Is it okay to avoid family members that you just don't like?

1. 86

   Efficient Adminposted 11 years ago

   Is it okay to avoid family members that you just don't like?
   
   If you just can't seem to get along with parents or siblings, etc... and just can't get along and enjoy each other's company, is it okay to avoid them altogether?  What if you disown them?

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2. 72

   lburmasterposted 11 years ago

   It seems to work for me. I used to have a favorite cousin who always treated me like a sister. Then he grew up and started complaining about money worse than Scrooge. Now, I try to avoid him even though he invites me to his house every New Years.

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3. 67

   hockey8mnposted 11 years ago

   If you have a justifiable reason (whatever that means).  If you can't get a long with someone and it affects your life or both your lives, I don't think it is really worth it.  However, I do believe it is worth the effort to work things out and talk with the other individual about your problems.  Don't just through it away without putting your best effort forward.  Maybe not totally avoiding them, but going to family functions together and not speaking to them as much.  If that doesn't work and a family gathering always turns into a fight then, it might be best to part ways for a while and give it a shot later on down the road.

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4. 72

   samnashyposted 11 years ago

   I think if your quality of life is improved by not having them in your life then 'yes'.  If you know that you've tried your best to get on, then maybe just move on.   I have a family member who has caused so much trouble and blames everyone else, I do try and avoid at all costs, but if I am in the same company I am respectful and courteous.  If I don't like a certain behaviour towards me or another family member then I just leave the situation. = no guilt whatsoever.

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5. 74

   loveofnightposted 11 years ago

   I have a niece that I have disassociated myself with. After years of trying to find a common ground on which we could get along I found it to be fruitless. The way that she would treat my mother was unexceptable. I have come to believe that there are toxic people that we don't need in our lives.Sometimes all we can do is wish them well and leave them alone.

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6. 61

   Asalexanderposted 11 years ago

   I guess it depends on the situation.  There are times I'd prefer to avoid some family but I have to take into consideration how it would affect my whole family (husband and children).

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      faisalb87posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Great...

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7. 69

   mvillecatposted 11 years ago

   Yes, yes, and yes. I have never understood the reasoning behind suffering through the company of someone you do not like simply because you are related to them. My husband and I both have had to seperate ourselves from chaotic, troublemaking family members for our own sanity. If someone disrupts your peace of mind, then there is no reason to entertain their company for just the sake of them being family.

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   Stasialightposted 11 years ago

   Absolutely, a lot of times it is the only way. I have found these " breaks" essential.

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      gmwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      A+++

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9. 40

   faisalb87posted 11 years ago

   It’s all depends upon situation... But no one is more then a family member...

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10. 93

    mikejhcaposted 11 years ago

    I don't think you should avoid family members all together.  People do change and they are your family.  In my opinion you should avoid them but not all the time.  When you have problems you should try to fix them.  You do not want to get into the habit of disowning people or you are not going to have many friends.  It is probably better to use what you know to get along with them better.  Maybe it will help you get along better with other people and teach you to control your emotions.

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11. 40

    Miss Tillmanposted 11 years ago

    absolutely!! They say blood is thicker than water, but if it's bad blood, you need water to refresh. Not everyone that is blood will have the same views or opinions on the other family members lifestyle and/or choices.  You have to be your own person, and if your relatives don't like it, or can't accept it, you have to leave them out of your life.  You should only want positive people involved in your life anyway!! Me and my father have not held  a  conversation since 2004. Yes I am his only child, and yes I still think about him, and would love to get our relationship back, but he doesn't approve with my choice to be in a biracial relationship.  I do not owe him an apology, yet he should open his eyes to the only grandkids he has and learn to love them for the great little people they are, not for what color their skin is. So with that being said, if people can't accept you or you have nothing good to talk to them about then its best you say hello and move on. Don't waste your time on people who wouldn't waste their time on you! Hope this helps!

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12. 86

    Efficient Adminposted 11 years ago

    Thank you everyone! These are all terrific answers and great insight into this subject! Thank you very much for sharing and responding.

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13. 61

    geetbhimposted 11 years ago

    It all depend on the situation if you are strong enough to face the situation means to tolerate them than don't avoid them give them time and work out the things, if you are not strong can't take things as simple than avoid them don't put yourself in a situation that stress you out.

