Are there times that you get so mad that you want to punch the wall?

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   Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years ago

   There are times that I get frustrated or angry that I want to punch someone. But I don't like hurting people so I punch a wall. Anyone else have that feeling as well?

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      Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Are you a girl? You must be a very tough girl. Usually when a girl gets that mad, she cries. lol
      I would think it would hurt your hand really badly!

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         Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Yes i am a girl. My name can be misleading to others lol. I am very tough, but there are times I do cry when i'm angry. Tears can't be the only answer so you have to punch something like a wall or a punching bag which I need.

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            Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

            You should take up kick boxing. That would be awesome.

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               Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

               That would be awesome, i might look up some classes online.

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               Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

               thank you

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                  Beth37posted 10 years agoin reply to this

                  For sure! Then post some hubs and teach women how to protect themselves or get in shape or take out their anger without hurting themselves... etc.

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                     Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                     I'll do that, thanks for the advice.

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               Zelkiiroposted 10 years agoin reply to this

               If you took up kickboxing while angry, it would very quickly turn into Battle Royale.

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                  Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                  lol it would be a Battle Royale.

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      Jlbowdenposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, there are many times, that I lost my cool Kevina and punched my own wall in my home.  Thankfully I didn't break my wrist, or hand, as a result of letting my patience get the best of me.  However, I had created extra work for myself afterward, not realizing that I would have to run to the hardware store, to purchase some wall putty, to hide the holes in the walls with.   This happens even to the best of us at times - I'm sure!

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   Zelkiiroposted 10 years ago

   I try not to get that mad, because my only wall options are foot-thick concrete and relatively soft wood.
   
   Neither would end well.

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      Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Very true. I dont want to mess my walls as well but I need a punching bag.

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         wildernessposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Or some anger management classes, learning how to control emotions.  Anyone that gets so angry they cannot refrain from hitting walls is in need of help.

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            Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            Maybe but I'm not that angry all the time. Yoga is good but still in need of a punching bag. lol

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               wildernessposted 10 years agoin reply to this

               Most people are not that angry all the time.  Just occasionally, whereupon it almost inevitably turns to abusing the people around them.  It may take years (and usually does) but the inability to control temper ends up as bruises, broken bones or worse on spouses, children or co-workers. 
               
               Learning to control your own emotions is not something to be let go until someone ends up being hurt.

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                  Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                  Totally agree with you that anger can get worse if its not in control.

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                     wildernessposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                     Yes it can - I've seen it too often.  And the answer is not to find that "punching bag" to take it out on, it is to control it within yourself.  To learn self control, not merely an acceptable object to whale away upon - eventually that becomes another person in far, far too many cases.

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   David Carlposted 10 years ago

   Kevina, Kevina, Kevina
   
   I say take some goof like me, in real life I have been called a goof. That's goof with a small g, not a big G.That would be more like a jerk, which I certainly am not. Take someone like me, for instance, a goof.......
   
   When I get angry, that would be mad, angry, you know, not, say, uh...angry, mad. I can keep my mouth shut when I am mad, angry....but not when I am angry mad...Then I am like crazy stupid..........
   
   To be continued:   Grammommy is calling us to dinner.
   
   Olveeturzane

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   Dave36posted 10 years ago

   It's like wilderness said it's all about self control, & if you watch "Oprah Winfrey's Soul Series with Ecjhart Tolle" available on utube it will all become clear....Only you make yourself mad nobody else does this to you, you might think it's because of them, but really it's because of you & how you react....But hey buddy this is the same for everyone on the planet, until they gain more self control....I was 40 years old before i realized why i got mad a lot, now i'm as calm as the Buddha!lol

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      Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Very true, My reaction is sometimes to yell but i have learned to breathe in and out. Thank you very much!

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         Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Well your well on your way then buddy, & you will get there because your aware of it....Most people i know aren't aware that they can control their emotions, & i only realised a year ago....If you keep practising you should start realising you've lost it, earlier than you normally would have....For example i started realising "after" i'd lost it, but with practise i started realising "during" the arguments etc....With loads more practise, i started realising "before" i was about to lose it, & was able to control myself pretty easily....Also start looking at what makes you angry, & just how important is it anyway....Nothing anyone can say to you about you should be able to rattle you, if you did get upset you would be valuing their opinion higher than your own opinion of yourself....All that really gets mad/angry/jealous etc is our ego, & that's the voice in our head that says all the bad stuff/ideas etc.

