How do you help someone who is chronically late?

1. 92

   CWanamakerposted 11 years ago

   How do you help someone who is chronically late?

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2. 59

   AliceFSpencerposted 11 years ago

   I have been very blessed in life, but at one time my organization caused me to be late to everything. As a mother of 4 encourage I can say encourage your friend to try to get more organized and they have to want it. When being late starts to affect your life, the motivation to do better will come into play.....Good luck!

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3. 94

   watergeekposted 11 years ago

   Good question! I'm dealing with it now. I have a friend who's chronically late, who then makes me late when she gives me rides. Usually I don't care, but for choir practice I do care. Most people who are chronically late don't think it really hurts anyone else. Others are used to others making excuses for them. Here are my suggestions:
   
   1 - Look to see if it's really necessary that they be "on time." Who is it affecting other than themselves?
   2 - Talk to them about it. Find out if there's a problem.
   3 - If you're being made late somewhere because of them and they don't respond to talking, then find another way to get there.
   4 - If you are in charge of something that someone is always late to, and you know it's just a habit, start on time anyway. Don't wait for them.
   5 - When they come in ask point blank, in front of everyone, if you need to catch them up on anything. Then don't chastize, just move on.
   6 - Start scheduling important things at the beginning, so they miss them if they're late. Tell everyone (including them) ahead of time what you will be discussing/doing, etc. first thing. If they're late again, they miss it.
   7 - If you have periodic meetings one on one with someone who is always late to them, wait 10 minutes, then start a meeting with someone else or go somewhere and make them wait.

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4. 74

   Anti-Valentineposted 11 years ago

   I would agree that one should just start with whatever it is you are doing and don't wait for them. I think after a while, they might realise they'd better be on time because nobody is going to wait for them.
   
   It is said that people who are often late are arrogant because they have no consideration for others and their time.

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      watergeekposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I used to be chronically late and for me, as for Kimberly below, it was not arrogance. I was trying to do too much. I figured, I have this and this to do and 10 minutes before I have to leave, so I'll do it now. Now I say "No, I'm going to be early."

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5. 59

   kimberlie33posted 11 years ago

   Sadly, I am someone who is chronically late. Chronic lateness is more or less poor time management which I admit I am guilty of. I will make the effort to be on time to an event or a lunch and sure enough, every time, something happens that causes me to be late. I actually have a friend who will make plans with me and expect me to show up 30-60 minutes later, so will plan her time accordingly. And all I can say is God Bless this woman! She's saved me so much stress by doing this, you have no idea! (Now, that is not to say, I expect this of people. She just happens to have been my friend for almost two decades, knows I mean no harm, and just accepts this about me)
   From what I can tell you about myself, chronic lateness is not arrogance or a lack of respect for your time, it is, as I said, poor time management. Many times, I am rushed to get out the door and running to get to where I need to be. I still, for the life of me, cant figure out how to get it all done within a specific time frame and LOVE days when I have all day to get done what I need to get done. I will practically send myself into a panic attack as the minutes disappear and practically hyperventilate at the thought of someone waiting for me.  Anyone who knows me will tell you I never want to infringe on someones time and apologize for EVERYTHING.
   From what I can tell you socially, do not wait for a chronically late person. Tell them where you will be and invite them to get there when they can, then go about your business. Whatever they miss, they miss. But trust me, they are trying to get to you! Giving them the extra time and knowing you are not sitting there waiting for them may actually take some stress off of them.
   Where business is concerned, this adds another element of difficulty. Again, I'd suggest not waiting for them and maybe speaking to them privately to see if there is anything you can do to help them be on time.

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