Is it possible to restore lost happiness after the demise of a very loving one?

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   Zulfiquar Ahmedposted 15 years ago

   Is it possible to restore lost happiness after the demise of a very loving one? Please explain how?

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   mike.posted 15 years ago

   Hello,Attitudes vary imensley.It all depends on what you mean by demise.A death is always tragic,Perhaps some times lessend by the comfort of a religious background,Even so i know its hard either way as i am currently going through a divorce.I think happiness is always within ones self,all we need to do is be positive and look round the corner,There is always something better to look forward to when youre down.Regards,Mike.

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   TypingTornadoposted 15 years ago

   very incredibly doubtful.  i'm the voice of experience.

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   writesketchbeadposted 15 years ago

   Yes-When you love someone, you never really let go but there is heathy not letting go and unhealthy. Mourn- let yourself mourn. Mourning takes time- don't rush it. By time- I mean time. Don't expect a week or month. It varies by person and their approach. At the begining it all feels hopeless, don't give in to that feeling, no matter how long it may last. If you hit a point where you do not think you can face that hopelessness talk with someone. In fact, before you hit that point talk to someone. Take time for yourself and memories but countinue to live- be around people. Remember, the one who loves you does not want you to be miserable. They want to live in the heart of your memories but they can only do that if you are living. Go ahead and cry, Go ahead and yell at the unfairness of it all. Go ahead and let it out. Go out though, despite it all. Sometimes you simply have to push through the worst of it. Sometimes you need to remind yourself over and over that it all gets better eventually. I lost someone very dear to me 16 years ago and there are still days that I can't help wishing he was here. But he would want me here and I would not want to disappoint him. I lost someone dear to me within the last six months. Due to being prone to bipolar depression, it was a great catylist to falling to pieces. I had to walk away from a good job becouse the stress and the mourning was killing me. I am regaining myself, stepping back out in the job market. But I hurt, and I miss, and I hate the people who tell me I will replace the loved one in time. You never replace. But you can move on and make room for others. Love. Mourn. Cry. Remember. Wade through the misery. Come out on the other side. GIVE IT TIME. TALK.

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   Illuminatiiposted 15 years ago

   Love does not die with the body, It lives in everyone and everything that is around us. We are surrounded by it.  The body may be gone, but the memory and spirit remains. It is a gentle breeze, a first snow, a lightly falling rain. True death and loss happens when those of us that are left forget. Never forget.  Be comforted that you will meet again, and live as your loved one would wish you to live.

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   JacqCampbellposted 15 years ago

   I've never experienced this first hand, but I believe that love lives on even after the person has died.
   The various processes of grief must be fully experienced before you will able to let go.
   Don't deny yourself what you feel; don't deny those tears.
   Nobody knows how long it will or should take - it will take as long as you need.
   I'd think your loved one will want you to live a life loving yourself, taking care of yourself - and you can do all that without feeling guilty as you slowly let go of her.
   You can't restore 'lost happiness' -  you will go on and create new one, with new people - we all love different people different, not more, not less: just different.  You'd find happiness in another form - and you'd find that as you do that, the loved one that you've lost is still very much part of you, even while your life goes on.  I think that's what love is all about.
   Good luck.

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   Information Ninjaposted 15 years ago

   yes - you gotta hang in their and find some means of social support.  It isnt easy but after time one can recover.

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   MayaMexposted 15 years ago

   How? Understanding why.......... Mental exercise works, it is a fact of life that when we are born we have school teachers but not a teacher that tells you how to live, or why we loose someone, or why someone is born poor or sick, while others are born with a silver spoon. These are simple rules: http://hubpages.com/hub/Metaphysics-Philosophy-of-Life

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   BIKTMIAposted 15 years ago

   Hello,  sorry to say it takes a long, long time. I found that the less I talked it was better for me in dealing with loss. I found that reading inspirational positives helped a lot  and walking.  I found not hearing negative avoiding as much as possible people worked for me.
   I know it may not for every person but I was able,  thankfully not to have to be sedated with meds and still function. If you have a really supportive heart felt friend it's a blessing. Someone to really see you through  with short talks at heart and listen with sincerety.   Grief is powerful and it can take you through a lot of changes you have to find what is really comfortable for you. If its, writing, reading, walking its a start.

