Saltines - Nature's perfect food or another Socialist plot?

1. 61

   Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

   
   
   Please support your assertions with MLA style reference notes.

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      Jewelsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      It's processed, how is it those crackers are natural?

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   wyanjenposted 14 years ago

   Good lord, I'm eating some right now!
   
   The saltine is not only made with wheat flour, it is made with enriched wheat flour. (Zesta)
   
   Zesta, red box. Nutrition facts.

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      Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Nice citation

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   ledefensetechposted 14 years ago

   Socialist plot, for sure.  Eating saltines causes a blood sugar to spike which leads to insulin resistance (Syndrome X) and then to diabetes.  One of the side effects of high blood sugar is lower cognitive functioning.  So this is obviously a plot to make American's dumb enough to swallow socialist arguments hook, line and sinker.

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      Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Ah.. but the crackers could be spread with almond butter which would prophylactically prevent the sugar spike.

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         ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         True, true the glycemic load is 0 compared to something like peanut butter, but almond butter is much more expensive than peanut butter.  So this is obviously an attempt to force the wealthy to subsidize the cost of almond butter, so that the not-so-wealthy can make good nutritional choices and cost will not be a barrier to good health. 
         
         So once again, it's a socialistic plan to steal from the haves and give to the have-nots.

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            Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            No, it is orchestrated by the almond growing robber-barrons of California.  They will sit in on all "cracker spread reform meetings" and draft legislation that requires everyone to switch to almond butter or be fined.

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               ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               How evil.  It's socialistically delicious.

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      Jewelsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      And it's working and very hard to undo.  Today America, tomorrow the world.  Ooops!  Too late.

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         ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Great, now I'm going to have to dig out my tinfoil beanie.  Thanks guys. 

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4. 69

   wyanjenposted 14 years ago

   Saltine crackers come with four  re-closeable stack packs to ensure Nature's perfect food stays crispy fresh. (Spartan)
   crunch crunch
   
   
   Spartan Brand, green and white box, 16oz 453g

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      Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Holy crap!! You really know your crackers!

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         wyanjenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Hells yes, it is Nature's perfect food.

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   B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

   FACT : where I live, in AMISH COUNTRY, the Amish tend to buy the cheapest generic brand by the case, 5 to 10 cases a week..of course they also are seen at the grocery store dumpster and the dumpster picking through who knows what behind the pizza shop..
   
   It is not a pleasant sight, but they do only bath 1 time a week, saturday night before church on sunday..
   
   
   Ugghh...now Im off topic a bit, but isn't it nice NOT being AMISH!!

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      Flightkeeperposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      They're dumpster diving?  Is it because they're too cheap or because they don't have enough food?

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         ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I'm not too sure I believe that. It's the bathing once a week thing.  Cleanliness is next to Godliness is an article of faith among the Amish.  Plus they tend to be pretty self-sufficient.  Of course we only drove through Pennsylvania Dutch country, but we met a few Amish there and they didn't smell bad or anything and we didn't notice anyone dumpster diving. 
         
         Now neo-hippies, they do dumpster dive.  Gotta love those freegans.
         
         http://freegan.info/?page_id=2

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      Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Your Amish are polar opposites of the ones I've met.  Where do these particular Amish live?

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   wyanjenposted 14 years ago

   Saltine crackers are best when used by APR20, 2010(Flap)
   crunch crunch
   
   Spartan Brand green and white box, top outer flap, Best If Used By code

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   Ghost32posted 14 years ago

   Food for thought...I like 'em, but only with Campbell's Tomato Soup.  Since that soup is red, and since I was brainwashed since birth to slurp down that exact combo, it's more likely a Communist plot than Socialist.
   
   Sorry, Ron, I know some readers don't grasp the difference between the two, but....

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      Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      At least you didn't throw in Muslims or Nazi's!

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         Ghost32posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Would have, but all of them I could find were kind of worn around the edges from already being thrown too many times....

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   B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

   Im being very honest about the Amish..
   They follow a different religion, do you know they do not pay taxes like the rest of us..I grew up amongst them for the past 30 some years..as a kid they were my next door neighbors and as an adult they are 4 landowners away..
   
