In a healthy marriage how often should couples have sex on average, daily, weekl

Jump to Last Post 1-6 of 6 discussions (10 posts)
  1. shuck72 profile image79
    shuck72posted 9 years ago

    In a healthy marriage how often should couples have sex on average, daily, weekly, monthly?

  2. dashingscorpio profile image81
    dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

    There is no "magic formula" as every individual has his or her own sex drive. Ideally the goal is to marry someone whose libido is similar to your own. Even with that later on there could be medical issues that arise or stressful events outside of the bedroom, and raising children, which may make sex the last priority for someone.
    I've read in the past that the average number of times a married couple has sex is 2-3 times per week. However I don't believe they took into account the lengths of the marriages. Another article defined a "sexless marriage" as any marriage where a couple has sex less than 12 times per year. Nevertheless it did point out that in the end all that matters is if the (couple) is happy/content with their sex life.
    Naturally if one person wants sex 4 times a week and their mate feels once a week is ideal there could be problems. Over the course of a year you'd be looking at  208 times VS 52 times. That's a long ways from being "equally yoked." Maybe it's possible they could somehow meet in the middle or the person with the lower sex drive is willing to sexually please their mate without intercourse from time to time.
    Lastly it's possible that two people are never going to be sexually compatible. Most couples during the "infatuation phase" of a relationship or "honeymoon period" appear to be (mutually) desirous of passionate sex. Sometimes after there is an "emotional investment" or "commitment" one relaxes and reverts back to their (natural) libido. The person with the higher drive will feel as though they've been duped or fell victim to a "bait & switch".
    In the end a person has to decide if sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker.
    Not long ago I posed that question on HP and 90% of people stated sexual incompatibility was NOT a good reason to end a marriage.
    However I believe if people were asked: Would you rather your mate leave you or cheat on you? Most people would in fact say they prefer their mate to leave them!
    Lots of sexually unhappy married people choose to stay and cheat.
    The underlying spirit of a “monogamous relationship” is the belief that one is “forsaking all others” (because) they have someone who is “committed” to fulfilling their sexual needs.
    No one gets married or enters into a monogamous relationship to STOP having sex! A relationship without sex is pretty much a great “friendship” and a marriage without sex is little more than being “roommates with the same last name”

    1. shuck72 profile image79
      shuck72posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the response, very insightful.

  3. WiccanSage profile image92
    WiccanSageposted 9 years ago

    I don't believe there is a 'should'... as long as both are satisfied with their sex life that should be all that matters. Some people have a higher sex drive, others have a lower sex drive. It becomes less important to some couples as they age, or if people get sick, go on medications, etc.; when you have kids and everyone is tired and busy the sex life can have its dry spells.

    I think it's more important that they're intimate in some way-- whether it be sex or just cuddling on the sofa watching movies, or holding hands and saying I love you freely. And if one or both are unhappy with the sex life, it's important they communicate and find a compromise.

  4. AnnaCia profile image77
    AnnaCiaposted 9 years ago

    I think couples should agree about this.  Not all are the same and can reach a goal regarding their intimacies.

  5. connorj profile image69
    connorjposted 9 years ago

    https://usercontent2.hubstatic.com/11828621_f260.jpg

    I would conclude the answer is precisely and quite harmoniously as much as both want. Mathematically it could be represented by x and y= amount. NOTE: this is not x or y = amount. Keep in mind, one would not want to pressure their other half for something that one knows the other half does not want if they are truly in love. Yet two people in love should be an optimized unselfish state for both; thus, the spirit of love would suggest that less than once a week would be too little. If people are truly in love one could also conclude that their enjoyment together may not be centered on sex. It may perhaps be centered on spending every moment with this person either to gaze at or simply share the moment together...

  6. Evane profile image62
    Evaneposted 9 years ago

    Sex is not something to be forced nor be made an obligation. It is a mutual thing. It is made out of love and not lust.

    1. dashingscorpio profile image81
      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed. However it's unrealistic to expect one's mate to "forsake all others" if they are not willing to have sex with her or him. People have sex all the time without love. Sex can be physical expression of love. However at it's core it's an urge

    2. Evane profile image62
      Evaneposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Why are we talking about sex when there is more to life than this. My gosh

    3. dashingscorpio profile image81
      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Evane, There is more to life than any (one) subject. We're talking about sex here because shuck72 asked a question about sex. Makes sense to me. Everyone has their opinion.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)