Should putting my alcoholic husband in jail for 9 months make him stop drinking alcohol?
If it can work, then I just have to fake something that will see him in jail for no less than 9 month.
Don't waste your time planning a fake incident in a misguided (but loving) attempt to make him quit drinking. Unless he's ready to quit drinking, he will quit for the nine months he's in jail and head straight for a bar or the liquor store when he is released.
Take it from an alcoholic 20 years sober, January 1, 2010, no alcoholic quits until they hit bottom. Bottom changes for every drunk; but, everyone has their own and until they reach it nothing changes.
Some need to be in very dire straits before they decide they need to quit - homeless, sick, friendless, jobless, almost mindless. Some people don't hit bottom until they die.
I didn't get that far personally; but, there are many things I have apologized for and many things I wish I could do over. However, no one and nothing stopped me drinking until I was ready to quit.
I only mention my own addiction so you will know that I am speaking from experience.
While you can't force him to quit; what you can do is to not enable him. When he upsets you - tell him. When he misses the child's soccer game - hold him accountable. Don't make apologies or excuses for him - tell the truth. If he lands in jail - don't bail him out.
In short, do not allow him to use you as a shield to continue his addiction behind. Enablers think they make things better for the addict; but, all they do is make the path a little clearer for them to continue their destructive ways.
It won't work....and, it is pretty dangerous playing with anothers life, please be careful.
Alcoholism is difficult to treat. It is a lifetime battle. If one isn't willing to be 110% committed to quitting, then that person will not be able to quit.
9 months drying out won't mean the potential isn't there for a recurrence. Many dried out alcoholics fall off the wagon multiple times. The difference between success and failure is whether they are willing to keep on getting up, dusting themselves off, and climbing right back up on that wagon.
I gotta agree with the majority here. I've got over 10 years sobriety & if he doesn't wanna quit, he won't. NO amount of forcing AA on him or jail time or anything else. He's gotta hit rock bottom, hon. Your plan won't work. How bout a family intervention?
My two cents: keep the focus on yourself. Try to enjoy your life in spite of his drinking, which you're powerless over.
Check out a twelve-step group, like Alanon. You'll be with others who are going through similiar experiences.
From a previous question you asked it appears that he is bringing home a paycheck that leaves you w/about $22 per month. My question to you is do you have medical benefits through his work? If so, do those medical benefits cover a stay in a 30 day in house rehab? If so, does he also have short-term disability which would deliver a paycheck to you so that the household could keep running? If yes to all of the above, then I suggest you get someone to help you get him into rehab and set everything else into motion. Thirty days doesn't always do the trick forever, but it buys him some time to get sober and for you and the family to talk to him with counselors in a sober setting so that you can begin to figure things out. If none of the above apply, please call AA and speak to someone with Al-anon. They can give you tremendous support because it's all about living with alcoholics. I wish you the best of luck. If you don't find a solution, keep coming back with the questions. My thoughts are with you.
No. Some alcoholics and other addicts do respond to the shock of being sent to jail by trying to stop and some of them succeed. In most cases, however, they don't try or they don't succeed. Research has shown that punishing an addict -- jail, prison, one of the American "boot camp" programs, or any other puniitive approach -- actually makes recovery less likely.
Oh my god! never fake anything that will put someone in Jail!
It doesn't matter if he is an alcholic, or totally sober. faking anything just for the sole purpose of straightening them out, will not only fail. If it is found out that you did anything dishonest, no matter what your intentions, you will be the one in jail! It may be considered entrapment.
However, if you think he is a danger to you while he is drunk, you can have him removed from your home. But, keep in mind that the police treat every unruly person the same, and have been known to beat, and lately even kill someone on this type of call. It has happened twice here in michigan. With the police using tasers repeatedly on drunken men, because they are so drunk, that they do not understand what they are being told.
Getting the police involved should be your last resort, and only if you feel that you are physically in danger. If you don't you are in danger. Seek other means. Hide his wallet, if there is alchol in the house, hide that. One trick we sometimes do to a friend is dump out his boose when he isn't looking. That way he thinks he drank it all. And, when he can't find his wallet, looks like he won't be having any more booze.