   Amish are not what people believe they are, by no means..
   The biggest poy growers in the area here are amish Teenagers..
   
   You would be surprised, If I must make a hub with photos, I will..if they dont know your taking their photo as they hop out of the dumpster, I do not see he harm in it

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      ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think Ron and I are in agreement here.  You should do a hub on it.  Preferably with photos and video backing your claim.
      
      The Society of Friends are Christian, but their beliefs are more akin to the Protestant flavors of Christianity than any other form.  They don't pay taxes that's true because their beliefs forbid it.  Come to think of it, that's not a bad idea.  They don't pay Social Security and in return they have assured the feds that they will be responsible for taking care of their elderly.  Seems like a much better system than sending gramps and grams to the nursing home.

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      Ghost32posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      A quick note of caution, B.C.:  In the case of any photo showing a human who can be recognized via the photo, you need a model release from that human to cover yourself legally.  Not that many Amish are all that likely to read Hubs, though, so....
      
      Did you mean they grow a lot of "poy"...or pot?
      
      And, as Ron was asking:  Where DO these folks live?  State/county whatever?  I have to admit that I'm no expert on the Amish but that they don't even sound like any of the Hutterites or Mennonites I DO know...?

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         Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I did not know poy (poi?) could be grown.  There is a lot of hemp growing wild in Indiana Amish country, but not pot.

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   B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

   These are your Ohio Amish..
   but what goes on behind their closed doors I know alot about..
   the men are very cruel to their wives, animals, and children..
   The teens are wild, 3 am every saturday you can sit on my porch and see a few buggies pass with them "partying" or passed out, the horses know the way home..horses are smart..
   Im just going to have to make a hub on this I guess..

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10. 60

    Colebabieposted 14 years ago

    Those Keebler Elves are behind it all I tell you!

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    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

    I wil hub this..you really need to know the truth, there is a movie out about it, my child has brought it home, it is a rated R documentary..
    
    people who have lived around it know, tourists get to see what they want you to see and believe..
    
    just ask anyom=ne else from this area, there is another hubber from my area that can back me up if he happens to come across this post untill my hub is up

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    Colebabieposted 14 years ago

    Isn't hemp a type of cannabis?

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Technically yes, but with a very low THC content.  Good for rope, bad for dope.

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          Colebabieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Gotcha. There is a hemp store by school. I have a frame. Figured it was a kind you couldn't smoke (or really wouldn't want to).

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       ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Sure, but it's cannibis sativa sativa, not cannibis sativa indica which is used for medicinal and recreational pot use.
       
       C. Sativa Sativa is used in various industrial processes.  The stuff grows fast too.  25 tonnes per hectare per year.  C. Sativa Sativa only produces trace amounts of THC, small enough you couldn't smoke enough of it to get high, at least without killing yourself first.
       
       http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hemp

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    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

    sorry ghost, I meant "POT"..yes..they are completly different from the mennonite who are a clean, nice , god fearing people..the amish are cheap and unclean, they only clean up for church or to put on a tourist attraction by selling things along the road..
    
    if you do not want to believe me, its fine, but there are documentary, real documentary films about this...
    and many people in Ohio to back me up..not the city folk, but the ones who live around the communities, all amish have different sects and not all sects are like this..but many in this area are.

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    1. 68

       ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       You're making an awful lot of claims that go against what most people have experienced.  It's only natural that we ask for proof.  You've claimed documentaries have been made, great, give us some names of films so we can see for ourselves.

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14. 61

    Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

    
    
    mmmmmmmmmmm  saltines

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    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

    criminy, I feel like I am being stoned for being honest..I should just let the tourism continue without the truh being known...
    
    Im not Amish, so belive the unthruths, if you cand see behind a closed door..then you really can not see the truth. period.

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       Jewelsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       This is about saltines, not the Amish.  Do a hub.

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          ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          No it's not, it's about socialism. 

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             Jewelsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             OK.  BTW (by the way) I'd love to see that tin foil hat modeled.

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                ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                I'll have to get back to you on that, it's being resized.  Apparently my head is swelling.

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                   Jewelsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   Too many bacon wrapped saltines?

