hurt. It makes you an awesome parent for caring so much that it still haunts you today. But it shouldnt.  I think December 10th should be a reconing of How much you truely realized how much you love your son and a triumphant day that you were a caring loving thoughtful overwhelmed and brilliant parent.

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    Toby Hansenposted 14 years ago

    I just do not recognise the event anymore.

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    Iontachposted 14 years ago

    Oh I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you and your son!
    We all generally go through a LOT of s*** in our lifes, stuff we all consider uncalled for and that we do not deserve. Sometimes we need to go through certain things to help us grow and become stronger, sometimes the things we go through are horrendous, but when we do get over them we ARE stronger.
    
    Years ago I was in a VERY bad relationship, for 3 years. My ex had a problem with his temper and used to be very abusive mentally and physically. The weird thing is, the mental abuse was the worst. Those memories and emotions attached took a while to heal fully, but when they did, I was such a stronger person.
    I know what you mean when you say you have days that bring sadness to you, mine is Christmas day and the night of Newyears eve. I still do have a little apprehension when those days arrive, but each year the sadness get much less and less.
    Time is definitely a healer! Plus it's great when you make new good memories on those specific days.

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