I was asked this question today by another site. Can you be happy and have low

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   Madison22posted 14 years ago

   I was asked this question today by another site.  Can you be happy and have low self esteem at...
   
   the same time? My ans is, I don't think you can be fully happy. What is your answer?

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   loriamooreposted 14 years ago

   Sure, someone with low self-esteem can be happy . . . if he/she is isolated and doesn't have to interact with others who make them feel inferior.

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   rebekahELLEposted 14 years ago

   I guess it would depend on someones definition of happiness.
   someone with low self esteem may not believe he is worthy of happiness, but every man has access to it, it is found within.
   Thoreau had a beautiful quote about happiness:  'Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things,  it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.'
   some feel it is attained through wealth and material things, but we know there is no happiness in a 'thing'.  maybe if the person with low self esteem reaches out to help someone or to smile at the world, his self esteem will begin to grow. everyone has something to give, even if a smile or a friendly glance is all that they can give at the moment.  it may give hope to someone who is very sad at that moment who feels the world is hopeless.

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   veracityfieldsposted 14 years ago

   If happiness is experienced as moments of time in which a person feels generally elated and up beat then everyone experiences those, even those with low self esteem will be able to feel happiness in the form of moments.  Some may not, but most will.
   
   If happiness is considered to be a general state of permanent being then a person with low self esteem might find that they sabotage themselves from ever reaching that desired state of being.
   
   I guess it all depends on your definition and expectation of happiness.  Varies per person.

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   embee77posted 13 years ago

   Well, you have some diverse responses but I agree with you, Madison22.  As someone who has slowly accumulated fragments of self esteem over more than 50 years, I can say that partial or temporary "happiness" is probable.  But Full Happiness?  Only if you live in a daydream, which certainly happens.  It took time and focused effort to understand where my "self unsteem" came from.  And knowing it doesn't automatically make it go away.  I say stick with the people you trust, the people who help you out.  That's the direction to follow. Read, think, and get professional help -- keep looking till you find the therapist you click with.

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   Shealy Healyposted 13 years ago

   No-your self esteem is how you feel about you-happiness is in part liking yourself. So, if you want to be happy-you have to do a few things to build self esteem.   
   
   I promise you can find happiness-promise....

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   Always Greenerposted 13 years ago

   Not really, because having low self esteem means that you are hard on yourself and don't allow mistakes or 'imperfections'.  My tip is to allow yourself to not be perfect, and accept you as you are whatever that may be and love yourself.

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   Antoine Van Hoveposted 13 years ago

   I answer this question with some other ones:
   
   What would or could be the reason to let a low self esteem remain in between you and your happiness?
   
   Who is the one who labels himself with "having a low self esteem"?
   
   Why would you want to keep such a label about yourself alive?
   
   What is the ground for such an identification?
   
   And why don't you seem to be able to release it?
   
   Why do you, or would you act as if you don't have any choice?

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   Venkatposted 13 years ago

   Low self esteem can be a trait or a emotional state of mind.  Happiness is an emotional state resulting from thoughts both conscious and subconscious, external events like your child's dance program, or internal sensations where you just don't know why are you feeling happen.  You can feel happiness and complete forget about your low self esteem.  Low self esteem  affects how you lead your life but cannot erase the smile on your face when watching "Amazing Pets Videos."

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    kimfanerposted 13 years ago

    it's impossible. happiness comes from within and how you feel about yourself.

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    oldrickposted 13 years ago

    Nathaniel Branden, who has done much of the work on self esteem, defines it as below:
    
    "Self-esteem is the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It consists of two components: 1) self-efficacy—confidence in our ability to think, learn, choose, and make appropriate decisions; and 2) self-respect—confidence in our right to be happy; and in the belief that achievement, success, friendship, respect, love and fulfillment are appropriate to us".
    
    As you can see, part of his definition is the right to be happy. So, at the very least the two, (self esteem and happiness) overlap and are related.
    
    However, theory is one thing and practice is another. Probably better to work on self esteem (it's a learnable skill), and notice what else happens!

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    Faceless39posted 13 years ago

    If you don't think much of yourself, then how can you be happy?

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