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            Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            thank you so much for the advice!

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               Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

               Well i hope you watch the vids i mentioned buddy, because it did work for me in a massive way, & it really changed my life for the better....I don't bottle my feelings/emotions up or anything, things just don't bother me like they used to....It's hard to explain how it works, but it's as if my mind has shifted to see what negative thinking/worrying, & getting angry etc really is....And what it is is pointless, so once your mind actually accepts/realises that fact, you won't get mad etc ever again....It takes "loads" of practice, but it's certainly not boring mate it's effing fascinating.

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                  Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                  thats great that it worked. i will watch them.

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   Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years ago

   My advice is this: Isolate the difficulty. What exactly is angering you. All problems have solutions. Solve your problem and your anger will go away of its own accord. You don't even need to control it… poof it will be gone!
   Most anger is justified. Listen to your anger. Contemplate your anger. Find out the reason you feel anger. There is a reason for it and it needs to be consciously attended to. Therapists help you do this easily. But you can do it without one as well. Writing it out also helps. Hitting walls or people can break bones in your hand. Especially a female's.

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      Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      yeah this is very true. thank you so much.

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      Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I'd say it depends on the problem Kathryn, i mean if a person is depressed because of their past...That problem can only be solved in the persons mind, because it's their mind that's causing that particular problem....Your advice is what i do for my worries, i get to the root cause (which is usually me!lol), & start trying to eliminate them....Saying that if a person who was unhappy with their life did a bit of both emotions/feelings control, & isolation of their difficulties & solving them they would eventually be feeling great.

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   Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years ago

   Warning: True story/ Creative writing:
   Once upon a time, last night at midnight, I was drifting to sleep, peacefully going into alpha state… zzz... when all of the sudden, all three of my dogs started barking in their various irritating pitches. They were yelling about some strange dogs and some weird noises coming from the neighbor's yard across the street.
   "So what?" I barked back, "Just go back to sleep!"
   They did not. I contemplated throwing them all in the car for the rest of the night. Instead, to get rid of my anger, I decided to solve the problem. I got up, marched across the street in my bathrobe, with my flash light and shined the light into the yard. Well, sure enough there were two noisy dogs barking up into the tree where a squirrel was giving birth to her squealing infants. She was cuck, cuck, cucking and they were making a small intimate commotion that only a dog could detect from a distance.
      Standing under the street lamp, watching the curious dogs in the moonlight and being in the presence of the miracle of creation…ended up being a happy moment for me.
       I told the dogs to go home or I would call the police. They finally listened to me and trotted home (after getting up out of bed and repeating myself three more times.) My dogs quieted down and I crawled into bed thanking God for the wonders of nature. zzzzz The End.

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      Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      i like that. when i hear my niece and nephew crying for no reason i want to cry with them because im irritated, but that's immature. so i carry them or sing a song to make them smile.

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         Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         

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         Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Hey Kevina that's the very practice i'm talking about, when your niece/nephew was crying for no reason they "didn't" make you feel irritated "you" made yourself irritated....Now i know how that sounds buddy, because i didn't get it for a good few weeks of thinking about that statement....But try sitting there at night, & think about some bad thing that happened to you....Does it upset you thinking about it?, if so "proof" that you create our own feelings/emotions....Next time it happens think logically about the situation your in, & kids don't cry for no reason....So when you start to feel irritated see if you can feel where those feelings come from, & then breathe relax smile & do not react negatively....The trick is to never ever ever act negatively "ever"!lol

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            Kevina Oyatedorposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            no negativity! Thank you, i don't yell at them, i sing and do a funny dance for them to make them smile.

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               Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

               Well like i said earlier your well on your way to being in complete control of your emotions/feelings, as a lot of peeps would go in screaming at them....You might still get the quick with no warning bouts of anger, but your'l keep getting better at being aware as you go....Even if you stubbed your toe badly, you can't get mad as it's already done....Sooner rather than later you will (with loads more practise) start finding it funny when you stub your toe etc....You will say to yourself wow i would have smashed something in my house or screamed with rage, if that had happened to me a few months ago, but now i'm as calm as the Buddha!lol

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      Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Hey Kathryn i like your story, & maybe the dogs woke you up so you could see the baby squirrels!lol....The only way i could explain how i feel about anger now, as i don't think i will be able to "lose it" ever again now that i'm aware....Is that i know every time when i'm entering, or in a situation where i would have or should get annoyed/angry etc.....Usually anger is a quick response, & catch's us off guard....So after learning what i learn't, i'm now on guard, & the most i'll feel now is a seconds worth where i feel anger trying to get started, but that second is all it takes to stop it developing.

