Is it impolite to ask for another server if the one you have has oozing pimples on their face?
The scenario: we'd gone out to eat and our young server had a crop of oozing acne all over her face.Disfigurements don't bother me, but the sight of ripe, drippy pus on the person who is supposed to bring us our food turned my stomach so badly I could hardly eat.
Is it ok to ask for a different server when this happens, or is the problem just me?
OH man I know how you feel! Yeah that can be so bad!
I would prob have just left! Just because he is not your waiter does not mean he wont handle your food
I agree. Proper etiquette would be to just leave. Go somewhere that you will feel comfortable while enjoying your meal.
I would have asked for another server first, but if you see that the person with the acne is handling your food, then I would tell the owner you don't want to eat the food because of the person's infections. The person should be put on medications and if they are not on meds they should not be allowed to handle the food. Good question.
I hadn't even thought of infections, but you're right. And as servers can't have their hair hanging over food for the contamination potential I think your observation is an astute one!
Hi. Usually if there is pus coming out of the acne it means that the glands/pores are infected. My friends who were on medications said that if they were off their medication for acne for a few days the pus would come out. Yes hair should be tied.
I am so sorry, but who cares? I could not eat with that either. It would ruin my appetite. She should have cleaned her face up before going to work and her boss should have made sure that she did.
My husband had to deal with a woman changing a poopy diaper in the booth across from him the other day. When she finished, she held the diaper up and asked what she should do with it. He told her to put it in the bathroom garbage, where she should have changed it. She had the nerve to complain to the waiter, who told her the same thing.
Yeew, Becky! What on earth is wrong with some mothers? I wouldn't even change our kids near food when we were at home. Your husband's response has my praise!
beth, what was wrong with her mother that she didn't teach her better? She and her husband got all fired up and po'd about it. I would have been disgusted too if I had gone with him. I probably would have told her before she changed the diaper.
That's ridiculous. All bathrooms have changing tables now a days. I would just go to my car and change the baby! Your husband was absolutely right!
I put that 'Who cares' badly. I meant 'who cares about the proper etiquette on something like this'.
Yeah, you're in the clear on this one. You're paying for the meal and you should be able to eat it without that mental picture.
Depends on if you don't mind costing someone her job. And making her feel really bad too. Sure, it looks nasty, but it isn't like we are talking some deadly disease here. I say ignore it.
If they are actually oozing, I would say that it's uncomfortable having to ask, but not impolite. Try to find the manager to ask so the person doesn't have to know and be as polite and discrete about it as you can.
The problem is not just you. I don't know if I would ask for another server because I would probably feel bad, but I would get up and leave. That is very disgusting and I would not be able to eat there.
If I had been in that situation I would have asked for the manager and spoken with them and told them my concerns and asked for another waiter. I would have been very careful not to embarrass the waiter but I would have asked for someone else. It is my food they are handling and it is my right to be satisfied.
Haha! I love this questions. I think, before ordering you should ask if you can "switch" tables - like out of the Server's area....no doubt, while he is waiting for your food to come up he is certainly messing with those zits!
I have written 2 hubs on MRSA and this is actually a potential sign of hub. If you can politely talk to the manager about the server covering the spot. That may be a more appropriate way to handle the situation. Otherwise If you have not ordered just leave. The server will think you just changed your mind about the restaurant and maybe the manager will notice.
Well, pus is viscous enough that it's unlikely to drip on food. What might have looked to be oozing could just have been shiny from the heat or sweat. Was it truly dripping, or was your imagination working overtime?
Personally it would gross me out too and I sympathize, but I think you have to have some compassion for the poor girl. She's already got a problem that's out of her control, and to reject her in favor of another server seems unnecessarily cruel. I'm sure she gets enough rejection from the opposite sex and her peers as it is.
Severe acne can cause social anxiety and depression for many people, especially if they are young. Waitresses work mostly for tips and she's got enough problems without having to work a shift where a customer refuses her service. You wouldn't want tears dripping on your food either I imagine!
Unless her acne pus really was dripping onto the food, I think the best thing to do is just put it out of your mind.
In high school my best friend had this problem. She was hyper sensitive about it and it caused her great pain. Other students were very cruel to her and forget about a boyfriend!! She used to see a specialist but nothing seemed to help.
And actually, she was constantly using antiseptic pads and washed her hands a lot so she wouldn't make it worse.So she was very clean.
I would ignore it. It is so difficult to have a problem like this that you can't fix and can't hide from the world. I wouldn't want to make it any worse for the person. Even if it meant not enjoying my meal.
I agree, sometimes we have to put our comfort aside for people who aren't as fortunate. I would hope people do the same for me in that situation. Good karma and all that.
I agree with you. Good job of thinking on both sides.
I too would ignore it and concur with your opinion.
It's impolite but you should do it if you have to, and have some more polite excuse ready, maybe go ahead and tip them and ask for another server. Tell them they do a great job but they look tired and you would feel guilty having them work for you.
That would sound a bit silly. The server can't go home and rest and miss her/ his shift after all. If you want to change tables you could say the air conditioner was hitting you or the sun was in your face, something that doesn't sound like a lie.
It is understandable that this could be a hard situation for someone. If I felt that bothered by a server, I would order a drink only or small side order, then leave and go to a different place. I would not treat them any different than any other server while there. I would try not to focus on their face when talking, and I would not ask for another server.
I would have to have some compassion for a person in that situation. They are most likely unhappy with their skin condition, and it is probably very hard for them to go out in public to begin with.
I think it is entirely offensive and I would never ask for a different server. If anything I would tip them more because I've been where they are. They are bold to have a job that puts them at the front of criticism and I admire what they must go through every day.
Its the floor manager fault not the service crew. The server should not me humiliated nor punish because of the floor manager incompetent. Just my taught.
I never had acne as a teenager but when I did have a few zits I was washing my hands and face all day, every time I could. It could be that the staff person with acne has cleaner hands than any of the other staff there. Including the people preparing your food.
I wouldn't let acne on someone's face bother me to the extent that it turned my stomach. My Mother is 68 and seems to be getting more fussy about small stuff. She would have complained about the server's skin too. But just to me. I get tired of listening to her complaining but if I protest she makes me feel like I'm the one being judgemental. Pretty funny how, what goes around comes around, one way or another.
Just out of curiousity... before you complain about the cleanliness of someone else, when had you last washed your own hands (with soap and water, not the antispeptic stuff people think is so infallible now)?
I would ignore it. The server actually touches the food less than the cooks.
Consider the alternate scenario where the server is clean and neat, and that the person in the kitchen that you don't see has the problem. The risk is the same, except that in this case you don't see the risk.
So the risk of food contamination is independent of what you see from the server. There is just so much other stuff that goes on with your food that you do not see. Your food is just as likely to be fine as the times when you see a clean server.
We are human beings, and we have sanitized our lives so much that petty things such as this bother us. It is not that person's fault. My brother had an acne problem and even the expensive stuff his doc suggested did nothing.
It also has no effect on your food. If it did, they would bring that up in the food handler's classes, and the Department of Health would have something to say about it. Do you ask to see the faces of the people preparing your food? What if they aren't wearing gloves, and they've got a cut on their hand oozing blood into your food? Obviously the odds of this scenario are slim, but they're far more likely than pimples affecting your dinner.
As for having mental pictures, this just proves the pussification of America.
I think I'd be too busy feeling sorry for the poor girl to be nauseated by her. My daughter is fighting acne right now. Trust me, your server is more upset by the condition of her face than you are.
Also - as far as I know, people do not serve food on their faces. The acne is unlikely to affect your food.
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