In what ways do you bridge between the virtual HubPages community and whole person interaction?
Answering questions and responding with comments online can be fun and informative, yet for me it always feels 'split off' from a whole experience of having real dynamics with others. // Is that because this virtual communication, even when written thoughtfully and with some heart, is still mental? // It feels at times almost like sitting across the table, or around a campfire, but never fully and only in mental imagination. It does not involve the whole person. // So I am wondering, has anyone else felt this? Do you ever meet in person with other hubbers over a cup of coffee in your area?
I have made some really good friends on here. I know I could count on them if it was needed. Of course, we also e-mail.
I have met one of the hubbers whose work I read and it was a fun experience. She came over to my town, we met for lunch, and then went out to a local State park to enjoy some nature. We had a good time and I would love to get with her again. Unfortunately, that has not been possible lately.
Becky, glad to hear that your in-person contact was a fun experience.
Twice, in the 90s, I also met in-person with online contacts. As I look back, those were really pivotal experiences. Stories in themselves & positive life-changing for everyon
I don't feel at all "split", and I suppose it's because I only expect so much out of what amounts of snippets of interaction online, even if there's some substance and/or length to a "snippet".
This will sound very unfriendly, but one thing I don't expect to find online is a real-life, long-term, "serious", friend. Even offline friends can be in different "levels of depth". Some friends are more casual then others, so we limit some types of interactions to whatever is appropriate for the particular relationship. We can have some very real moments offline with stranger too. I recall a time in CVS when another woman and I got laughing hysterically over buying Halloween candy. And then, as the line in "Come Saturday Morning" goes, we moved on.
On HP Answers I generally look for questions that do call for some "real-person-ness". One reason is that I don't feel like giving an "information-only" answer to an "information-only" question because I tend to think about how people have been known to ask "information" questions and then post the best answers on other answer sites for money or points. So I look for questions that seem to call for offering something "human and real", and if it gets copied somewhere else; well, then, fine. I offered it to SOME one out there. If, though, the person asking was "legitimate", then even better. For that moment while I'm writing my reply I'm imagining someone who "legitimately" has that question and thinking about how I can offer such a person as good and sincere a reply as I'm able to come up with.
For each moment like that I'm being about as real and sincere and "me" as I'm ever going to be, and every one of those "authentic" moments contributes yet more to my own feeling very real and whole and somehow connected to "the world" - or more importantly, that at least one other person somewhere has had his "question" or idea heard by at least one other real person.
So much of what folks do/say online or off is fake. I imagine a big bowl, of fake fruit that one might offer the world. Then, though, I imagine a tiny dish on which a few pieces of real fruit is offered. As a person, I'm content and "whole-feeling" in knowing that whatever I offer "the world" - no matter how small or insignificant - is real and is offered with the idea of "trying to offer something" rather than trying to get something for myself.
Trying to be a friend to someone doesn't always have to mean becoming a long-term friend. :
The only words of your answer I do not agree with are, 'This will sound very unfriendly...' None of the answer sounded unfriendly.
It sounded direct, honest and real. Also insightful & enriching!
I look for deeper dialog, not friends.
Online means an easy choice for anonymity.
If we become uncomfortable with someone's comments, or the direction is not attractive, we can just 'disappear.'
There is no agreement of commitment or accountability here. Not that such is needed or desirable, it is just an observation of the nature of our commenting with each other.
Certainly reasonable or no expectations towards an online exchange will help avoid dis-satisfaction.
The Qs & As that attract me usually have some philosophical note. Some choice to explore new angles on universal subjects like 'What is your perception of death?' or provide usable input such as towards the real-life question, 'How would you address a student question about the topic of god/s?'
A relationship does not have to be long-term to be profound, that is true.
In my own examples, a couple in Phoenix saw my online activity in the 90s and invited me to visit them, from Atlanta. I flew, stayed with them several days, we went to the Red Rocks of Sedona and to less-explored canyon lands. We did 'healing' sessions with each other. Had natural conversations each day. Discussed options for working together. In the end, we each went our ways. It was a significant stepping stone for me, and a memorable experience for them.
Another couple, who lived in Atlanta when I did, invited me into their home for weekly psycho-synthesis sessions over a period of six months. That was also a turning point for me. I had enmeshed myself in a self-limiting belief system, and the inner work we did together enabled me to make tough choices and begin to be more true to myself. Their lives were deeply touched.
Lisa, I especially like your "...every one of those "authentic" moments contributes yet more to my own feeling very real and whole and somehow connected ..."
I know that is true for you. It happened for me once on HP, with the 'topic of god/s' question.
My Q here came up from some self-analysis.
I do not 'expect' others to have had the same experience, though the description asks.
The discontent keeps appearing on my plate, though. I would like to have *more* real-life dialog, something that has a choice to deepen. I feel that my participation in the Q & A, addictive as it is, uses a small part of my gifts - mostly mental, which is not what I want to exercise.
This is not necessarily my farewell. I don't want to just disappear without notice from the Q & A, and am pondering.
Hello Emanate Presence. I read what was here first after your questions, Becky Katz & Lisa HW and yourself had posted at this time. I will from the get of go share the term virtual is obvious stating not necessarily non-existent, yet more so having a connotation of almost.
There is an old saying in the field of auto repair and machining that "close" only counts with horseshoes and hand grenades. Tending to be with regard to getting something machined to spec and works, the car after an alignment goes straight, handles correctly, and does not wear tires.
Some talk amongst cognitive scientist is that it is easier to watch a movie than it is to make a movie regarding home movies and that as an enterprise. In essence the time is the same as maker and viewer yet the effect and the inspiration are of the comparison. The contrast and compare of those two are the ensuing dialogue. That tends to remain in the course of affect never reaching or realizing the effect.
The flow some say is the before the before, the before, the now, the next, and finally the then. Yet, when does then end. Another view is there is inspiration, cause, affect (some say those are the same and others say interchangeable), and effect.
The allusion brought into the discussion is it is mental even if well written or not well written. It is differentiated by the phase usage of "split off." [Footnote: An author much greater than I and a mentor shared that 'word' is a word with horns and "word" is a word with wings. I still ponder that too said with a smile . . .] Again, in the chat world those symbols are significant and immense meaning. Like five exclamation points is a grad slam !!!!! A single exclamation point was strike one!
What bears upon the discussion could be said is both purpose and purposeful. Using chat room symbols in a chat setting could cause an emotional stir and blend could get really bubbly, really steamy, really steaming, and just simmering. I ask of trust with the outcomes of those in a volatile setting does offer real life events to unfold. Now I ask you to believe me the consequences at times are beyond dramatic and at times life and death circumstances with metaphorical language and not playtime. Then ask again for trust.
Consequences of interactions are consequences. The goal in my humble opinion is the purpose, which are hubs. The longest length of a answer comment is one page or near 500 words. A comment could be a rough draft. Ponder Finding Forrester . . .
I love it!
virtual = almost
virtual & 'actual'? - yet effect & inspiration are the comparison
'word' is a word with horns - haha! - my ' is for looks.
the purpose, hubs. - yes, HP's purpose. yet why change something into what it is not?
Hello EP! I ponder how many times with a why & a what only having been here for 2 yrs. I would think the knowledge of change would be interesting. Ponder HP began 6 or 7 yrs hence. Then chat was the universe. Evolution from chat to hubs? Niche?
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