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         Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

         Dear Dave,
         Yes, I used to frown and get mad fairly very easily. To avoid frown lines I decided to not let my self frown so much.  I discovered that smoothing out my forehead caused my anger to dissipate as well! LOL! (It takes less muscles to smile than frown. )
         
         However, anger is a natural emotion and is actually quite useful. Patience is the thing which helps us channel anger and use it constructively. I am not debating you or anyone else at all. Just adding my two cents. I enjoy reading the advice of others. And your advice is always good.
         Kathryn
         
         To summarize:
         
         1. Breathe in and out.
         2. Un-wrinkle the brow.
         3. Look at the situation objectively, rather than subjectively, realizing that everything out there is neutral; that only your reaction causes the ripples in your otherwise calm-lake-of-sunshine mind.
         4. Find patience and self control.
         5. Try to fix the situation.
         6. Realize when the situation is out of your control. (Sometimes you just have to know when to let things go….in other-words, when to  accept it.)
         7. Sign up for kickboxing.
         8. When all else fails, find a (soft) wall.

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            Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

            Hey Kathryn you've "really" made me think now, & no one's done that for a while....As my mind has changed a lot over the last 7/8 months, it is quite hard to remember how i used to think....I do know for a fact i was a compulsive thinker/over analyser/worrier, & now i'm not....But i swear i  never realised it was patience, that i'd been using in the early days when i was doing the emotions/feelings control practice....It's making me think though because i don't have to use patience now, i just don't get the unwanted emotions/feelings now....It's hard to decipher i think because using self control is called being patient, but being patient is called using self control....Maybe self control & patience are the same thing, a state of being.

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               Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

               I used to over-think too.  it is better than under thinking. But eventually as you understand stuff you don't have to search for answers so intensely.
               Concrete to abstract. I MUST understand the concrete before the abstract.
               ...as we all do. Especially kids in learning math concepts.

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                  Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

                  Hey Kathryn if you we're to look back on any problems that you've had in your life so far, do you see them all as learning experiences?....I'm not sure that over thinking is better than under thinking, but it depends on who is doing the thinking....When i was an over thinker/analyser etc, it was my ego mind that used to ask most of the questions....Why me?, Why did i do that, why didn't i do this etc, now iv'e outed my ego from my mind my mind is now there to help me....My mind doesn't ask those questions now as it know's the answer, & the answer was me each time....It's only since iv'e changed inside, that all my problems have disappeared....So i'm sure i'm not my mind or anything it says, what i am is how i feel in my heart/soul....So i try to ask my heart/soul what it is i need/want in life, i meditate on it then i use my mind to help me find those things....I think we're saying much the same thing just a different arrangement of words, you know what works for you & i know what works for me....I think that our heart tries to find the things we want/need in life, (if we can tune into it, by ignoring our ego) whereas my ego mind used to always ask negative stuff (why me etc)....So asking from our heart = positive results etc, whereas being led by what our ego says = negativity....Really great chatting to you mate, & your advice is great advice.

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                     Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                     Dave. I know what you are saying. Not arguing at all. Actually a lot of stuff we all argue about is very personal. Each to their own, ya know. When others ask for advice, all one can do is bring their own understanding to the table. Every person is a window of light.

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                        Dave36posted 10 years agoin reply to this

                        Yeah we're all on our own path aye mate, many paths to the same destination....I just love talking about life that's all, & i know i go a bit over the top with my posts & their rather lengthy!lol....But i will pick peoples brains like yours if i can, to try to get a few different perspectives/ideas on life....I mean every person can be a window of light, but they are a bit thin on the ground at the moment, as their mainly watching T.V etc!lol

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                           Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                           ...yeah, some shades are drawn. Lol!

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                              psycheskinnerposted 10 years agoin reply to this

                              And some aren't that should be.

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   Kathryn L Hillposted 10 years ago

   9. (...scratch 8.) Do not react negatively.

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