Bullies and vindictive people with power

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  1. profile image0
    PrettyPantherposted 4 years ago

    Do you stand up to bullies? Do you stand up to bullies in some circumstances but not others? Do you stand up for coworkers who are being bullied? Friends? Family Classmates? Strangers?

    Here is why I ask. Many of us have trouble understanding how a good person could vote for a bully, then watch that bully use the power of the presidency to continue bullying,  and still think he is fit to lead.

    I have, at various times in my life, stood up to bullies, and not stood up. I still feel shame over the time I did not stand up for a neighbor kid who stuttered while a group of schoolkids teased her to tears. I was only 7 and it was my first experience with that type of group bullying. In middle school, the group of girls I hung witn decided to ostracize one of our group. I didn't go along with it and continued to talk to Paula and walk home alongside her. I got a boatload of crap from the group which, at first, was scary and really hurt. But as I watched their cruel behavior continue I began to see they were not worth hanging with. They were mean, vindictive bullies. As a result of that rift, Paula and I found new, better friends. I learned a lot from that experience and it has shaped my reaction to bullies ever since. As an adult, I started a new job at an agency that had three long-term female employees who had long put up with a boss who routinely made disparaging sexual remarks to them. I was, apparently, the first to tell him it was not acceptable. Long story short, after almost being fired, we managed to convince upper management that he was the one who must go, so he was fired.

    Now,  back to present day. We have a mean, vindictive bully as president. Sure, he doesn't bully you personally. He doesn't bully your sister or your father or your neighbor or your friends. But, he does bully real people, some of whose only crime is disagreeing with him or challenging him. Gold Star families, war heroes, career diplomats. a disabled reporter.

    How can you stand by and let this happen, and also encourage it by elevating this man to President of the United States? Do you not feel shame for this? Do you think it's okay as long as it's not you personally he is bullying, or a friend or family member?

    This question is inspired by a conversation between Randy and Shar, where Shar stated that if Trump tried to bully her (specifically, grabbing her -------- as he has bragged about doing to others) that she would fight back and not allow it. My question is, why do you not only allow Trump to bully others, but encourage it by first elevating him to the presidency and then continuing to support him despite his continued bullying? Do you think bullying is acceptable? Do you think other's pain is a small price to pay to have this man do your political bidding?

    What?

    1. Randy Godwin profile image59
      Randy Godwinposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I think some are so embedded in supporting whatever he does and says, they can no longer take the high road. They enable him to do even worse things than we've witnessed thus far. Will they ever wake up and say, enough? Nope!

      1. MizBejabbers profile image87
        MizBejabbersposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        You're right about that. I was in a discussion today with a Trump supporter on FB. He wanted to know why intelligent people hated Trump. I stated that when Roosevelt said "talk softly and carry a big stick", he didn't mean "carry a big stick and scare the hell out of people." This person asked what I meant, that Trump hadn't started any wars like (named a couple of other presidents, including Bush), I replied that he'd come close enough to scare the hell out of some of us. I'm waiting for his reply. So you see, you can't reason with these people. They are under "Hitler hypnosis" (my words). I can't think of any other reason.

        1. Credence2 profile image79
          Credence2posted 4 years agoin reply to this

          MizB

          True, Theodore Roosevelt was a MAN, not a coward, rising from a sickly childhood and challenging himself during his lifetime to improve and be the best. Donald Trump is not worthy of what sticks on the bottom of Teddy's boots.

          TR did not hesitate to project rising American military might around the world as in his "Great White Fleet". But he also was reflective had a sense of responsibility toward the people and struck out against the temerity of wealth and privilege in America Society at the time. I would have been proud to have met him as the very last Republican that I can truly say was a great President.

          1. Randy Godwin profile image59
            Randy Godwinposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            There's no past POTUS we can compare Trump to, Cred. He seems to enchant his enablers like the legendary Pied Piper. of Hamlin. I do believe they would follow him off a cliff.

