Your thoughts about these 'Death' questions, please.

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   LongTimeMotherposted 6 years ago

   I was approached by a local student attempting to gather people's opinions/thoughts about 'Death'. I happily shared my thoughts and was surprised to hear she's having trouble gathering enough data for her major work. There's been a few significant deaths recently within our local community so I guess her timing is the problem, but she's worried about her deadline. So I figure there may be a few kind-hearted folk here on HP willing to participate and help her out.
   
   She's intending to 'quote' some of what we say, but will not be using names. (If you don't want to publish your comment here, you could send me an email and I'll pass it on to her. Thanks.)
   
   Here's the general idea of what she's looking for ... (No need to answer everything but I found it quite an interesting process and had lots to say.)
   
   - Your age bracket (don't have to be too specific) and gender.
   - When your time comes, would you prefer 'warning' so there's time to do things ... or would you prefer your death to be quick and unexpected. Why?
   - Are you wanting to be buried ... or cremated? Why?
   - What kind of death issues have you discussed with your family? (Why or why not discuss death with them?)
   - Would you rather die alone ... or surrounded by family. Why?
   - Have your thoughts on Death changed over the years? How?
   - Are there any specific events that cause you to think about your own death?
   - What are the three key things you hope to leave behind when you die? (Bit of an explanation.)
   - What kind of things do you have on your 'bucket list'?
   
   She asked a few other questions but I can't find the actual question list we discussed. Any thoughts inspired by the above list will undoubtedly be helpful. I do know she's particularly interested in age bracket of everyone who comments though. To help her look for similarities or differences, I guess.
   
   I don't think I'm allowed to give my email address here, but it is available via my profile. Thanks again.
   LTM.

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      ChristinSposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Your age bracket (don't have to be too specific) and gender.  Mid 40's female
      
      - When your time comes, would you prefer 'warning' so there's time to do things ... or would you prefer your death to be quick and unexpected. Why? 
      
      For me personally, I'd like a bit of warning perhaps just because I want to get things in order, but for the sake of my family no.  I've witnessed a lot of suffering through cancer etc. and for me I wouldn't want my kids to have to deal with the emotional trauma of watching a slow death. If I lived in a Euthanasia state, it might be different. 
      
      - Are you wanting to be buried ... or cremated? Why?
      I want to be cremated and have mine and my husbands cremains mixed and split among our kids.  We often joke we want to be used as Halloween props in the future.  Halloween is my birthday and we have always had a big celebration because we all love the holiday (and have a dark, strange sense of humor) I think it would be a great way to honor me lol - but I understand if my family opts for traditional cremation and scattering me to the winds - what will I care right?
      
      
      - What kind of death issues have you discussed with your family? (Why or why not discuss death with them?)
      I have been very adamant with my family that I do not ever want to be in a vegetative state and to unplug the machines if something like that should ever happen. 
      
      - Would you rather die alone ... or surrounded by family. Why?
      I tend to be a private person.  I'd want to say goodbye probably, but then be left alone honestly.
      
      - Have your thoughts on Death changed over the years? How?
      Not really.  I've been surrounded by death since I was a child and I think that it doesn't frighten me as bad as it does many.  I do worry about not suffering through the process, but I had an NDE at one point and it was peaceful and now I'm not really afraid.  I'm more concerned with living as fully as I can more than obsessing about my exit.
      
      - Are there any specific events that cause you to think about your own death?
      I try to focus more on loving my family and living in a way that I don't have regrets.
      
      - What are the three key things you hope to leave behind when you die? (Bit of an explanation.)
      Wisdom - I am focused on growing as a person, being open to growth and change and I encourage that in my boys too.  We spend time having conversations about what it means to be human and are all pretty philosophical at times.
      
      Love.  I hope people will remember me and feel love for me and know that I loved them.
      
      Humor.  I laugh at everything and have a weird, dark sense of humor that my husband thankfully appreciates.  I hope that our weird humor makes a lasting impression on people and that when I did they can say - man she was strange, but she sure did make me laugh!
      
      - What kind of things do you have on your 'bucket list'?
      I have a ton of things on there from the serious to the totally ridiculous - life is absurd, so is my list.

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2. 95

   Kierstin Gunsbergposted 6 years ago

   have her look up the group "Crowdsourcing Central" on Facebook, it's really helpful I will try to answer before the day is out!

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3. 95

   Kierstin Gunsbergposted 6 years ago

   I didn't find your email address but feel free to share this with her:
   
   - Your age bracket (don't have to be too specific) and gender.
   
   Late 20’s, female.
   
   - When your time comes, would you prefer 'warning' so there's time to do things ... or would you prefer your death to be quick and unexpected. Why?
   
   I would like some warning because I have small children and would want to get all of the legalities in order. If it were later on, when my kids were grown, I’d rather have things sudden so they don’t have to deal with the heavy emotion of illness.
   
   - Are you wanting to be buried ... or cremated? Why?
   
   Cremated because it’s more streamlined.
   
   - What kind of death issues have you discussed with your family? (Why or why not discuss death with them?)
   
   I’ve discussed what I would want to happen with my kids but I don’t talk about or think about it much because I’m pretty young.
   
   - Would you rather die alone ... or surrounded by family. Why?
   
   I don’t know on this one. It’s kind of hard to think about because I have little kids and that’s just a terrible thought.
   
   - Have your thoughts on Death changed over the years? How?
   
   I used to fear it more than I do now. I guess I just have less anxiety about the future, but of course I also take it more seriously because I’m a mom now.
   
   - Are there any specific events that cause you to think about your own death?
   
   Maybe just in passing. I don’t think about it often because it makes me sad and I don’t have time to go there because my kids are watching me and need a mom who sets an example of strength and bounce.
   
   
   - What are the three key things you hope to leave behind when you die? (Bit of an explanation.)
   
   1. Money for my kids
   2. Physical memories for my kids - photos, cards, notes, etc.
   3. An uncluttered life. Although I want to leave memories for my kids, I also don’t want them to have a lot of “stuff”, whether physical or emotional or legal to wade through.
   
   - What kind of things do you have on your 'bucket list'?
   
   To see my kids through to their own adulthood and to have built up a life that helps me to provide for them even after I’m gone.
   Also, to take my kids to Legoland.

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4. 92

   LongTimeMotherposted 6 years ago

   I suspect you’re both destined to be quoted ... and I doubt anyone else would suggest being used as a Halloween prop, lol. Thanks for participating.

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5. 92

   LongTimeMotherposted 6 years ago

   Giving this another prod in case there’s fresh thoughts from anyone. Saw the student today ... nearing the project’s deadline.

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