Why is it so hard to change and are self-help books effective for personal change?
What is the real catalyst for change in our lives,relationships and behaviour?
It is very hard for a person to change. We have had already an inborn character with ingrained traits.
Self-help books may help.
The only way people can change is if they want to change. It is all in the mind. And only you can change yourself. Yes I do think self-help books are a good way to get you motivated.
Trying to change a way of thinking is literally like trying to grow another arm. Your brain has to build new networks of neurons - memory pathways. Until they are well established, it is easy to fall back into old habits. I compare it to your thoughts choosing the 4 lane highway with an "express" lane rather than trying to follow a path through the jungle. Self help books DO help, but the trick is to keep reading them, over and over, or books similar to them. One thing I used to do was pick sentences from the book that I found poignant to my personal experiences, or that just appealed to me in general, and then write them on "post-it" notes and stick them on the wall above my desk, or on the fridge etc.. so that I could practice my new way of thinking without having to constantly refer to the book. Good Luck and don't give up. Stay positive! Thoughts become things!
lol I have to admit that most self help books are snake oil. Can a person change? Yes but that change cant be any kind of restraint on behavior. Trying to stop doing anything is a good way to have an uncontrollable outbreak when you are the most stressed and can least afford it. Trying to remove feelings for any thing sufficient to change behavior isn't really all that effective either. Most people like someone said have an arm where their arm socket exists and would suffer for lack of that arm and really don't need an arm growing out of somewhere else to make up for what that arm isn't doing. The most effective way for a person to change is actually to locate where behavior stems from within the person doing the analysis and find another behavior that embodies how they want to be and make a substitution. It isn't a sudden fix, especially if you covet what you were doing and try to go back to it but if your desire to change is sincere it is possible.
I guess you can change, but first you've got to change some of the blocks and mental barriers you have at the moment.
Our habits and routines makes us what and who we are and how we act. They also make our personalities.
A Habit or routine exists because of the elements it's made from.
Elements usually are:
and even more....
But the most habits and routines have at least the elements mentioned above within themselves.
In order to change a habit or routine you only have to change one of these elements. If greater change is desired more elements can be changed. But that's not always necessary.
The problem with habits and routines is that they suck up most of our energy. To break a routine means that energy will be freed, energy that you can use for something else.
So, the main reason why people can't change is because they're stuck. Their vital energy is gate keeping those habits and routine.
Personally I don't really like self-help books because they make you "think" about acting. Although they can be motivating but very little people really change from those books.
Some people read many self-help books and the only things they can do is advice others. You can gain lots of knowledge by reading but knowledge only becomes power when you use it.
I didn't "change" or grow until I learned how to control my thoughts. Depression etc was hard. I am not going to give you a bunch of jibber jabber, just the nitty gritty....LOL think of your mind as a glass house, are your thoughts sinking till they are yukky? if so..STOP IT, and yes, you can...two books that really helped me understand my mind area:
The Battle Field of the Mind
Who Switched off my Brain?
and if you are a Christian, reading psalms at night, before you sleep, just one or two...really reminds you...God can relate to your suffering, and sleep in peace.
Change is difficult because it is instinctively part of the makeup of most human beings to resist change. I think that is good because change just for the sake of change does not bring happiness or success for that matter. Regarding self-help books, their validity depends greatly on the individual. You may buy a book and read only to find it is chocked full of common sense information that you basically already knew but just did not have in such an organized format. For others who lack common sense, it may represent a "wealth of knowledge" that open up a totally new world for them....these are the people who truly need help. WB
The rigid pattern of self believes and thinking does not allow you to change easily. You may try changing your thinking pattern and attitudes.
Another technological way is to take support of brainwave entrainment that can allow you to take a dip into the untapped reservoir of energy inside you. When you are bubbling with energy your confidence level goes up and change becomes rather easy. This is fast, easy and effective.
Change has nothing to do with your thoughts. I mean, you can change your life by changing your thoughts if you intend to continue living in your tiny mind's world view. But there is a simpler, easier way that no self-help book and no self-help guru has ever shared... because to do so would basically destroy their very bread-and-butter - which is selling people just like you more stuff that doesn't work long term.
The real catalyst of change happens when you choose to live with the authentic, real you - the you in your heart... Live your life, make your choices consciously from your heart, and put your brain and mind on autopilot, where they belong. If you'd like more visit some of my hub pages.
long-term change comes through understanding, a clear understanding of important things in life. In order to acquire this understanding you have to constantly challenge your thoughts and ideas.
You will also require a good dose of knowledge, some of which comes from you and some comes from reading good books, but ultimately the change has to be within you by having a clear understanding. By this process you can develop your moral principles and then try your best to stay true to these principles.
I wrote about the real catalyst for change in our lives here, as well as destroyed a few self-help myths along the way:
http://www.socialanxietycures.org/best- … wn-to-bits
That's how it's done!
by Laura Izett 4 years ago
Has anyone helped themselves with a Self-help book?Just curious cause this is a big industry and I've read a few but honestly can't pinpoint anything they've done to help me. Has anyone specifically gotten help from these ypes of books? And what book was it?
by free4india 8 years ago
I was reading a book about emotional intelligence. The book asked me how I would behave in different conditions and how to behave in a non depressive way.If I am standing in a big line to buy ticket and someone gets in front of me how I should react. Instead of being angry, I...
by Anish Patel 5 years ago
Do you like reading self help books?why or why not? And if you do read them, do they actually help?
by Aditya 6 years ago
Which are your favorite self help books and why?
by Beverley Byer 4 years ago
Why aren't more self-help books aimed at men?My research on the subject of self-help books prompts the question.
by sofs 7 years ago
To be more specific - do you like to read on subjects that help you be more organized, may be a better person, to handle situations well etc. What topics would be helpful, what are your preferences.. That would be interesting to work on!! Thanks folks!
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