    2. Credence2 profile image79
      Credence2posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Bullies have some sort of feeling of inadequacy or inferiority complex. Guess that I never needed to prove anything to anyone outside of supervisors to keep my job.  Bullies always pick on the vulnerable as they are fundamentally cowards and avoid those that will even attempt to fight.

      While I never passed through that stage, most boys on the transition to men grow out of it. But, as we see with current occupant of the White House, such is not always the case.

      So, we have intimidation over integrity,  cowardice replacing courage. People accept this man in spite of his glaring deficiencies as what it is that he provides them is far more important an imaginary restoration of loss prowess or the anticipation of the same in the future. They will all excuse Trump and anything that he does to adhere to their prime directive.

      Conservatives will dance around this, but it is true all the same. I won't go into the details as it would start an argument.

      America, in considering this person an acceptable leader, disappoints me.

      1. profile image0
        PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        Your last line expresses how I feel, though I would say the emotion evoked in me watching my fellow Americans elevate and defend a man of such low character is far greater than disappointment. A mixture of shame, disappointment, and fear of what else these fine people will accept in the pursuit of their "agenda."

      2. gmwilliams profile image84
        gmwilliamsposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        Credence2, au contraire-studies show that bullies have normal even high self-esteem.  Bullies are confident.  They don't have inferiority complexes as supposed.  It is quite the opposite.  Bullies have very high self-esteem which explains why they bully.

        1. hard sun profile image78
          hard sunposted 4 years agoin reply to this

          Apologies, not Credence, but this is interesting to me. After at least fifteen minutes of searching Google Scholar it looks like there are mixed results on this. It also looks like a strong desire to conform, a sense of shame, and less satisfaction with life are motivators for those who are persistent bullies. Of course, my research is FAR from exhaustive. However, this page seems a nice summary of what I found in my cursory research:

          "Some psychological theories of bullying and self-esteem suggest that a bully's need to intimidate is evidence of a lack of self-worth. According to other studies, however, bullies may well have too much self-esteem. Their inflated self- often has  basis in reality, but it comes in handy when bullies justify their antisocial behavior to themselves and others. Theories of bullying and self-esteem suggest that while bullies do not suffer from low self-esteem, they are especially sensitive to shame, and do not want their faults and inadequacies to be visible to other people."

          So, I'd say Credence was at least mostly correct in stating that bullies have inferiority complexes even if they do have high self-esteem. They are scared of having any perceived inadequacies exposed to others.

          1. profile image0
            PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            I think the is pretty accurate.

    3. Live to Learn profile image59
      Live to Learnposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I have always stood up to bullies. I always will.

      The fact that you see one bully in Trump and can't see the toxic and bullying behavior of the powers that be on the left proves to me bullying is ok with you, as long as you agree with the objective

      1. Randy Godwin profile image59
        Randy Godwinposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        Which person on the left can compare with Trump in the bullying dept, LTL? No one on earth can compare with him in telling lies, that's for sure.

        1. profile image0
          PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

          It's just a distraction, a rationalization to make herself feel better. No President of the United States has ever belittled and insulted so many of his fellow Americans. Ever. Yet, his enablers will lamely claim others are just as bad, as though even if it were true, which it obviously is not, still wouldn't make it right.

      2. profile image0
        PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        Have you stood up to Trump?

        1. Live to Learn profile image59
          Live to Learnposted 4 years agoin reply to this

          Is that what you think you're doing? That's not what I see.

          1. profile image0
            PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            I'm sure it isn't. I wonder what supporters of Joe McCarthy saw?

            So, no , you haven't stood up to Trump?

          2. Randy Godwin profile image59
            Randy Godwinposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            Is that a yes or a no?

            1. Live to Learn profile image59
              Live to Learnposted 4 years agoin reply to this

              It's all a matter of perception Randy. I believe she believes I believe I'm defending Trump. I can't change her belief. Nor can she change mine.

