Calling all siblings!!!!

1. 0

   Ruach Eishposted 13 years ago

   Hi, I am the sister and carer of a man who is severely autistic, although I don't like using the term because to me he is perfectly normal, especially as I am the younger sibling - I have never known anything else.  But I would love to hear of the experiences/feelings of anyone else who has an autistic or aspergers sibling.  Can we ever really know what they think and feel and how they see the world?

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2. 82

   Rafiniposted 13 years ago

   I don't have a sibling with Aspergers, I have a son with Aspergers.
   
   It requires a lot of patience and understanding to even consider the possibility of understanding my son.  He surprises me every day, still. (he's 21)
   
   I think the first thing to do, when you reach the point in wanting to understand (you know, after you're long past the embarrassment & acceptance stages of the teenage years) is to find books to read on the subject and talk with your parents about the differences in raising a child with Aspergers compared to one without. 
   
   A book I recommend: Taking Charge of ADHD - it's the book the psychiatrist recommended when my son was 8.  It was very helpful.  When the doctors finally told me my son had Aspergers (2 years ago, I think it was) I bought a book called, The Aspergers Answer Book.  Another excellent book! 
   
   After reviewing the books, you'll begin to understand how your sibling will never 'outgrow' their disability, and you'll probably appreciate their personality more while forgiving them for their inability to relate due to their disability.
   
   Now, if I could only get my 17 year old to get it!    (he just gets super frustrated with his older brother for being so childish and not understanding)

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3. 67

   NateSeanposted 13 years ago

   The first thing that you can do that will probably help loads, is not to treat Aspergers and Autism like they're one in the same.
   
   A person with Aspergers, (namely myself) is fully capable of understanding and expressing feelings. But a person with Aspergers or Autism is as much an individual as you are.
   
   When you fall into step with those books and those "experts", you tend to lose track of the individual that's standing in front of you.

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   1. 82

      Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Good point - it's a balancing act.  Another thing to remember is that everyone is different, and what may be true for one (in terms of how Aspergers affects them) wont be true for another.  (my son has Aspergers and ADHD, hence, the first book)

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