I am always looking for Isolation, help me

1. 72

   akramiposted 14 years ago

   Dear all<
   
   I am 32 year old unmarried and virgin male.Working in newspaper office as a translator.  I am suffering with a problem, which is that whether it's home or at work, I can't see anybody's company, particularly when I am reading books or browsing the computer. I can't tolerate anybody's presence in the room where I am reading, no matter how far is is he. 
   
   I feel it irritating to the people with whom I react so but I can't help with doing so. How can I get rid of my such rude behavior?
   
   Please help!

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      Bikash jhaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      you seriously need sex, and a very mature girlfriend who can understand your sitautation and cope with you, go on internet and search for somebody.

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      1. 72

         akramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Mr. Bikash,
         
         Thank you for your reply.
         
         There is no  doubt that to get married is a long last dream of every single man.  However, your suggestion to search a girl friend on internet is in my view not that much useful
         I am sorry to say that internet is not a real world but an imaginary world and an illusion. So, how can I trust an depend on an illusionary  world, where every thing is fake a promise is fake, a pact is fact and the yes opened of the people affected by this illusion, when every things went wrong and one remain on it place.

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      Website Examinerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Realistically, you need either a very reliable and wise mentor/friend or professional help. This cannot be solved in a discussion forum. That is my honest opinion.

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      Panicposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      When you feel like saying something out of frustration and intolerance, try to either zip your lip or crack a joke instead. Act patiently. You can also reframe the situation at hand with a light-hearted approach. Laughter is much better for your health than the stress that comes with a short fuse and exasperation. Remember, for every minute you are angry you lose 60 seconds of joy.

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      ryankettposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Is this satire?
      
      In my group of mates we don't hold back in expressing our true opinion...... Not getting your end away by the age of 32 is a certain fail. Consider 'hiring' a girl for the night. They are getting paid, are used to failure, and won't care less if you finish in 30 seconds.
      
      Getting rid of your 'V' plates and realising that sex is one of the easiest things in life to carry out will be a huge step.

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         lambservantposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         You are an animal!

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      Jim Hunterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Commit a crime and go to prison.
      
      That should fix it.

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      dutchman1951posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      AK, speak with a professional counselor and seek the proper help, it will be the best for you.

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      IzzyMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      See your doctor. That's a classic symptom of anxiety. I understand totally. You need to step away from your work life and socialize a bit. Nothing wrong with being a virgin, despite some of the comments on this thread. You just haven't met the right person, yet.
      And as for your work-life, while yes being on your own allows you to concentrate better on your workload, this 'not wanting other people in the same room' is a cause for concern.
      Hop you get it sorted
      
      Ps try working from home, solves all those issues, except the virginity bit, you need to go out and socialize for that.

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   8. 60

      smcopywriteposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      this is an anxiety disorder that will continue to progressively get worse. you wont be able to function at all. surprised you can still work. see dr immediately to treat your condition. typically counseling and medication will help. dont expect immediate results because you didnt come to this place overnight. it will take time to leave this place.

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2. 75

   Hauntyposted 14 years ago

   Why do you read so much? And also, what kind of books?!

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      akramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      To read is my Hobby.  My interesting topic the psychology particularly, the topic which tells something about females and to understand although I have not any female friend in my life.  Allan & Barbara Paese are my favorite authors, besides this once I used to read the books of personality development and related to management.

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3. 69

   myownworldposted 14 years ago

   Perhaps, all you need is to vent out all that pent up sexual frustration... things usually look less hostile afterwards...
   
   hello again btw...

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      akramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Will you please give some details regarding this?  I haven't got you properly.

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4. 63

   prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

   it is good if you can open up to the world a bit -- if you are happy within yourself it will show and the more women will approach you! try to be approachable, it will do you more good than harm,

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      akramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your suggestion. I'll try to follow it.

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5. 0

   Website Examinerposted 14 years ago

   Seems the roots are pretty deep:
   
   http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/24136

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      Bikash jhaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      you are rite i have just seen it.

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6. 63

   prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

   plus we don't bite, we understand men a lot!