              The McCarthyistic tactics of the left I see as more dangerous than Trump's behavior. You stand up to the biggest bully you see and I'll stand against the biggest bully I see.

              1. Randy Godwin profile image59
                Randy Godwinposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                Is that a yes or a no?

                1. Live to Learn profile image59
                  Live to Learnposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                  The answer is I don't see Trump as the biggest bully in the picture. So, I'm standing against the biggest bully, imo.

                  If there is more than one bully do I have to stand against the one you worry about or the one I worry about? Should I stand up to both? If so, should you?

                  Edit. One other question (I know you won't answer since I don't know if you are capable of doing so). What the democratic machine attempted to do to Trump they are now attempting to do with Sanders. Do you see similarities? If you do, will you finally stand up and defend anyone against them?

                2. profile image0
                  PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                  It's a no. She just doesn't want to flatly say so.

                  1. Randy Godwin profile image59
                    Randy Godwinposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                    I know it, Sandy. It's common for the Right. Sometimes I have to ask a question several times before it's even acknowledged. And if they don't want to answer it, it's never acknowledged.

                    Your last query to LTL may fit in this category.

              2. profile image0
                PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                Would you please provide a couple of examples of "the McCarthyistic tactics of the left" that resulted in a firing or dismissal or  even a resignation?

  2. hard sun profile image78
    hard sunposted 4 years ago

    Very well framed PP....following this as I have the exact same question. To me, the moral implications of elevating this man to President far overwhelm ANY perceived good he may be doing.

    1. Randy Godwin profile image59
      Randy Godwinposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Trump would lie to Jesus if he were still around. And probably has if he prays like he claims.

      1. hard sun profile image78
        hard sunposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        I guarantee it. And he's the religious right hero. I did see where one Christian organization of some sort said it could not support him. You'd think more would follow suit. IDK.

        1. Randy Godwin profile image59
          Randy Godwinposted 4 years agoin reply to this

          They're invested in him too much, Don. The Xtians are those who elected him, but he's so far from being any kind of moral person, I don't know why.

          I suppose if one believes an invisible sky daddy is watching over them all the time, one can believe Trump is a good guy. Go figure!

  3. profile image0
    PrettyPantherposted 4 years ago

    Well, I must say I am disappointed in the lack of response from Trump supporters. This, to me, is the crux of what deeply disturbs us who cannot abide Trump. It deeply disturbs us that our fellow Americans would elevate a mean, vindictive bully to high office. That they would turn their backs on the victims of his bullying. And, while I limited this thread to just bullying, it isn't only that.

    This man used his charity to cheat veterans. Do you find this acceptable? Conservatives have traditionally respected veterans and claim to support them, yet you ignore the reality of what kind of person one would have to be to raise money for veterans then selfishly use it for one's own benefit.

    And what about the over 100 service members suffering from brain trauma from the Iranian retaliation to Trump's killing of Solemani? The Trump administration obviously did their best to cover it up to avoid both criticism of his decision to kill Solemani and the need for U.S. retaliation, which would essentially mean war. And then he callously refers to their injuries as "a few headaches."

    Ugh. I give up trying to understand. I have no choice but to conclude you are fine with a mean, vindictive, callous bully inflicting pain on your fellow Americans as long as it doesn't personally harm you and as long as he furthers your political agenda.

    1. hard sun profile image78
      hard sunposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      The only real answer I can find now is as Randy states...they are in too deep to turn back. I say it's okay to admit you made a wrong decision. It's okay to admit you got caught up in a movement and didn't really think about the consequences. It probably happens to every American at one point or another. However, what really separates us is the willingness to admit we were mistaken and move forward. I made at least one very bad decision in my life, and I know acceptance is indeed the first step.