From my perspective, being a recovering addict and a once convicted drug trafficker, no - it will NOT make him stop drinking. It will only make him idolize alcohol even more and create resentment for you the likes of which you never thought possible. And judges don't like putting people in jail. You'd be surprised what people can get probation over.
County lock up is hell. Prison is better than county because at least you can smoke a cigarette or see the sunshine. Don't put anyone in jail who does not belong there. Alcoholics and addicts belong in treatment, not in Department of Correction's care.
I am brand new to the Hub but I have 6 years clean from heroin. Taking advantage of the VA's very effective programs had me doing some inpatient time with alcoholics and I go to plenty of 12 step meetings. I have to agree with everyone here, it is tough to quit even when you want to. Not a single external factor will bring about the desire to change. That, truly, must come from within the person. If it is any consolation, I try to remember to pray at night for everyone who is only one prayer away from entering the rooms. Good luck and may God blessyou!
I would say no. At least, putting him in jail would not affect his behavior nor would it treat the alcoholism. It could, however, bring him nearer to his "bottom," which is usually the turning point in these situations where the addicted person realizes and acknowledges that there is a problem.
He will stop drinking when (if?) he's ready. I'm not really much of a drinker, but I made wine in a county jail a long time ago. You, surroundings, nor anything else, can make this person stop being who they are. We are the only ones who can control ourselves, and it's best to get as far as possible from those who can't.
A 9 month jail term will not stop your husband from drinking alcohol. You may just be looking for a moment of peace in this situation. Jail is not the answer. I agree that an intervention is needed. Immediately. Do this lovingly, with help from your family and friends. Seek professional help for both you and your husband. He must agree that he desires to stop self-medicating. Don't rule out undiagnosed depression, only made worse by alcohol use. Remember, AA and Alanon are there to help your family.
If your husband is incarcerated for 9 months It is likely that he would stop drinking for 9 months. But if he is an alcoholic as you say, it is guaranteed that once he is free he will walk directly across the street to the little dive bar-always seems to be one next to most county jails- and drink himself into oblivion.
In my experience freedom from alcohol or any addiction is an inside job. Recovery starts from within. Rarely can the addicts friends and family force the addict into the mental state needed to begin the long road to recovery.
Rather than focus on fixing your husband you may consider seeking programs and groups that focus on empowering you and allowing you to live a healthy normal life. Alcoholism is a family issue and family members often suffer as much if not more than the alcoholic.
Detach with love!
Creating a non-existent situation which is so negative is virtually unlikely to help your husband stop drinking. Jail is not a happy or positive experience for most people who have to go through it. Think of the psychological damage a situation like that could create! IT would be almost guaranteed to create an environment of distrust, especially if he did nothing to warrant being put in jail. And there would undoubtedly be some level of depression (whether mild or severe) that may lead to heavier drinking and possibly worse things.
I know that it may be frustrating when a spouse or other loved one is addicted to any substance. However, a better course of action would be to seek help for them, or perhaps orchestrate an intervention with other family members, church members or professionals that can help keep the situation under control.
Please consider all of your options carefully, but I would strongly caution against creating a reason for your husband to go to jail unjustly. It could end up causing you many more problems than you anticipate.
The greatest thing about being American is our freedom. Yes, we are free to practice alcoholism, the drug is legal and many use it without bad effect.
Causing another person to be incarcerated based on a falsehood is extremely dangerous, although I certainly understand why you may believe he can be forced into sobriety!
Realistically, you have few options.
My highest recomendation is for you to attend Al-anon. This is a place where you can gain healthy perspectives on your situation, seperate yourself from your husbands disease, and find solutions to the problems his drinking is causing you, all without doing something drastic, dangerous and illegal!