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      Bikash jhaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      ahem hahahahah

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      akramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Really!!!!!!!!!!!!
      LOl

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7. 66

   Ivorwenposted 14 years ago

   As someone who is very aware of the presence of another person in the room, I can understand not liking to have anyone one around while you are reading or working on the computer.  Those activities require concentration and focus.  It is hard to be aware of what others in a room are doing, especially when they are behind you, and to focus on what you need to do. 
   
   My suggestion is to organize the rooms you read or use the computer in, in such a manner as to have control of the room.  By control, I mean make sure you have a good view of the doors and windows. 
   Do not put your back to the main door in the room.  Doing so will make you feel very insecure and reactive. Also, remove all pointy/poky plants and decorations. If you cannot rearrange the room, for what ever reason, use mirrors to give yourself a view of the doors.
   
   I'm not sure what being a virgin has to do with this, so I will leave it alone.  It really shouldn't matter one way or the other.  Personally, I think you are better off waiting for the right person, than just finding someone for the moment.

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   1. 72

      akramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your detailed suggestion. I'll try to follow the same.

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8. 0

   Website Examinerposted 14 years ago

   Ivorwen, that is no way to live. There has got to be a better solution.

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      Bikash jhaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      hey she seems like an expert, i might try them that definetly will make me feel good

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      Ivorwenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Being aware of other's presence or being a virgin?

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         Bikash jhaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         first thing first being virgin ha ha
         no way lol

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         Website Examinerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I was referring to being aware of another person's presence. But the other issue is also relevant because the problem is so profound.
         
         It is kind of you to suggest this, but that must be a last resort. I'd recommend trying professional help first. Look at the previous thread, and you may agree that that therapy is a reasonable option for the OP to pursue.

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            Bikash jhaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            i have seen it(are you talking to me), he seriously need profesional help, i agree, i was just kidding

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               Website Examinerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I was talking to Ivorwen, who asked me to clarify. I understood what you meant.

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            Ivorwenposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks for clearing that up.    I have not read the other thread yet, but will.
            
            What I suggested is basic feng shui, as I have seen it make a big difference.  A friend showed me how she had rearranged her house, and it was much calmer.  Then I use it in the areas I read and in my classroom, so that my children feel relaxed.  Like it or not, it makes a difference, if the problem is environmental.

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               Website Examinerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Interesting, thank you.

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   Website Examinerposted 14 years ago

   It has started again...

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      ryankettposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      What has?

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         Website Examinerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         This difficult thread had been quiet for two months. Then Panic brought it back to life...

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            ryankettposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Its an interesting one. Are you female?
            
            I maintain that what he needs it to get his dinky wet. Once you start you don't stop.
            
            He is overcomplicating the very simple matter of sexual intercourse. You find a willing partner, you stick it in, move it in and out, wiggle it about a bit, done.
            
            Reading or computers dont need to be part of that.

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            1. 0

               lambservantposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               ryankett, your comments are loathsome. If that is how you answer all of lifes difficulties, and if that is all a woman is to you, then I hope my grandaughter never meets a man like you when she gets older. You are describing a selfish, act, not a reltationship. I am not saying sex is bad, but you are not describing a loving intimacy, you are talking about a meaningless, self-serving, unemotional act to sate your selfish sexual desires. Perhaps the women you use are comfortable with your attitude, if so I am sorry for both of you. I tend to think this young man needs to find a relationship or explore with a counselor what is at the root of his problem. These are not feelings and behaviors of someone who is just needing sex.

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10. 0

    Website Examinerposted 14 years ago

    My posts much earlier explain my position. I found it difficult to give advice; something the OP apparently did not appreciate, either. My two emails to you - the latest merely a couple of weeks old - both include my name, which answers your question.