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                      ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                      Nope, that's the first I've heard of them.  They sound tasty though.

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16. 92

    habeeposted 14 years ago

    The Amish are very big into puppy mills.
    
    Saltines are an effort to diminish our individuality. All the holes are exactly the same size and are spaced the same distance apart. It's a subliminal message that we should be the same. It's provacative symbolism at its most dangerous.
    
    Abee, Holle. "Hubpages forum." November 13, 2009 issue.

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Thank you for citing your source.

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          ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          We don't need no stinkin' sources, we commune with the almighty Internet.

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17. 0

    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

    the one thing in life I do not belive in is LYING and STEALING...so Im getting stressed by just posting here tonight, Im finished...be blind and enjoy tourism at its finest lie
    
    oh, and HABEE is POSITIVLY 100 percent correct on the puppy mills!

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Calm down.
       
       Have a cracker.

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          ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Shouldn't that be "Have a cracker, Tovarich"?

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             Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Only if she spreads beluga on it.

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       Flightkeeperposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I think you should write a hub about the Amish.  I'd hate to think that the PC crowd here would think we're only picking on Muslims.

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18. 0

    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

    If you have not lived it you would never know the truth..so my entire life around me is a LIE..
    I feel personally attacked by this, and all I have done was state a few facts..
    
    Where is my buddy from Wooster, Ohio when I need him

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Didn't you join in to make "new" buddies?

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       ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Making statements without proof is not stating facts, it's makinj statements.  Nobody is calling you a liar, but we need more than just your word for it.  None of us know you and we don't have any reason to take your word for anything.
       
       Habee, damn if I didn't find some video of puppy mills.  Still Amish mills account for about 12% of the total output of mills in the US.  Where do the other 88% come from?
       
       http://www.ehow.com/about_5445676_kind- … -sell.html
       
       That's hardly indicative of a people in league with the Devil.

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19. 61

    Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

    Who knew saltines could be such a lightning rod?

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       ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       That's probably because it had the word socialist in there.  See, that word just stirs up all kinds of problems.

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20. 92

    habeeposted 14 years ago

    If you want proof about how the Amish treat their dogs, just google "Amish puppy mills." You'll find plenty of proof, including ABC and reputable newspapers.

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       Jewelsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       What are the Ohio Puppy Mills like?

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    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

    I don't need budddies who want to try and tell me the life I have lived around for many years into my 30's is a lie and basicly calling me stupid without saying it straight out..
    
    infact, I invite you all to come and see for yourselves with your own eyes!

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       OK, we're all on our way.  Please leave a light on.

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22. 92

    habeeposted 14 years ago

    Hey, BC, I believe you. I'm not saying all Amish are bad - that would be absurd. But the ones I've seen in the puppy mill business are callous, greedy, and cruel. You can tell a lot about a society and an individual by how they treat their animals.

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23. 92

    habeeposted 14 years ago

    Are the Amish allowed to eat saltines??

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Only from dumpsters.

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    habeeposted 14 years ago

    But wouldn't those be soggy, Ron??

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    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

    I'm completly done be naieve and believe what you want...
    so I saw a rhino riding a tricycle the other day...
    
    whatever

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    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

    and my porch light is on, dont mind the boxers, they will only bite by command

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27. 92

    habeeposted 14 years ago

    Come back, BC! Don't leave!

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    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

    and I dont believe in making a dog vicious , so they will not bite because they were taught the command but it has never been used yet

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    Pr0metheusposted 14 years ago

    South Park this week = win....
    
    I'm just asking questions!

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       Jewelsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hi Prometheus.

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          Pr0metheusposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Hey Jewels, how are you?

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    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

    I have proof..I live it..its all around me and has been for years..and yes, I am being called a liar, these are facts, like I said, come and see for yourself.
    
    Im done with personal attacks on me and this total ignorance, so by your "statements" I want to see proof behind them also!

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       ledefensetechposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I haven't made statements, I've been asking questions.  Unless you're talking about the saltines and socialist plot issue?

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       Jewelsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       But you have made personal attacks on the Amish, an eye for an eye would suggest you also need a tin foil hat.