Alcoholism is a disease which causes the affected person to live in a state of denial. Your husband is the only person who can diagnose himself in a way he will believe. This is unfortunate, but true in almost every case. The consequences for you are just as severe, even if you don't drink at all. His disease is and has affected your thinking and getting help for yourself is the first and most important step you can take to free yourself from his disease.
There are Alanon groups all over the world and if you type it into a search engine with your location you will likely find a group nearby.
I agree with the above answer, putting him in jail will only give him a whole host of new problems and make it much tougher for him to get a job in the future.
My dear, this could land you in prison. Filing a false police report is perjury.
Not many people who are put in prison are ever rehabilitated.
An alcoholic needs counseling for alcoholism. He surely doesn't need to be surrounded by a criminal element.
If you have hope, get him help. If not, go live a life where you can be happy. I realize how simple this sounds. It is this finite...
Jail will not stop him from drinking. He will start up again after. Is he abusive? You need to find professional help in this area and get advise from someone that can really help you the right way. This is not the place and we are not professionals, nor do we know your situation except for the question you are asking and the answer to that is no, absolutely not but I would find help and get advise the proper way.
Putting him in jail will not work. He must want to stop drinking. By putting him in jail it will only make things worse when he gets out and possibly even drink more than when he went in. He must admit he has a problem and surrender to his addiction on his own and when he is ready. What would be nice though, is to try to get into some sort of Rehab. that can help him find sobriety, something jail will never due.
Just leave if you don't want him to drink and he knows it. In other words, if he knows you do not want him to drink, find somewhere to go. Say nothing. He is doing nothing wrong drinking alcohol, though. And that might be his beef with you, you know.
Yes, I drink alcohol. But, I would gladly most assuredly give it up for the one I love. And I have gotten telephone calls, from my very good sweetheart, at night. And I would just hope that she would not call after one of my evenings. That's a little confused there isn't it? That is what alcohol does, it will capture your mind. Your mind is numb to it. You need help. Not imprisonment.
But, they say that Kudzu is good for alcoholism. I haven't tried it; got a thing against Kudzu, and there's vitamin B-1 and that I tried. But, like any addict, I put it away because it was not right away.
And that is the thing with alcohol. It is immediate. No waiting. But, that is a sign that something is not fulfilled. Something in the present has not been fulfilled. Drinking makes you forget about things, but it does not make things disappear. So you have to keep drinking to keep forgetting. What is it?
I know my problems! But, it has gotten to the point that the help I need is not there. But I need to give some more advice. People that drink alcohol have a better ability when they are not drinking to pinpoint their enemies. And when you fake a charge of something against your spouse, you become the enemy #1.
Hey, I luv ya and hope everything goes well.
The answer is probably not. Alcoholism isn't something you fix that way. This is a life long battle, and conquered day by day. I've seen many alcoholics end up in jail, only to drink more when they got out. Chances are your husband is suffering from depression or unresolved issues - so thinking that you're going to force him to stop doing something that he thinks makes him feel better is wrong. The only way he can stop is if HE wants help.
I can tell you he won't be drinking much while he is sitting in jail, but when he gets out he will go back to drinking again and maybe worse now that he has another reason to drink--because you just put him in jail for 9 months on made up charges.
I have learned in my experience of living with an alcoholic they drink for many different reasons but don't give them a new reason to drink more.
I now dread most holidays, birthdays, funerals, etc. because of my choice to be with an alcoholic.
Why 9 months?
A nuclear war is about the only thing that will "stop" someone drinking before they are ready to quit. The motivation for sustained change needs to be internal. My experience is that the first call a prison releasee makes is to the offy (off license) or a dealer if it's drugs. Time off from physical harm is the best a term in the slammer can achieve for the great "unready"
Best solution- take yourself out of prison and leave and see what happens!
I am not really sure if this will make him quit drinking. What he needs is an schedule to the outpatient substance abuse treatment to make him aware of what the alcohol is doing to his body. Know more about this at: http://abusetreatmentcenters.net/
i think you playing with fire and that is dangerous, i don't recommend you to do it ! try to talk with him about it & help him to be addicted to good habit
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