      1. profile image0
        PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        You know, even though I personally knew what Trump was before he got elected, and even though at the time I was horrified that so many people thought he was fit to lead, I eventually came to realize their desire to shake things up and gamble on Trump being the guy to do it. I think many thought he would straighten up and become more presidential. So, at a certain point, I could see why some chose him over the status quo. But with all that has transpired since he was elected....the trashing of McCain, the worship of murdering dictators, labeling the free press "the enemy of the people," children caged and dying at the border....just so much hate and childish vindictiveness. ..with all that, I cannot understand or forgive those who continue to support such a disgusting, low-life POS.

        UGH.

        1. hard sun profile image78
          hard sunposted 4 years agoin reply to this

          Yeah. I remember people stating that they voted for Trump with the assumption that he would start acting more Presidential, not REALLY call for a ban on Muslim immigration, etc. But, I think it's become about more than Trump at this point.

          It's become about not switching to the other side. Trump helped make it this way, and I have to admit it's a genius political strategy if ALL you care about is winning an election. At this point, many people would see changing to a Democrat vote as anti-American and akin to taking the side of another nation. This is what can happen when a President labels fellow Americans as the enemy. The world has seen this before.

          1. profile image0
            PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            I think you are right. Sadly.

            1. hard sun profile image78
              hard sunposted 4 years agoin reply to this

              Maybe...sadly. And, this makes Trump the worst President in history...by far. We can also consider the long term damage that his anti-science and anti-intellectual rhetoric will bring. I don't give a damn IF the economy were the greatest it's ever been. A President who presides over a nation being torn apart is a failure. That would be true even if that President were not one of the primary reasons for the divisions. How far will he push these divisions if he gets another term?

              1. Randy Godwin profile image59
                Randy Godwinposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                Probably two or three more terms as he never wants to be a commoner again. They'll have to use a crowbar to get him out of the WH.And then fumigate the place well.

  4. hard sun profile image78
    hard sunposted 4 years ago

    With the words and Tweets of Trump on a daily basis, I find it difficult to even respond to a comment that cannot acknowledge his behavior is off the charts, and is the definition of bullying. I mean, this guy is riding a good economy, and his re-election is in doubt mainly because he doesn't know how to behave like an adult. All the spin in the world will not change this. Then people accuse others here of not allowing disagreement just because some people disagree with them!?!? Accusing them of being the ones to initiate break of precedence? This is the same logic that gets us to: Democrats are the bullies because they do their jobs and stand up to the bully. This is how societies get WAY off track.

    1. profile image0
      PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      This.

    2. wilderness profile image95
      wildernessposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      "Then people accuse others here of not allowing disagreement just because some people disagree with them!?!?"

      And resort to name calling in an effort to degrade when their disagreement cannot be supported.  Yes, some of the people here are doing that.  "Dan Kelly Anne" is a good example.  It's the "adult" way, right?

      1. Randy Godwin profile image59
        Randy Godwinposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        Doesn't your role model call people names all of the time, Dan? Do you get angry at Trump when he does it? Or do you enjoy him calling the democratic House members names?

      2. profile image0
        PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        You do not like Kellyanne Conway, who has been with Trump since before the election and is his close personal adviser? Is being compared to Kellyanne bad?

        I was, prior to that, called a goose-stepping leftist. We're you similarly offended, or is it only offensive when it happens to you personally, which is actually the central discussion of this thread?

        Personally, I don't give a hoot what she thinks of me. Given her record of abysmally poor judgment, it means morning.

        In any case, all of this outrage from Trump supporters over name calling is both hilarious and sad.

        1. wilderness profile image95
          wildernessposted 4 years agoin reply to this

          I don't know much about Kelly Anne so cannot truly reply...except that it was obviously intended as an insult.  Do you disagree?  Did you intend your comment to be a compliment?

          You may have been called "goose stepping"...but not by me.