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14. 61

    Penny Gposted 9 years ago

    I usually tell them, I love you but cannot be a part of your life. We are too different and it makes us and others around us feel that way too. I think a text or letter is fine, but I don't feel inclined to answer.

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    padmendraposted 8 years ago

    In my opinion having a family means you have a social security and recognition as well. Your family will also be there with you at the time of need. However, if some of the family members do not support your views or go against you unnecessarily, you may leave the particular person but not the  family as a whole.

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       Amalia Hopeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       Yes that's true. I really wish my sister was more supportive of me like she used to be. That was before she got with the wrong crowd

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    Alyssa Nicholposted 7 years ago

    My answer is a resounding yes. Just because someone is related by blood, does not mean that you have to accept that person in your life. To me, family is not made up of people who you are related to, but the people who add quality to your life - the ones who would do anything for you.

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       gmwilliamsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       EXACTLY.   My mothers' siblings, socioeconomic parasites, only called her for MONEY.  After she died, I HAVE DISOWNED SUCH DRIVEL!  The GREAT THING about being an only child is CHOOSING one's family.  I have a GREAT COUSIN who has MY BACK!

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17. 84

    gmwilliamsposted 7 years ago

    
    
    Definitely.  People usually don't have close/warm relationships w/those they dislike, detest &/or hate so why should family members be any different.   However, it is not so-called societally sanctioned to dislike, even hate family members.  The unwritten, preordained rule is family uber alles no matter what.  However, there is much toxicity in families & the larger the family, the more toxicity.   People oftentimes tolerate negativity from family that they WOULDN'T tolerate from anyone else.   
    
    
    Many people suffer in silence because of family members.  So it is quite intelligent, even prudent & mentally healthy to cut off all ties from family members that we find toxic, distasteful, & otherwise negativity.  One wouldn't tolerate negativity from a friend or associate, so one shouldn't tolerate negativity from family members.   Some smart people even DISOWN family members because of family toxicity. Life is too short to be mired in.....negativity, darkness, & toxicity, especially from family members.  CUT THOSE TIES......

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       Amalia Hopeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

       That's very true. I know it hurts. I used to be very close to my sister until she got with the wrong crowd and changed for the worse. She is related by blood, but I just don't consider her family anymore

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    Amalia Hopeposted 7 years ago

    Sad to say but it is possible to have people (even your own siblings) put you do. From my own experience, I've cried myself to sleep many nights and I've put a lot of effort into making peace. It does come to a point where you did your part but someone just doesn't want to cooperate. Do your best to make peace but if all else fails, avoid them. You may be blood related but you can secretly not consider them family. I know it hurts but it's reality.

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19. 60

    Alan Graceposted 6 years ago

    NO! Whenever you feel abhorrence you must repent. It will eliminate vengeance https://goo.gl/Ad3J7K

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    Dana Abbottposted 6 years ago

    Yes! Very much yes! I have two relatives who did nothing but bad to my family for years. I still to this day not speak to them. My whole immediate family forgave them but now I have a husband, daughter, and myself to think about. I do not have time for toxic people in my life. I know I will never enjoy their company or ever get along again. Good luck!

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21. 60

    KayceeLposted 6 years ago

    Yes. Live your life as happy and peaceful as much as possible. If someone or somebodies drag you down, talk about you the moment you leave a room, and/or attack you verbally as a person then walk away when you're ready and strong.

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    Guckenbergerposted 6 years ago

    I honestly think that one sometimes should do this. Your mental health is important.

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    Ralph Castroposted 6 years ago

    I think that is not a good idea, disowning your own family. I think you just need to be patient and just love them unconditionally. At the end of the day he/she is your family.

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    1. 84

       gmwilliamsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

       

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24. 82

    Mark O Richardsonposted 4 years ago

    People can be difficult. We don't choose our family (except for a spouse/partner typically). I have a brother that is very different from me. He is very difficult and, I would say, is toxic. But he doesn't want a relationship with me. So I guess it is for the best. But I think it is best to try to work out and discuss issues whenever possible.

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25. 63

    DominiqueCMposted 4 years ago

    If things are better for you, then yes. It's not always ideal, but if you feel that things are better by avoiding them, then sometimes that's just the best thing you can do.

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