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11. 0

    lambservantposted 14 years ago

    Sex with some strange floozy with diseases is not what you need. Pay no attention to those that have suggested such things. It is obvious there is a deeper problem than needing sex.A meaningful reltationship with a wife someday would be more appropriate. But until then I would really encourage you to seek professional help or get into a support group. I am not a mental health professional, but it sounds to me like there is something deep that is troubling you under the surface. I congratulate you for remaining pure. If more people excercised such self-control the world would be a far better place. But I agree with the one gal. Perhapse the fact that you have remained sexually pure is of no importance. But working with a professional counselor would be very helpful in exploring the nature of your feelings and perhaps you will be able to learn to be closer to people. Best wishes.

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12. 0

    Stephanie Dwyerposted 14 years ago

    You have a social phobia coupled with gad.  The only cure is to fix it yourself. You can use med's wich may or may not mask the isuue.  I recomend visiting happytrails122.com for more info. Good Luck

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       akramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Thank you very much sir I will try to follow your suggestion.

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    PersonalityDisposted 14 years ago

    You probably have avoidant personality disorder. (I plan to make a hub about it in the future.) Since you like reading about psychology topics, you may have heard of this problem before. Some important things to know:
    
    When did this start? Personality disorders typically emerge during adolescence and early adulthood.
    
    What's causing you to push people away? People with avoidant personality disorder are too self-conscious. They are afraid that people might reject them and criticize them. Do you think you have some issues with your self-esteem? Do you sometimes think that you are being too hypersensitive even from just innocent remarks? If you do for both questions, you probably have this disorder.
    
    Are you hoping to find that someone to spend the rest of your life with? That someone who will accept you for whoever you are, even despite of your limitations and imperfections? This is the common theme behind the fantasies of people with avoidant personality disorder.
    
    Have you ever experienced panic attack? This is optional, but 50% do.
    
    Most people with APD can marry, but remain guarded in their actions. People with APD often don't want to get help because therapies irk them - another social catastrophe. So I suggest stop being part of the bandwagon and ask for professional help. This forum post is a start.

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       mrmorgposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I am hearing your anxiety being attached to the inability to accept your personality as an introvert.  You naturally derive your energy by being alone.  There are many others who are introverts.  I would suggest spending time in interpersonal AND intrapersonal study.  Know yourself and that will help you to change yourself. Have you ever taken a MBTI? Go to a site with personality tests and if they are research based they you stand to learn a great deal about yourself and your strengths and limitations.

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14. 66

    Joy56posted 14 years ago

    Is the person with the problem well now, after all this advice....

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15. 61

    bharathiyarposted 14 years ago

    Hi akrami, it is a kind of anxiety. Unless you take some regular medication with counselling you would feel the same with any other method.
    
    In homeopathy many drugs portrait the condition like what you have. Consult nearby homeopathic physician. It will give you relief sooner.

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16. 69

    Pearldiverposted 14 years ago

    LOST CHERRY EXPRESS....
    
    We Are Very Pleased To Announce That Akrami Has Since Popped His Cherry!!
    
    We are told that he and his new partner have Eloped and are planning to raise many KIDS!  
    
    
    
    
    YEA.... What a Fitting End to his backward bunting skills!

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17. 69

    Pearldiverposted 14 years ago

    Izzy.... He's Gone..... Off in a romantic cloud of Bliss!
    
    He had neglected to tell us about the 'girlfriend' - I guess he thought we would just act the goat with him, if we knew.
    
    Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh
    
    Sorry... I'm KIDding of course!

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       akramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Mr. Pearl Driver,
       
       I have not been having any affair with any girl.
       Got it!

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18. 63

    prettydarkhorseposted 14 years ago

    I used to be like that, slightly changing. I talk to myself and happy being alone. I worked in a different setting now as a waitress and part time customer service rep in another office. Sometimes I am thinking change is difficult specially if that behavior is embedded already. But I think I am slightly changing, I notice that, I am not so shy anymore. Guess I am more ok with online interaction, but the actual world is a bit more different and I am persistent to change and throw away that shyness.

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    1. 72

       akramiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hello Pretty!
       My is the same situation, while I am Ok online, but in real life I can't tolerate to be with me.  I am too want to change my attitude, but not yet succeeded.  I will try to follow your idea.

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          prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I am glad you want to change, Good luck!

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