How can one practice self control?
There are many situations in life where we have to hold ourselves for the better. Without self-control there can be many immediate and long-term problems. Like controlling anger, excessive intake of alcohol etc. can have long-term adverse effects.
Can you provide some tips for self-control?
Loss of self control always comes from allowing emotions to control us, watch the emotion arise, recognise it for what it is and then let it go.
Well how you practice self control is actually dependent on what you're trying to control yourself from doing. It's not a situation where "anger management" translates over to "control of your alcohol addiction".
If you're trying to control your anger then watch a television show or read a book that absolutely infuriates you and try not to scream at the offending morons. If you can hold in your anger and release it later in a more productive way you've got the hang of it.
If you're trying to control alcoholism then pour a glass of beer for yourself all the way up to the top and put it on your tray, nightstand, or whatever, and do not touch it. If you feel the compelling urge to drink it then pour it out. When you have reached the point where you can look at the glass and not compulsively drink it then you've got your intake under control.
Just come up with little training methods like these for your various needs.
Everything is possible regarding our habits, When you think you can do. Otherwise there are many Lame Excuses.
Practice deep breathing and meditation. Obviously there's anger management, counselling and other related classes/meetings. Self defence classes are good for someone who can't control their fists.
But I've found that many people who have no self control tend to; in general; be quite unhappy in their own lives. A lot of people who have lost control of themselves and their own lives will use anger, intimidation and agression to try to control others. Lack of self control is often caused by built up frustration. Usually the cause is deeper than that person just having anger issues. Therefore, focusing on the lack or continuous loss of self control is not the key, the key is to find the cause and to deal with that. Why, when and where did it all begin... could it have been learnt at a young age from a respected elder?...
One needs to be mindful at all times. Easier said than done. But one has to start somewhere. It's now. Just like creating a good habit. One needs great effort to practise, practise, practise. Most times, one would fail to be mindful, but at least through constant practise, once in while the mindfulness will be there.
Mindfulness of what? It is the ability to be acutely aware of what is becoming of oneself at that moment in time, that is, the "now" awareness. When one is able to be mindful of one's feeling at that point in time, "now", then one would note that feeling, realizes it's not good for one to indulge in that feeling and then to let that feeling pass. With constant practice, one will improve on one's character.
That's my 2-cents worth of sharing.
I have practised anger control through various technique over the last 20 years. The longest was meditation and guess what. I don't think it was, what has helped. Though I can still recommend certain forms of meditation and relaxation if there's no philosophy involved in it or if you can leave these aside.
One has to understand oneself, one's anger and the source of one's anger. A deep understanding of these things does not come by mere meditation as usually meditation is about observing thoughts at max. Tactical thinking and the help of someone outside our head are the ways I ve found helpful. Those can be found in a good analyst or other cognitive therapies. Other people, other means. But beware of those promising things too good to be true like scientology or those selling subliminal soundtracks, just to name sth. They never keep up to their promises.
Especially if you are dealing with excessive behaviour and the intake of drugs (including alcohol). These are things that need a long-term therapy. There is no way around it, sorry. Don't fall for instant cures. They don't exist.
One last thing... I have found anger to be a natural thing that hasn't to be suppressed at all times. It often at times is the right thing to express. There should be no guilt about it. The problem is rather the often accompanying verbal or physical violence. These should be controlled or better, as said above, dissolved by understanding their sources.
Have a peaceful sunday -_-
Kannan, one thing I have noted is that tabla players very rarely get angry.
The days I practice dance I don't get angry, so maybe venting it out in an alternate method, would be step one. Of course, cracking what makes you angry and addressing that issue is another great way.
The term self control in itself is a little scary it means, that you are holding back, things could snap sometime along the way. May be it is a better idea to just let go.
Louise Hay has a suggestion, that you put down on paper, and include your elaborate vengeance plan finally just burn the paper should help.
By daily practicing yoga & mediation we can easily control our anger, aggression, excessive alcohol intake etc.Moreover helps in controlling our emotions who lead us to do all the wrongs ways to get what we want.
Morning or evening walk will so help to reduce these & make us fit & healthy.
Knowing thyself is the best way to develop ones self, know ones strength and develop one weaknesses...the Higher Parent needs to develop the undisciplined child...
I agree with all the comments here. I've been exploring this question for 30 years, and the best answer I've found is in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey. His idea, in my words, is that there are four agreements to the freedom to choose, or to self-control:
self-awareness: Know what we are doing, and what we feel like doing before we do it.
imagination: Whenever we think there is only one option, come up with a second. When there are two, find three. Once there are three, you will see that there are many choices.
conscience: First, do no harm to yourself and others. Then, in a responsible way, add joy or goodness to life.
independent will: realize that it's not your genetics, or society, or your parents. Whatever influences are acting on you, the choice is yours, and you will live with the consequences.
Practice each of these ingredients with each breath of each day. Meditation helps, as does keeping a journal, as does yelling at the ocean, if you have to. Go for it!
I believe that what causes us to lose control, is when we get so boggled down in our usual daily activities that we lose sight and direction in attaining our personal goals.
If use this simple analogy we can understand this a little better, In sports teams, you have the team players itself, and the coach. The team players represent the body and the mind, while the coach represents the intellect. Its the intellect that directs our mind and body to act with reasoning and untoward a known goal. Now, in a basketball game, the coach can call a 'time-out' where the game is paused, and the team and coach have a chance to re-think strategy and ensure that the team is playing in line with what is needed to be done to win the game.
In the same way, i believe that regular meditation or just a simple "time-out" where you assess the actions you are taking, and ensure that you are still on path towards reaching your greater goal, will be of much benefit in controlling the self.
by JamesPoppell5 years ago
Is drug and alcohol addiction a problem of self control or is it a medical condition?Is treatment needed or can one sum up the will power to quit?
by sir_tallest7 years ago
Is there any site that can help with anger management......hate to see a shrink
by Kevin Peter3 years ago
How can anger be controlled?I am a bad tempered person. I get angry even at my kids without any particular reason. How can I overcome it?
by Tamara Wilhite20 months ago
How can you measure a child's level of self control as can be done for IQ?
by kevina oyatedor3 years ago
There are times that I get frustrated or angry that I want to punch someone. But I don't like hurting people so I punch a wall. Anyone else have that feeling as well?
by Elena Konik6 years ago
How to make parents stop trying to control your life when nothing else I've tried works?I have a hard time trying to stop my parents planning all my life, tell me what to do, what friends and surroundings to choose...
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