Is there a substitute word for "forgive"?

1. 82

   KatyWhoWaitedposted 11 years ago

   Is there a substitute word for "forgive"?
   
   When we've been betrayed or emotionally devastated by someone, it seems as if the key to mental health of the person betrayed is forgiveness.  However, "forgive" doesn't work for some people.  "Understanding" the offender, especially someone who has left a marriage, also can be limited in its usefulness since it implies the betrayed person's own responsibility (whether real or assumed) in causing the betrayal.  Is there ANOTHER word that someone has used to wrap his or her head around the concept of forgiving?

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2. 80

   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   Absolve, Pardon, Excuse, or Release are all synonyms for the word (forgive). However I believe what the betrayed person is actually seeking to do is "let go" and "move on". As long as you keep thinking about something and let it fester you're actually locking yourself up in a prison of your own making. Once you forgive it means you are going to stop dwelling on it.
   Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you!

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   1. 82

      KatyWhoWaitedposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks DS.  I think I like "release"!  "Tolerate" or "I am tolerant of the situation" has also just come to me. I think we often get over emotional hurdles with just the right word or quote - especially right brain thinkers. Thank You!

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3. 0

   SandCastlesposted 11 years ago

   Another word for forgive would be, "Let Go".
   
   You can forgive someone and let go of a variety of things (the need to retaliate, the unproductive anger that is stopping you from living well; everyone's letting go will be personal).
   
   And forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. Some people think forgiveness means that they have to continuuing having a relationship with someone. They might choose to stay in contact but they don't have to. They can forgive (let go) and choose to stay away from someone.

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   1. 80

      dashingscorpioposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Very true!

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   2. 82

      KatyWhoWaitedposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      SandCastles, good points!  I read an essay that forgiveness starts with understanding the person.  I'm struggling with that because I'm connecting understanding with my own culpability in the situation and that's hard for me to take.

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4. 0

   ahorsebackposted 11 years ago

   Acceptance ! One of the five stages of trauma/stress  . And the last ........!.

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   1. 82

      KatyWhoWaitedposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I like that.  "Acceptance" is close to "tolerating" which I can do.  I wish there was a brand NEW word like "fanaska" or something as in "I can fanaska my friend for falling in love with my husband. (tee hee).  Maybe a different language has a word.

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5. 69

   visionandfocusposted 11 years ago

   I second both "let go" and "accept". Also, it's worth pointing out that not forgiving is akin to setting oneself on fire and expecting the other person to burn. Just not gonna happen.
   Also, forgiveness is not condoning. It is merely dropping off the unwieldy baggage you are carrying and giving yourself a chance to heal.
   Unforgiveness, resentment, anger, hatred--all these negative emotions are damaging to your physical and mental health, so the sooner we get rid of them, the better off we are.

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