          Yes, the name calling is sad.  Sad and comical, for we hear how terrible it is when Trump does it, followed by the same action from the speaker.  Comical, although one must wonder about the ethics and honesty of a speaker that degrades one for such verbiage and then commits the same offense.

          1. profile image0
            PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll believe you truly care about insults when you're equally aggrieved by whoever does it, whether it's Trump himself, a Trump supporter or a Trump detractor.

            And, yes, I personally do not like or respect Kellyanne, but given your apparent agreement with her stances on pretty much everything, I'm surprised you are not flattered.

            1. Randy Godwin profile image59
              Randy Godwinposted 4 years agoin reply to this

              lol

            2. wilderness profile image95
              wildernessposted 4 years agoin reply to this

              Unlike some I will try and understand what is actually being said and meant.

              And the Kelly Anne comment was not intended as a compliment.  Not unusual from Randy but I was a little surprised to see you jump on the wagon.  It just didn't seem your style; until the Trump rants began a disagreement didn't fall to that level (that I recall, anyway).

              1. profile image0
                PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                I simply grow weary of the twisting of wrong into right and right into wrong, which you are quite good at, just like Kellyanne. And I thought my last comment made it clear I did not mean it as a compliment. I am not trying to.pretend it wasn't an insult from my perspective. I'm just surprised you see it as such, being a supporter of the policies she has been defending for years now.

                "Goose-stepping leftist" carries no such ambiguity, though.

                1. Randy Godwin profile image59
                  Randy Godwinposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                  Such indignation from a Trump supporter is laughable. lol

                  I suppose he'd dislike being told he's just like Trump as well?

                2. wilderness profile image95
                  wildernessposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                  That's what I said; you intended an insult and I understood that.  To intentionally take it as something you did not intend, to intentionally "misunderstand" your comment doesn't seem reasonable.  Certainly such an action does not contribute meaningfully to a conversation - isn't the goal to understand what is meant (and respond accordingly) rather than pretend the meaning was something else and give a response that is meaningless to all?  I mean, sarcasm can be useful but is often misunderstood in these forums - it just doesn't come across as well when there is only written words on a screen without body language, tone, etc.

                  1. profile image0
                    PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                    I understand your point and mostly agree with it.

                    But let's go back to the comment you made that elicited my comparison to Kellyanne. You quoted me then replied.

                    "And who s the biggest bully in the room?"

                    Undoubtedly the Democrat controlled House of Representatives.  They just aren't very good at it as everything they try fails miserably, but they do try!"

                    My response: "Interesting take on Congress doing it's duty of oversight, Mr. Kellyanne."

                    Was there not sarcasm in saying the House exercising their Constittional right to oversight is bullying? Or did you mean that literally? Was your goal--honestly--to have meaningful conversation? I certainly did not see it that way.

      3. hard sun profile image78
        hard sunposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        Some of the people on each side of any individual issue do this. If I respond in a forum full of Trump supporters, I guarantee you I'm going to get "ganged up on" and maybe even be called some names.

        I don't endorse the name calling, lol, but the complaint I'm responding to is that anyone who supports Trump on an issue is immediately "ganged up on." What...because more than one person does not agree with you, they are now acting inappropriately? That has been the accusation more than once now, and it mirrors Trump's passive aggressive behavior IMO

    3. Live to Learn profile image59
      Live to Learnposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Seriously? It's ok to be a bully because another bully exists?

      That makes no. sense

      1. profile image0
        PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        That's not what he said.

        1. hard sun profile image78
          hard sunposted 4 years agoin reply to this

          No, not at all. But, LTLs comment is a great example of that logic going off track once again. Standing up to bullies is now being a bully. I understand some of this is a matter of perspective. However, taking "It's ok to be a bully" out of my comment has nothing to do with perspective and everything to do with simply not wanting to admit that your guy is a bully who is tearing the country apart.

          I NEVER give in to a bully and I can certainly recognize one. I'd lived places where giving into bullies has tragic consequences. Unfortunately, too many Americans have lived in those places, and now we have a bully President to go with it. I'd be right alongside Juli Briskman if he came to our city.

