Does "VICTIM" attract positive attention?

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  1. purpleangel47 profile image61
    purpleangel47posted 13 years ago

    Because if it doesn't, why do we keep making choices that will label us victims?

    1. britneydavidson profile image60
      britneydavidsonposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      My answer is Yes!

      They are victim because they dont have clear knowledge what is negative or positive, wrong or right. So when one teach them and enter postiveness in them then surely they will accept it. I am sure everyone is attact by postiveness.

      1. Friendlyword profile image61
        Friendlywordposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        You have to be the sweetest girl alive. I hope you keep that attitude and that smile the rest of your life. God Bless you sweetheart!

    2. profile image0
      cosetteposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      well, only if pity is your bag.

      the only true victims are those who have no voice or cannot defend themselves. small children, animals, infirm elderly people and people living in oppressive regimes come to mind...

      there are people who are 'professional victims'. these people create their own awful circumstances and instead of working to change them, they blame others and cry 'poor me' all the time to get attention, which is pitiful as far as i am concerned.

    3. Maddie Ruud profile image73
      Maddie Ruudposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      To lots of people, negative attention is better than no attention at all.  You see this with kids all the time.  If their parents don't pay enough attention to them, they start to act up, because even getting in trouble is some kind of connection.

      1. Friendlyword profile image61
        Friendlywordposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        Funny...Those same words are in a pet store book related to understanding dogs behavior.  A dog wants your attention so bad it would prefer you beat it rather than ignore it.
        Do you think human victims of a crime want to get shot or stabbed again for the attention it would get them?

    4. vydyulashashi profile image58
      vydyulashashiposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Yes. A sudden attention of caution, anxiety, sympathy and questions is what we say attention.

  2. Cagsil profile image72
    Cagsilposted 13 years ago

    Being a victim doesn't attract positive attention.

    New choices become available to victims that were not available before they became a victim or were not seen.

    This puts a positiveness on the future, but not as far as attention goes. The problem is, a victim will not see it as positive until they have accepted the fact that they are a victim to begin with.

    Once accepted, then positiveness will enter. smile

    1. sofs profile image78
      sofsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I think it attracts attention, mostly negative for I look at sympathy or any act that arises out of sympathy as negative as it does not actually help the person grow .It also attracts attention  from the wrong kind of people who love to victimize others.   Part of your question is why do we make choices that label us as victims,
      If a person makes wrong choices all the time , it would mean that there is some dysfunctional  thinking,  the person needs to understand the motives behind  making such choices. They may actually enjoy  any attention they get.
      Most of the time if their behavior is begging for attention, they would end up being used and trashed again and again.

    2. purpleangel47 profile image61
      purpleangel47posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Sounds so easy Cagsill; but so many people have a hard time emerging from that dark victim cloud.

      1. Cagsil profile image72
        Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        I didn't say anything about it being easy. Acceptance is the hardest part of it entire ordeal. Most cannot believe that they have become a victim. That's reality.

        A person has trouble grasping "how" they became a victim, because they cannot understand the reason. wink

  3. Lisa HW profile image63
    Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

    A person can very much have the attitude of a "non-victim" and yet be victimized.  As you implied, Cagsil, there's little benefit in not admitting one has been victimized.  It's not about getting attention.  In fact, in a world that so often goes on to blame the victims anyway, there's little benefit in even admitting that one has been victimized.

    1. purpleangel47 profile image61
      purpleangel47posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Well .... I don't know Lisa ... I think the benefit in admitting - at least to yourself - that you've been made a victim is that admission is empowering.

      1. Rafini profile image69
        Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        I don't see how admitting you've been victimized is empowering.  I think its disempowering... 

        Fighting back is empowering.

  4. Friendlyword profile image61
    Friendlywordposted 13 years ago

    Once a person has been really victimized: Raped, shot, stabbed. They don't change as much as people think. The problem usually is how people start to treat the people victimized. Consider the treatment of women raped in Muslim and African countries.

  5. Lisa HW profile image63
    Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

    When people are truly victimized (to whatever degree or extreme it may be) it isn't because they've made a choice to be victimized.  Maybe some people set themselves up for some "neurotic" reason, but the world is full of very real victims who never made any choice to become victimized.

    1. Friendlyword profile image61
      Friendlywordposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      "choice to become victimized."

      What dime store crackpot thought up this downright stupid phrase anyway?

      1. DzyMsLizzy profile image86
        DzyMsLizzyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        no one consciously 'chooses' to become a victim.  However, sub-conscious body-language signals can attract predatory types more to some persons than to others.

        That said, having become victimized, does not mean you have to dwell upon that incident and 'live there' for the rest of your life.  Take whatever steps are necessary to 'get over it,' and empower yourself so you will not become a victim in the future.

      2. Cagsil profile image72
        Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        Hey Friendly, next time take the WHOLE sentence and NOT part of it. hmm

  6. DzyMsLizzy profile image86
    DzyMsLizzyposted 13 years ago

    A BIG part of this problem is the politicians and the media:  in conjunction with the school system, there is a push to teach people to be victims!