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31. 92

    habeeposted 14 years ago

    They have 12% of the mills in the US, but what percentage of the population do they make up?? That's a disproportionally large amount for that one group.
    
    Okay, back to saltines. Have you guys ever had bowtie cookies made with saltines? A fellow teacher brought some to school one day. You wrap a half slice of bacon around the saltine, sprinkle brown sugar on top, and bake them. The cracker shrinks in the middle, making it look like a bowtie. They sound weird, but they're really tasty!

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    sunforgedposted 14 years ago

    Ive heard some crazy stories about the Amish when I visited Woodward,PA every summer...many on par with BC.
    
    Apparently, amish teens are not officially in the church so they are not held to such strict standards in the more lax amish communities
    
    http://www.wasteoftechnology.com/?p=85
    
    you could google "Truth about the Amish"
                      "Amish deception"
    
    Youtube has lots of videos that point out the churches relaxed attitudes towards child abuse and domestic violence
    
    cracker

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    Jewelsposted 14 years ago

    Speaking of plots, it's official "A high-fat, high-sugar diet does more than pump calories into your body. It also alters the composition of bacteria in your intestines, making it easier to gain weight and harder to lose it, research in mice suggests. And the changeover can happen in as little as 24 hours, according to a report Wednesday in the new journal Science Translational Medicine."
    
    Reach for the Macca's and coke and you're a dead duck, or an obese one at least.

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    J. McCoyposted 14 years ago

    ....wow... ok
    
    Saltines are definitely a socialist plot. Cheez-its are an integral part of the secret Right Wing Agenda. I'm afraid I can't support my assertions with MLA style reference notes because I'm part of the right wing conspiracy and did not have access to a proper ivy league education by the Elite. Therefore, I don't know what MLA stands for.
    
    Disclaimer: This was a joke. Please do not make any inferences to my religion or political preferences. I am not, nor have ever been, Amish or anti-Amish, socialist, left or right wing. Nor do I belong to any conspiracy agenda, cracker company, distributor, or their affiliates or parent corporations.

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       Pr0metheusposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Oh my god!  You're totally right!  Thank you for opening my eyes!

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       Flightkeeperposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       But you hate Obama, don't you?

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       Jewelsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Do you have a tin foil hat?

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35. 59

    Pr0metheusposted 14 years ago

    

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36. 60

    J. McCoyposted 14 years ago

    I've never met Obama. But, the tinfoil hat wearers tell me he eats Saltines.

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       J. McCoyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Not that I consort with the tinfoil hat wearers, of course!

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          J. McCoyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Oh, and please tell the men in the black helicopters that I don't have any guns.

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37. 92

    habeeposted 14 years ago

    Hi, Pro! Do you like saltines? Hee-ya in tha Souuth, we call 'em soda crackahs.

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    habeeposted 14 years ago

    BTW, my husband actually talks like that. He's from Charlotte, NC. Of course, he says "Chahlut." When we first started dating, I kept asking him where he was from just so I could hear him pronounce the word.
    
    He likes saltines, too.

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    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

    and just so you know, I am not anti- amish ..Im just speaking the truth that I have lived around for years, I have been to parts of pennsylvania, where a different sect of Amish live and they live a total differnt lifestyle than the ones in this part of Ohio do,not all amish sects are the same..I can tell people have no clue and do not realize that at all...Flip through a Wayne  / Holmes county phone book, pick a random number starting with the 419 area coe, or 330 area code and simply ask them what their amish neighbors are like..I will have my facts backed up completly!

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    Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

    Saltines are not a socialist plot.  They're God's gift to humanity (provided they aren't burned around the edges), particularly anyone with morning sickness or a 24-hour bug.

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       Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Take it to the religion forum sister.

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          Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I wasn't really thinking joking about "God's gift.." made the remark religious; but now that you mention it, I kind of think Cheetos was another one of "God's gifts".  Think the people in the religious forums will appreciate a thread about Cheetos?   

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       J. McCoyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I burn Saltines at the stake!! MUH HA HA HA!!! ....or burned with steak. ... either way, really.

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          J. McCoyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          (I'm vegetarian)

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