          1. GA Anderson profile image88
            GA Andersonposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            I didn't remember the Juli Briskman name. So I asked my friend Google.

            Now I remember, she's the "finger" cyclist.

            It was great to see her notoriety motivated her. I don't have to be a supporter or a detractor to be glad to see her getting involved and doing something more than just talking..

            GA

            1. hard sun profile image78
              hard sunposted 4 years agoin reply to this

              It's good to read this. After all, we are all Americans. I should be able to say same the same if SHE-- I noticed my error smile-- flipped off Obama. It's not like she attempted to hurt the guy or anything.  I think I would indeed still respect her motivation and willingness to take action even if I did not like her politics. I might not like her politics actually...all I know is we share a dislike for Trump.

          2. profile image0
            PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            Hard sun, I am so sympatico with your posts I sometimes wonder if you're a long lost brother. :-)

            1. Randy Godwin profile image59
              Randy Godwinposted 4 years agoin reply to this

              And he ain't heavy! smile

              1. hard sun profile image78
                hard sunposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                I knew of the reference but couldn't remember exactly. I looked it up...now I gotta get that tune out my head. Gonna be a long day.

            2. hard sun profile image78
              hard sunposted 4 years agoin reply to this

              I see that from this side also. I admit that I sometimes just don't reply to someone, when you are active in a forum, knowing that you can do it for me.   It's good to know I'm not too far off in the sea away from everyone else. You need to take care of that great mind sis, lol.

              1. profile image0
                PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                :-)

  5. Credence2 profile image79
    Credence2posted 4 years ago

    It is interesting how those defending Trump can not identify who has been as annoying or abrasive from the "goose stepping" left.

    With all of this back and forth, perhaps they are to stubborn to admit that Donald Trump IS one of a kind.

    1. wilderness profile image95
      wildernessposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I don't know about the "one of a kind"; we've had some real characters in the White House in past years.  But he is surely a rare breed.

      1. Credence2 profile image79
        Credence2posted 4 years agoin reply to this

        True, I have made it my business to have analyze earlier Presidencies. And while I disagreed with policies of a number of GOP presidents since Teddy Roosevelt, Trump crosses the line, his style and manner is just another detriment in addition to his policies, IMHO.

  6. profile image0
    PrettyPantherposted 4 years ago

    Up is down. Wrong is right. Those who fight the bully are the bullies.

    "Whenever we say 'nationalism,' the first thing people think about, at least in America, is Hitler," she said. "You know, he was a national socialist, but if Hitler had just wanted to make Germany great and have things run well, OK, fine."

    She added: "The problem is that he wanted — he had dreams outside of Germany. He wanted to globalize. He wanted everybody to be German, everybody to be speaking German, everybody to look a different way. That's not, to me, that's not nationalism. So in thinking about how we could go bad down the line, I don't really have an issue with nationalism. I really don't. I think that it's OK."
    --Candace Owens, conservative commentator and pro-Trump activist

  7. Randy Godwin profile image59
    Randy Godwinposted 4 years ago

    Trump's enablers do indeed mimic him, Don. In more ways than one...

  8. Live to Learn profile image59
    Live to Learnposted 4 years ago

    I'm afraid I'm crying uncle. You can't convince believers that no proven facts equates to opinion. They'll just keep claiming their opinion is fact.

    1. profile image0
      PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Who claimed their opinion is fact? Wilderness when he called congressional oversight "bullying" or me when I claimed it is not?

      Pure nonsense.

  9. Randy Godwin profile image59
    Randy Godwinposted 4 years ago

    General Kelly said Vindman did exactly what he was supposed to do in Trump's Ukraine scheme. I do believe Kelly over the habitual liar.

    1. profile image0
      PrettyPantherposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      No contest.

 
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Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)