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    comfortcareposted 14 years ago

    We as human beings are such wonderful creatures.  We are given abilities that no other being has.  Since I also am a human being, I know what it is like to lose someone you dearly love.  Is it possible to restore lost happiness after losing them?  It depends on what you mean by "lost happiness".  If you mean the same happiness as when that person was with you, I would say no.  You cannot re-live exact moments of the past.  One thing that is constant in life is that life is dynamic, and ever changing.  Even if that person was still with you today, the happiness you would enjoy today would not be the same as it was several years ago.
    
    If, on the other hand, you mean, "Can I become happy after the loss of a loved one?", then my answer is a definite "YES".  There are many reasons to find happiness after the loss of a loved one.  You do not have to wallow in misery for the rest of your life.  However, becoming happy is a choice.  You choose what you will focus on, and what you will think about.
    
    One reason to become happy is to look at the motive why you are sad in the first place.  Is it because you think that your loved one is suffering?  That they cannot enjoy the pleasures of this world anymore?
    
    Most of the time, we are sad because we miss the love and attention that person used to give to us.  If you truly look at these motivations closely, you will see that at the root, they are selfish and self-centered.
    
    Rejoice at the moments of joy you spent with that person.  Count them as blessings.  Celebrate their life with you.  Know that whereever they are at, they are in a better place than here, and be glad for them.
    
    If that person gave you such joy at being around them, then do what they did to you to others.  Make the lives of others a joy.  That way, you honor the memory of the dearly departed one and enrich the lives of others with the experiences you had.  If you truly love the loving one, as you say, then allow his/her life to continue to resonate through you.  In this way, that person's influence will continue on this earth, in spite of the fact they have long since departed.
    
    Perhaps some of my articles might be of assistance if you are still struggling with this issue.
    
    I wish you the very best.

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    Always Greenerposted 14 years ago

    Healing, and trauma counselling I guess.  Gradually the pain does reduce but you'll need to accept the pain of the loss and consider that it may affect you routinely

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    Goodpalposted 14 years ago

    Yes it is certainly possible to recover from the loss of a loved one. It needs wisdom and correct perspective of what we call life. Strong attachment to anything -- including some person -- means strong sense of loss when you lose it. It is the attachment to that person that is the cause of suffering.
    
    Speaking from personal experience, take up mindfulness meditation. It clears the mind and does not allow sentimentality to pile up. Sincere practice will help you experience a profound truth about life -- nothing is permanent; what arises has to pass away. What we call life is just a flow of consciousness.
    
    Mindfulness will also help you realize that it is you who give colors to thoughts and perceptions. Hence, you can learn to unlearn it. Why cling to anything so dearly, and why hate anything so badly. Learning to stay neutral is the long term way to happiness.
    
    You have to realize this truth. After that suffering will reduce and you will see things from a different perspective.

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    cathylynn99posted 14 years ago

    it took over a year to get over the loss of my fiancee. talking about it with a therapist helped. as shakespeare said, "Give sorrow words." I had to be careful not to let anger over the loss spill over into other relationships. therapy helped there, too. there is life after loss. i am now happily married.

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    Happyboomernurseposted 14 years ago

    Absolutely, but it takes time, support, honoring the memory of your lost loved one by feeling grateful for the time you did have together and recognizing that their spirit will always be with you. I have lost several people whom I deeply loved starting with my grandfather, my first love who died from cancer, my favorite teacher, my grandmother, my father, 2 dear friends and others. Many of my hubs deal with finding purpose and eventually joy after the death of a loved one.

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    Nancy DuPreeposted 14 years ago

    I understand how you feel.  I lost my beloved husband about this time last year.  It still hurts.  I know that he would not want me to suffer so much.  He would say get on with your life and be happy.  I feel he is still with me in spirit.  I have others in my life that I love and I must have courage for them.  It's hard.  You must be patient with yourself.  Do something you enjoy, just because you enjoy it.  Think about the things in your life that you are greatful for.

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    moneycopposted 13 years ago

    Yes , happiness is not to do any thing with outsiders, its within and no one can take it away from you.Just make your thinking rational and you will get all right. Thing why we are not together and take all as natural happenings in the world. accept the facts don't live in imaginary world. God bless!!!

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