    If those in power (politicians of all stripes) can manage to rule by fear, we can be 'victimized' into believing the best thing for our own good and safety is to have our rights and freedoms gradually stripped away.

    It is time to "just say no!" to this rule-by-fear tactic that is becoming so widespread.  Instead of sitting in the house fearing to go out "in case there is a bad person out there waiting to do us harm," get involved in making changes!!

    Mostly, there are not that many 'bad people'  'out there.'  This is the very misperception of which I speak, generated by the media and its "if it bleeds, it leads" tactic.

    Educate yourself.  READ!!  READ ALL SIDES, not just the one you WANT to believe.  Learn the real truth!  Enroll in a self-defense class.  You will be empowered and escape that ubiquitous victim mentality.  Once you do these things, you are  a force for positive change. 

    It starts with each one of us.  Let's have a grassroots campaign to take back our lives from the fear-mongers!

  7. Rafini profile image69
    Rafiniposted 13 years ago

    This is an interesting topic!

    My answer is No, a victim does not attract positive attention, nor does a victim attract negative attention.  No attention is given to a victim until said victim shows they want it by taking a stand against the victimizer.  (by reporting a crime, speaking up, talking back, running away, whatever it takes to not be a victim) 

    The attention the victim receives for their stand determines how the victim reacts the next time they become a victim - IF they become a victim again.  This cycle continues until the victim is no longer a victim.

    Does this equal a victim mentality?  I don't think so.  I think its a survivor mentality.

  8. Daniel Carter profile image64
    Daniel Carterposted 13 years ago

    There are A LOT of victims in the world, who are used to the benefits of being one. They see attention, any attention, better than no attention at all. And those not familiar with their manipulations will often fall for their little traps and offer sympathy, help, and rescuing, which enables them to continue to be a victim.

    Offering assistance is not a crime, nor is it wrong. Offering compassion and understanding are all good. However, when it's offered over and over again and that recipient continues to be enabled to be a victim, it's just enabling.

    I was a victim of abuse, theft, bad lawyers, religion and a lot more. Thankfully, the old habits are generally dead these days, and I feel very much alive and capable, not a victim. It takes time to face the reality and get out of denial. Not everyone is willing to do that.

  9. Mighty Mom profile image78
    Mighty Momposted 13 years ago

    There are lots of different "victims."
    There are those who legitimately are victims of circumstance. They have been "victimized" by crises, crime, etc.
    There are also those -- and these are actually much more common -- who PLAY the victim.
    This goes to what Daniel Carter said.
    Victimhood is a mindset which can be overcome.
    I was raped but don't label myself as a "victim." I am a rape SURVIVOR.
    I had a friend awhile back who really exploited the fact that she had had breast cancer. She tried to use it to manipulate people into giving her special treatment because she was a victim. It was pretty sickening, actually.
    I am also in recovery. I have stopped going through life seeing myself as the victim of anything and everything around me(this is CLASSIC alcoholic/addict thinking).
    Living in blame and shame is not healthy.

    I don't think my post directly answered the question, but oh well smile !!!

  10. thisisoli profile image71
    thisisoliposted 13 years ago

    There is definitley a difference between being a victim of rape, and being a victim in life. Some people consistantly act as if the world was against them. In most cases the only thing against you is yourself.

    1. Friendlyword profile image61
      Friendlywordposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Purpleangle47 and Cagsil
      I had to come back to forum because of the title. My I ask some of you what qualifications you have to comment on a subject like this. Was your family slaughtered in front of your face? Did someone slit your throat and stand their stand there and laugh at you?

      Besides being shortchanged at filines' Basement; what qualifies you to speak about us. A lot of edumacated fools out here,  go to some very dangerous places they dont know anything about... for a buck!

      Most real victims cant move on because MURDER IS ILLEGAL, and revenge never feels as good as you thougth it would.  There is no dime store analysis needed here!

  11. Cagsil profile image72
    Cagsilposted 13 years ago

    Hey Friendly,

    "There is no dime store analysis needed here!"

    Tells me you have a problem and should seriously seek help.

    As for what my qualifications are for posting to this forum? I am a member of HubPages and it is a PUBLIC forum.

    You don't like it....too bad. Get over yourself.

    1. Friendlyword profile image61
      Friendlywordposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I dont know...but I like most of what you say. When I dont like what you say I move on because I respect what you have to say. I dont see where I said something directed personally at you or your way of thinking.  I like the way you think and the things you say...where is all this hostility coming from? Was it my naked picture I posted here a few months ago? Are you the type of girley boy that attacks people that really turn you on? I dont want nothing to do with your sordid life...move on!

      1. Cagsil profile image72
        Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        From your ridiculous statement- "dime store analysis" or did you  miss you saying that?

  12. Cagsil profile image72
    Cagsilposted 13 years ago

    I take you don't see that as criticizing what was offered in the forum? The statement itself is hostile.

    1. Friendlyword profile image61
      Friendlywordposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I thought what you said was right on the money. I have no problem with it. You are absulutely right...I was honestly looking for an example you could state to make youself seem more in tune to what the victim feels,


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