Why we create comfort zones and then find it difficult to come out of it?
It is well known that living in the comfort zone for too long limits growth and sets in boredom and dissatisfaction. I wonder why living comfort zone is hard for many people.
This is a very interesting question and full of many emotional issues. It does not have an easy or straight forward answer. But I have some thoughts on it.
I believe comfort zones grow within us as we grow and they are not always good places to be. For example if you are raised in an abusive home, you are comfortable with that environment, even though it is harmful to you. So you may find a partner in life as an adult who is abusive to you. For someone who does not have this background this may be hard to understand.
At some time in the future the abuse may be too painful and you may want to leave the relationship. But it is frightening to leave what you know, what you are comfortable with. So you stay with what you know rather than venture out into the unknown.
I think is is true of all comfort zones - whether good or bad. This is the place and thing we know and leaving to go into the unknown is frightening. So it is very hard to leave. It is kind of like walking out of a lighted room into a dark alley where you can't see anything. Often it takes getting some therapy or having someone you trust take you by the hand and lead you out.
We create or rather complacently accept where we are because it is what we know! Even if that comfort zone is negative people would rather stay in circumstances they know rather than take that frightening step into the unknown. Better the devil you know!
Generally fear, encouraged by our ego, holds us back. Sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith and have some self belief in order to change or you never will.
Its weird because i was just thinking the same thing to myself a minute ago..
I think your right angeltrader, I been with my other half for 12 years now. I have become so lost with my life. I haven't been happy in such a long time. But we have kids together and i don't want them to break up their home. Don't get me wrong his a good person, but i thought about walking away but i just can not do it. I had the chance to be with an ex but i was to scared to take that jump. I am scared of the unknown because im so use to being in this comfort zone now. Even going it alone scares me. I start to panic and i begin to think what if no one else wants me, what if i am on my own forever. I am now trying to get my life back. Im doing things on my own without his help. I determined to find myself and may be one day i will be strong enough to walk away. Until then i have to put up with the way things are..
Self doubt and guilt plays a lot in my life. I think im scared to be happy in case something goes wrong. I had a tough upbringing so a lot stems from that i think.
One man's preference is another man's "comfort zone". I don't think we create them. We find them. We stay in them because they're comfortable. There are any number of different ways people either do or don't stay in their comfort zone. The person who is comfortable living in the same house for years may, on the other hand, be a person who gets out of his comfort zone by, for example, constantly finding his own intellectual challenges. Because of this kind of (sometimes hidden) inconsistency with the different types of comfort zones there can be, I don't believe it is "well known that living in the comfort zone for too long limits growth....dissatisfaction.'
Another inconsistency is this: One person may have so much "excitement" or challenge in his life, there's the chance he may prefer having at least one area or another in which he can, in fact, feel kind of comfortable. Somebody might look at such a person and think, "He won't leave his comfort zone." The truth may be that he won't leave it because he has so many "discomfort zones" of one sort or another in his life, he actually needs that little bit of peace and balance.
The term, "comfort zone", is a term used by people who don't understand the other person and so find labels for behavior they don't (and maybe even can't) understand. Such labeling of behavior doesn't even seem to acknowledge the existence and needs of the individual who exhibits that behavior. As you can guess, I don't like the use of this term for the purpose of interpreting the behavior of someone else (or even oneself). It's a "rhetoric type" of term that's often used by people who need old, familiar, rhetoric rather than respect individual differences and needs between people. Some people who adopt this particular term are as equally lacking in understanding of, and compassion toward, themselves as well.
I think its fear of change and fear of being unconfortable when we create comfort zones its because we feel the need to be comforted when we address this need we can grow and learn ways to better meet our needs without having to create a so called comfort zone our fears restrick us in maney ways and this is a good example of how we let our fear hold us in bondage of growth and learning
by Rob Welsh 7 years ago
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