Getting them out of my room at night....Uggh

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   Divamommyposted 15 years ago

   I have two Little ones and i having a hard time keeping them out of my room. I will put them to sleep in there room at night but by morning they are there. I know part of the reason is i let them get away with it for years. When my room should have been off limits to them from the start. I don't want them to think that i don't love them anymore or that they have done something wrong. They have two older brothers that have left home to go to school. But i think they felt more secure when the boys were home. I don't know where to start. Sometimes my 7yrs old just will look at me as if he is confused and really don't understand why he cant sleep with mommy any more. Sometimes i just feel so mean when he is crying and i give in. I don't know what to do anymore. I have bought nite-lights and even went as far as trying to leave on the TV all night so they wont be scared. Nothing seems to be working.

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      Stevennix2001posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      wow, sorry to hear about your predicament.  well, i can't offer much advice since i've never had kids before.  however, i saw an episode of "full house" when i was a kid, where Uncle Joey gave michelle a bunch of stuffed animals and put them around her bed.  telling her that these stuffed animals will protect you at night when you sleep.  I don't know if that will help but you can always give it a try.

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      Merriweatherposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      You could try putting a mattress on the floor if you have the space, and tell them they can sleep there, but not in the bed with you.  Of course I don't know your children, but I can imagine the situation since my own kids (9, 7, 3, and 1) love to sleep with me and my husband.  If they're truly lonesome (and really, given the choice of sleeping alone or with one's favorite person, which would anyone choose?), then maybe just knowing you're close by will help them gradually wean to sleeping in thier own room(s).

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   Divamommyposted 15 years ago

   I will try anything at this point...My Boy is so sweet i hate that he feel so bad when he is upset... I will try and let you know if it help me. Thanks

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      Stevennix2001posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      your welcome anytime.  hopefully that helps you out.

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   Ivorwenposted 15 years ago

   We solved this type of problem with one of our kids by letting them cure up with their blankets on the floor, but not get into our bed.  After 1/2 an hour, they usually started to complain that the floor was hard.  We would remind them that they had their own bed. 
   
   It didn't take long for them to decide that their bed was more fun than the floor.

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   Lynda Garyposted 14 years ago

   You may not like my answer, but here goes anyway:
   
   The only way to create the confidence and independence in your children that they need to be healthy adults is to STOP allowing them to be so dependent.
   
   You MUST understand that you are not being "mean" when you say "no." You are being a parent who cares --first and foremost -- about the lessons you are teaching your children. 
   
   If you sit down with your children and explain that you "made a mistake" by allowing them to sleep in your room, and that "it is now time for them to sleep in their own room," they may not like it, and they may (will) balk at first, but they also will unknowingly respect you for parenting them instead of babying them.
   
   You might say, "I don't wear your clothes, and I don't sleep in your bed.  I don't wear my mother's clothes, or sleep in her bed.  It's time for you to be like Mommy, and from now on, you'll sleep in your own beds."
   
   Too many kids who are allowed to sleep on the floor of a parent's room will continue to sleep on the floor.
   
   If you've ever watched Nanny 911, you've seen the procedure for breaking kids of this habit.  It's not easy, but it is necessary.  You have to remember that this is not about how YOU feel (guilty, mean, yadda yadda) but about how your children feel and develop.  And, remember, it's OKAY for them to feel angry, upset, even frightened.  Protecting them from uncomfortable feelings does not allow them to learn how to manage those feelings.
   
   If you haven't seen Nanny 911 and/or don't know the steps to take to break them of the habit, please contact me privately.  I'll be happy to help, each step of the way.  (It's what I do.)

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   Lynda Garyposted 14 years ago

   dang.  that was long. LOL.  I coulda made a hub.

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      rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      it would make a good hub topic. there are many with this problem.
      go for it!

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   Chaotic Chicaposted 14 years ago

   While LyndaGary's response certainly seemed harsh, it does have merit.  Though not pleasant for the parent, that method has been proven to be effective.  Thankfully it did not come to that with our children (9,8,6,3).  The older two never seemed to be bothered by being put back into their beds.  The youngest boy however was a challenge.  Eventually we started asking him why he was getting up in the first place, discussing it, consoling him if it was a bad dream, then we'd take him back to his bed, tuck him in, reassure him, and then walk away.  He knew where we were if he needed us but he learned that he didn't always need us.  Granted it took a little bit of time, but it was worth it.  Now it's our three year old's turn.  She's handling it well and comes in less frequently.

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   rebekahELLEposted 14 years ago

   this is a decent article that may help.
   
   it most likely won't be easy at first, but after a while they should get it. hope this helps.
   
   http://www.parenting.com/article/Toddle … er-Own-Bed
   
   

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