Letters to be read upon death?

1. 96

   peeplesposted 9 years ago

   Letters to be read upon death?
   
   Do any of you have letters you have written to be opened when you die? If so would you be willing to share if you just write the basic love stuff or what else you might include in them? (ps I hate being an adult and having to do these kind of things!)

   replyreport
2. 40

   ChristinSposted 9 years ago

   I have a journal for each of my kids, filled with favorite things, some of my art, some sentiments, things I would want future generations to know about me stuff of that nature. 
   
   What I need to do is get serious about a living will - so that I can be comfortable knowing I wouldn't be allowed to languish on and on brain dead on a machine, things of that nature.  Also I want it in writing what I want done with my remains (I want to be a tree lol)
   
     We never know what could happen.  I think a letter is a nice idea.

   replyreport
   1. 97

      Kylyssaposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I'd suggest you research the laws in your state if you wish to be cremated or have anything else non-traditional done with your remains. We had to collect notarized statements from relatives to cremate my dad despite his written wish to be cremated.

      replyreport
   2. 84

      tsmogposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Me too regarding a living trust vs. a normal will. With a living trust normally there is what is called a pour-over will. I don't think I have enough assets for a living trust. Thank you Kylyssa for the info on cremation. I learned something valuable

      replyreport
   3. 96

      peeplesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Christin. Writing goodbye letters feels awful, but I guess it is better to put it all in writing than leave without a goodbye. Maybe I should add some other things in like pictures.

      replyreport
   4. 40

      ChristinSposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Kylyssa, it's so odd to me how things are so overly regulated with such matters.  You'd think a living will should be ample. I'll definitely look into the law and curious to know how that follows if you move states too.

      replyreport
   5. 95

      MizBejabbersposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      @ Tim, if you own a home and a car, you have enough assets for a living trust. If you have to go into a nursing home for any reason, a living trust will protect those assets for your spouse or heirs. There is a time limit for it to become effective.

      replyreport
3. 97

   Kylyssaposted 9 years ago

   I have letters to be opened when I die, but they are practical things rather than good-byes or mementos. I have all my passwords, my bank account information, and my request to be cremated in a folder so my surviving loved ones will have an easier time of handling my leftover financial affairs and remains.
   
   I prefer to give letters of love and appreciation to people while I'm alive.

   replyreport
   1. 84

      tsmogposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I too have a Master File on my PC for making any transition easy for the executor of my estate. I have like you suggested all the accounts listed with passwords and links how to close them. Plus, a PDF copy of my will is there+easy to read inventory

      replyreport
   2. 96

      peeplesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Practical is good. I too have the practical things written out for my husband, but just began writing out the goodbyes. It's mildly depressing! lol but I guess something we have to think of as adults.

      replyreport
4. 95

   MizBejabbersposted 9 years ago

   I haven't done that yet. What I want to do is to provide a full genealogical review of our family(ies), including tales my parents told me about themselves and their parents. I've had a strange relationship with my children because of interference by an ex husband, so I won't be writing any mushy stuff to my kids because, frankly, I don't think they deserve it. They are learning the truth now, so that is enough. I'm especially happy to have cleared the air with my oldest who has carried an ex-husband induced grudge since he was a teenager.

   replyreport
   1. 96

      peeplesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      A family tree is a neat idea also. My children are still young so I am sure I will have to revise as they become adults. Thanks!

      replyreport
5. 84

   tsmogposted 9 years ago

   A great question peeples. One I have pondered the last two years growing mature in my youth ;-) I have tossed and turned on this especially considering if I have knowledge beforehand such as a terminal illness. Would it be better before or after for a letter? Would before be considered selfish or seeking sympathy? I dun'no . . .
   
   No matter, I have not children. I do have siblings and there is their children dear to my heart. Presently I have items of my parents and grandparents. I have them marked who gets which one and enough for all at this time. Grand nephews and nieces not considered. Those items are not necessarily any great value monetarily, however each have a story, are unique, and are sentimental for me. I would definitely write a letter in regard to each and why a person chosen to receive it.
   
   I really do not wish for a funeral. I kinda' like Christin's reply she wants to be a tree. I have considered my ashes being spread at a spot I like to go to on a mountain near here. Good enough for me.
   
   A joking jest I have always shared with close friends is you are invited to my party when I go. The replies are like what band, bar-b-q, and where? So, taking that half seriously I have a saving account for that. Maybe a letter read to everyone family and friends would be cool with a favorite song played by the band.
   
   Possibly a poem or set of lyrics maybe sung by the band. I have friends musically inclined to help put those lyrics to music. Bottom line is I wish to place more emphasis on the wake. I have images in my mind from cinema of those Jazz wakes at New Orleans.

   replyreport
   1. 96

      peeplesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Very cool! I want to be cremated and tossed in the river while my husband plays Free Bird with only the closest to me there. I wanted to make sure it was all step by step written out so my husband doesn't have to remember all that. Thanks for answer!

      replyreport
   2. 95

      MizBejabbersposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Tim, my aunt left a will, but outside of that she wrote names on the items and heirlooms she wanted individuals to have. The relative in charge of her estate pulled off the tags and kept the items for himself.

      replyreport
   3. 84

      tsmogposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Sad MizBejabbers. I ran into a similar challenge with heirlooms with what a parent said contrast another parent later. Although not as your experience, it was still a sharp point between siblings with a few heirlooms.

      replyreport
6. 60

   fpherj48posted 9 years ago

   Strange that I stumbled upon your question only one day after sternly reminding myself that I MUST get myself busy on my "Last writings!"  This includes my will, which is so outdated, I need to re-do the entire thing.
   
   I have been writing letters to my sons throughout the years and keeping them safely tucked away.  They are all (or should be) aware of my last wishes in terms of my demise and what I want.  However, I'm also aware that they needn't follow my instructions if they choose not to.  I really just want them to be comfortable, whatever they do. 
   
   What is most important to me at this point is to be very explicit about bequeathing my assets amongst them.  I have no doubt that they will be fair & considerate with one another, but it's important that the "legal" parts be spelled out carefully.  I would not want any of my sons to have to go through any red tape nonsense over their mother's estate.  The less stress and frustration the better.
   
   A personal letter to each of them is something I will surely take care of asap......as I realize I'm getting older every minute!!

   replyreport
   1. 96

      peeplesposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I agree the legal side needs to be explained. I broke down how to deal with the Social security to get death benefits should I pass while my kids are still young. Damn this grown up stuff! Lol!

      replyreport
   2. 84

      tsmogposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Smart consideration peeples. I never gave thought to Soc Sec benefits. I will now!

      replyreport